buff, tatted-up mma trainer david cross is in Hard Target 2


#21

So what you’re saying is, it’s no Day of Reckoning.


#22

going by her imdb she isn’t embedded yet

only time will tell~

she’s ripped to shreds and wearing some kind of leather tanktop/bustier combo; gets one fight with adkins but is finished off by HL who gets her sprawlstretched between two stalled, rusted train cars there to receive a double-knee drop that lands her neck on some nondescript bit of pointed metal

shameful

duh

it’s fine

it’s silly

you can see the edges of the budget everywhere

it moves through it’s characters like a checklist and never quite gets its setpieces going beyond a handful of stunts but some of them are OK? the fights are short and sometimes mediocre but legible? it’s still slightly better than most action movies you can see in a motion picture theater these days, really?

scott adkins gets wet and throws some kicks

there’s no equivalent to Wilford Brimley on a horse and Jango Fett is no Arnold Vosloo!

lance henriksen is in the JOHNNY STRONG movie oh fuk


#23

where do you find out about a new JOHNNY STRONG vehicle in 2 0 1 6?

BLADE MAGAZINE OF COURSE

I’m sure you are, Johnny.


#24


#25

oh fu–


#26

johnny strong is mad maxin’ it

johnny strong runs an m14 with a little suppressor that make it clack clack and have zero visible recoil

or maybe if I worked out as much as johnny strong did I too would feel the report of a .308 like the softest fart

johnny strong might have some lingering wasteland issues

I came into this expecting gun handling porn based on SINNERS + SAINTS and hey look an action beat based around a stovepipe!

johnny strong curses loudly as he kicks away the murderous undead and tries to clear his jam!!!


#27

start-to-wasteland-rapethreats: about 15 minutes

I was annoyed that James Yeager was in this, but at least he’s a scumbag who gets murdered quickly?!

“this would be better if max teleported in and saved everyone from humungus’ thugs because he’s just that badass!” -johnny strong watches that one scene with the telescope, etc. from The Road Warrior


#28

this is I Am Legend w/ Fast Zombies That Hate The Sun + The Road Warrior + Assault on Precinct 13 + JOHNNY STRONG and lance henriksen loves children:

this guy!


#29

They’re calling Henriksen “Frank” so I’m choosing to believe he’s Frank Black.


#30

johnny strong is hunting an ALPHA

he has DONE THIS BEFORE

LET ME KILL THE ALPHA FOR YOU AND YOU’LL GET A WINDOW WHERE THE OTHER DUMB UNDEAD MONSTERS WON’T BE SO GOOD AT KEEPING YOU FROM MAKING A RUN FROM YOUR STRONGHOLD TO THAT OTHER PLACE

johnny strong has tactical gloves

a guy talks about covering them, but THE CROSSWINDS BETWEEN THESE BUILDINGS PLAY HAVOC WITH MY BULLETS


#31

bless you


#32

I don’t understand this grip


#33

Loving the flashlight/sunglasses combo.


#34

it’s about keeping infectious fluids out of their eyes NOT LOOKING AS TACTICOOL AS POSSIBLE AT ALL TIMES OK

they’re creeping into a hotel basement now

they have to SET THE CHARGES

JUST DO ME shirt volunteers to set the most difficult and crucial charge

he’s gonna fuck it up


#35

RIP


#36

wait a second… this alpha thing is after YOU! JOHNNY STRONG!! another character suddenly says for no apparent reason


#37

johnny strong’s unique facial geometry was really made for shouting YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!!

everyone who went on the ALPHA HUNTING expedition is dead except johnny strong and johnny strong got down from the building they were huntin’ in by fastroping

the russian (vlad!) with the weird way of holding an AK got to do leghook on a zombman and a gameoverman on some more and himself


#38

“I shot that Alpha three times in the chest! It just won’t die!”

“Everything dies!” snarls johnny strong

plz note that the alpha is wearing a plate carrier but it seems to be empty of playes???

frank is pretty sore at johnny strong for getting all those dudes including a perfectly serviceable russian and his last remaining son killed

but there’s only twenty minutes left in the movie so he guesses he’ll give a short, awkward monologue before throwing in with him for one last big delaying action while the bus gets away


#39

everyone who stayed behind with johnny strong to distract the ravenous undead and their undad dies but then johnny strong kills the alpha by tricking it into tackling him out onto the sun-drenched roof

…and then the bus hasn’t even left?!

'hey johnny strong you could totally come with us if you want"


#40

SNAKE?!