posted these in the old place, but here they are again!
metal warriors is “that joke your annoying friend always tells about airsoft being for kids” (**)
kane & lynch 2: dog days is “not fired, it quits” (****)
god hand is “‘the old man and the sea’ inadvertently in the list of bestselling children’s books” (****)
okami is “squinting at a painting” (**)
castlevania: aria of sorrow is “like tasting the most delicious snack from a cartoon” (****)
assassin’s creed: revelations is “lying” (1/2)
arcus odyssey is “saying it knows what’s best for you” (***)
transistor is “being old enough to enjoy silence right after a shower” (****)
rhythm tengoku is “what they want you to believe show business was like in the 20’s” (****)
god of war is “an (terrifying) ideal” (*)
god of war is “probably a good idea for an internet profile picture, right?” (*)
halo: combat evolved is “the cyberpunk future’s most popular augmented reality software” (***1/2)
demon’s souls is “like throwing a bowling ball in a particularly nice pool” (****)
dragon quest ii is “not as good as the first one, but then again: so are most videogames” (****)
bulkslash is “a game i made up in my head as a kid” (***)
lufia 2: rise of the sinistrals is “The Internet Person’s Guide to stop saying things are ‘badly’ or ‘well’ written without knowing what that means” (****)
gunstar heroes is “sometimes the only videogame that has ever existed” (***1/2)
red dead redemption is “a game where dirt is supposed to be dirt” (****)
popful mail is “why we should pay attention to detail and, consequently, why i need an aspirin right now” (**)
valkyria chronicles is “too good to be true” (****)
heart of darkness is “the caliginous corners of nostalgia” (**1/2)