Anyway,
3 Likes
I contrived a series of events so the magical idol in the grove disappeared, the druids started murdering everyone, i fought my way back up to the upper level and did some looting then snuck out… but i immediately ran into this problem where no matter what one of my party members would always be stuck in combat after leaving the grove so i couldn’t long rest anymore. i tried to rectify this in multiple ways, including going back and finishing off the last few druids, but it didnt work. i ended up having to wait for them to kill all the tieflings, which gave me a quest update that the surviving tieflings left (???), then had to kill all the druids and kagha after they left combat which I guess finally allowed things to work. Except it’s really fucking stupid that I had to participate in this extremely tedious battle I had multiple opportunities to walk away from, that the tutorial tips even encouraged me to run away from when I engaged Kagha, and my reward for dealing with all this is now I get to raid an empty grove I guess because the game refused to let me walk away without bugging out? It sucks because I really liked this scenario conceptually, starting a huge massacre and then wandering off to go meet up with Minthara to raid the surviving druids as punishment for their crimes, but I guess my powerful Drow thinking is too hardcore for the game. I wasted like two hours trying to work my way around this because I didn’t want to reload a save from before the fight started cuz it was a genuine accomplishment to get out of the sacred pool and I really liked that fight!
I also had a problem earlier where I saved 2 tiefling kids from literally being killed and yet their leader was insanely pissed off at me for grabbing the arm of one of them, so I didn’t even have the quest to steal the idol because I couldnt get it, I just did it. I can like excuse it because it’s a fucking kid and kids arent exactly known for their diplomacy but like I keep getting the continued vibe that you are not really supposed to bully people or be conniving in this game because it like literally confuses the scripting even though you can play as a serial killer with uncontrollable urges. I just keep running into awkwardness!
5 Likes
Also it’s extremely goofy and weird that trying to look up a solution to this problem just led me to endless dumbass reddit posts that were like “How can I raid the grove without killing anyone” “Can I knock out dammon to keep him alive when the violence starts”, like how come I can’t be evil in a clever way without the game getting extremely confused but they patched the fuckin game so you can knock out minthara in an incredibly contrived way to recruit her while preserving your good boy honor even though it makes no sense
2 Likes
I ended up having to reload my save and raid the grove normally anyway so uh don’t try and get too clever I guess
1 Like
fucking hell lmao
2 Likes
No matter how many times I play act 1 La’zael is ALWAYS trying to jump my bones within 30 minutes. I’m always playing duergar so maybe she just has a type.
Honestly I know that picking a boyfriend/girlfriend in these games is something a lot of people take seriously but unless it’s some crazy alien sex thing played (I think) for laughs like La’zael I never want to engage with a video game romance system ever again.
3 Likes
Going insane that the only trans woman in this entire game is voiced by a youtuber. There’s really no trans voice actresses you could’ve paid huh
2 Likes
Sex with the frog woman is not a joke
(Also 100% positive that that’s the joke)
This is just demonstrating that the writing is way funnier than anything bioware ever did
4 Likes
I was dying last night because we killed everyone in the grove and lae’zel was like yo I can smell your pussy, she kept talking about my “moisture”, go get fucked by minthara and report back and then literally the most pornographic sex scene ive seen in a crpg started playing.
Put that on the back of the damn box…baldurs gate eats pussy now
7 Likes
this is what I meant when i told you Lae’zel’s like Doña Yrena from the movie Walker
2 Likes
dj khaled refuses to play baldur’s gate 3 after hearing about what you do in the sex scenes
7 Likes
You are right, but regardless having the-grinch-cosplaying-as-cheryl-hines constantly growling about how much I stink and how bad she wants a taste (to be fair my duergar DOES look and act like he smells like a bog) is about my limit, as opposed to whatever weird shit Gale was doing giving me bedroom eyes and talking about “sharing his weave” as a pretense to getting in my platemail jorts.
Also talking about the explicit sex scenes (which are outrageous), my main complaint is what is the point of letting me pick my dick shape and giving it it’s own ragdoll physics if they aren’t going to show a boner during sex scenes.
5 Likes
dying at this
karlach is wife goals/life goals
1 Like
My characters dick flopped when minthara gave her head but she was still completely soft and for whatever reason this made me lmao so hard
3 Likes
also that kinda shit was exactly why I’ve been refusing to let boys in my party, it’s funny that ppl made fun of da2 and its playersexual npcs but this game is like a workplace sexual harassment simulator
Me when gale opens his mouth
5 Likes
lae’zel is on top of my power rankings in this game because she’s a horny little frog woman wth a greatsword, you can just leave her as a battlemaster and she’ll murk everything. githyanki do not exaggerate about their prowess in combat. also she likes everything i do which i was not expecting, and i was genuinely touched that she was going to kill everyone in the camp before we turned into mind flayers. Also at some point all the salamis in my inventory teleported into hers which made me laugh so fucking hard
shadowheart is fine and really likes me but i find her kind of annoying because she makes lots of sexual comments about me but was way too cowardly to shoot her shot and only does it when shes drunk now. However as a drow woman I give her a pass for being gay. Also lol at how much she calls selunites cavemen who bang rocks together and fuck themselves it’s so funny
i really like karlach but her weird anti-lying stance means she was getting mad at me all the time before she left my party permanently, and honestly my monk throws just as good as her anyway. a character i would like to have in my party in a less self-interested playthrough
I haven’t hung out with minthara enough but she’s a nutjob and a real sword shouldn’t swing itself type and beamed bondage sex into my brain to encourage me to enter the mental place of perfect killing, I am sure she will move up in my estimations in act 2
Astarion and gale are like reddit guys doing a bit all the time so they’re kill on sight. I wish I could tell you more about wyll but i don’t like when armed men storm into my camp at night either
3 Likes