I’m apparently just a giant ball of nerves right now, so I’m just going to keep venting about Stuff That Sucks in This Idiot World
Namely, the trend in internet movies writing where people see a movie that they are apparently so jazzed about that in their review they can’t bother to offer even the barest description of like, the genre or basic premise of the film, because “The less you know going into it the better.”
I absolutely hate this junk. Beyond just guaranteeing that the review itself is going to be the vaguest, limpest writing you can imagine (in spite of all that enthusiasm) the worst thing about it is it typically happens with smaller films that show at festivals, often don’t even have trailers yet, tend to only get released in VOD or in really limited runs. So the first thing you’ve read about a movie tells you absolutely nothing about it, other than the fact that this random idiot happened to like it so much he wants everyone to just drop everything and see it without even knowing what it is about.
I get that spoilers are irritating, but I also sort of hate being surprised by the genre or premise of a movie that I am watching? Like, the idea of a movie that changes genres radically and unexpectedly part way through is kind of interesting, but I highly doubt that this is the case with 90% of the films that get this treatment. I feel like it’s particularly rampant with horror movies, so at least in that case you can kind of bet that if someone doesn’t want to spoil even the barest detail of a film beyond the 1st act, it is going to be some kind of fucked up horror movie that no one should be watching anyway. But now when I see reviews that take this approach, I just assume that the movie is going to have like, horrific child murders or some other unspeakable thing in the 2nd act that aren’t foreshadowed at all in the first, hence the delightful surprise that a reviewer can’t bear to spoil, so I just keep my distance altogether.