Your Greatest Fear

[daphaknee]

I swear I’ll figure out how to draw one instead of opening up ms paint and staring but I gotta post my fears at least

fear of going to take money out of the atm, but not only am I broke the machine kills me by sucking me through the little slot

fear of having my dream realized of my body being shot out of a cannon into a wall and then a plate of glass placed over the wall preserving my gibbed body but they preserve me in such a way that a huge zit is visible on my ass

fear of an alarm clock that wakes me up by taking a picture of me and posting it to social media every minute until I get up, and all everyone is talking about online are my stupid sleep faces

fear of a pear of anguish that isn’t a cool pear of anguish at all it’s just a needle that pops out and severs my spine killing me instantly after I build up the courage to get anguished

fear of testicles for eyelids

fear of fingernails growing a foot a minute

fear of feeling every word I say as they come out of my throat, the louder I speak the larger the letters (comic sans font of course, probably al dente texture, like a 5x thick Al dente noodle for normal speaking tone). the letters are covered in hair or stubble

[extrabastardformula]

Closest I’ve had to a teeth falling out dream is a dream that I was told one of my teeth has a bomb in it and I have to pull out the right one or everybody dies, but they don’t give me pliers so I’m just tearing up the inside of my mouth with my fingernails and bleeding everywhere while there’s a big countdown and everyone is huddled around me crying.

[MintyJuffowup]

[Mikey]

Whenever I finish cooking meat, I put my meat thermometer on the counter (resting on the round gauge, pointy probe facing up). I clean it by hand and have to put it aside someplace where it won’t soil anything else.

I have to put it in the most out of the way place possible or I’ll slip or trip over my kid and in reaching out to steady myself on the kitchen counter, I’ll impale my hand

[Father.Torque]

I didn’t realize you were married to Aeris…

[MintyJuffowup]

Almost, but my wife would never be impaled by Sephiroth. She’s too careful. @SLUGGER can verify.

[Mothra]

The last panel of this destroyed me. A worse fate than the explosion by a country mile.

Gary and Daphny’s are I believe the most genuinely horrifying to date.

[Mothra]

big_green

Niku

[daphaknee]

oh my god ahhahaah