What Was Their Deal?

[Mothra]

This is a thread for asking the question that stays with you long after a game has left a midboss or side character in the rear view mirror. They were some fucking weird-ass idea the creator had, that they never got around to fleshing out or explaining, but wisely still included in the finished game. We may never know the whole story behind these characters, but we can imagine! We can extrapolate! We can find our own answers!

The purple sentient monster Ultros is perhaps the only talking monster in all of Final Fantasy VI.

Sure, there are espers, there are ancient dragons, but the monsters do not say shit. If they are sentient - which it kind of seems like they are - they are utterly uninterested in learning the language of the weak hairless apes that infest various colonies throughout the land. And why should they? What would they possibly have to gain? These are deranged parasites sucking magic out of people and storing it into smoke-spewing metal suits! Goblinoid behavior!

Yet Ultros not only speaks the language, he actively seeks to court and presumably bone any human female he can get his tentacles around. He doesn’t seem to care who! It is my belief he doesn’t actually intend to fuck anyone, he merely thinks you’re supposed to do this, for some reason. Why? Impossible to say.

He is notably BEST FRIENDS with an unimaginably horrific demon named Mr. Chupon, a creature straight from hell with a second fanged maw where his ass should be, capable only of saying

These two form arguably the strongest friendship in the game, sticking by each other through thick and thin. Through war, through rebellion, through the literal end of the world. They get square jobs together. This shit puts most of humanity as depicted in FF6 to shame. Even moogles and their yeti do not have this kind of strength of bond.

Why? What were they after?! Famously, the two show up in the middle of a vast areal human war, where the Imperial legions are clashing against the desperate run of the Blackjack toward the Floating Continent.

They do not know, nor are they interested to find out, what the fuck the humans are doing up here, they just decide to join in and fight y’all specifically. Is this a form of play? Are they trying to kill you with murderous intent? Do they want something?

What was their deal??

[SUPERSONNICK]

oohhh good one:

Armored Core: For Answer:
I’ve often wondered what could possibly be the deal for the narrator of this mission

Armored Core: For Answer - All Cutscenes Compilation

(‘Defeat the Spirit of Motherwill’, minute 14’25, should be timestamped)

to feel the need to diss a competitors product in a briefing for taking it down — some ex’es grudge, didn’t land a job there, or is it just engineer’s hubris at display?

It is arguably the most significant mission in the game (and made it somewhat famous), even would go so far to call it a personal fav of mine - yet that dude gotta dunk on it for no apparent reason!
Anyway, that sentence

but that kind of sloppy work is expected of them

stuck with me ever since, and a wonderful example of where i am indeed going:

WHAT WAS HIS DEAL

every now and then.

[LaurelSoup]

FFVI’s Ziegfried/Siegfried thing and the whole question of who’s the impersonator or is that a cover story or what.

[bib]

it has been [0] days since mothra’s last chupon post

[RT-55J]

@Mothra

the is the first time that i’ve noticed that chupon’s butt-side face is plainly visible on his out-of-battle sprite

[Mothra]

Here are my theories. Here is what the hypothetical fanfic would establish for these beasts:

Ultros & Mr. Chupon

“I’ve got more lives than I do arms!” - Ultros

Ultros can talk and cast Haste, Protect, Stone, Magnitude 8, Aqua Breath, Firaga, Blizzaga, Thundaga. We know from our time at the Magitek Research Facility that the Empire has successfully infused soldiers with magic, though these early experiments caused them to go insane (thus, Kefka).

Ultros was for sure some basic-bitch river monster that the Empire fished out, stuck in a tube, and flooded with magic to become something akin to what they’d later achieve with Number 024 and Number 128. Let’s say he’s Number 001, if that wasn’t already Kefka. Since Terra has been in and around that Vector facility since she was a baby, he’s definitely seen her at some point. This and being around the meatheaded soldiers day in and day out steeped him in a miasma of toxic masculinity of years, resulting in an octopus who knows you’re supposed to claim women but also not knowing what to do with them once you’ve done that. Presumably he learned the language to not go insane.

Mr. Chupon seems to have been two different monsters the Empire fused together in an attempt to make another Number 128. It worked, and he’s conditioned to listen to people. Since Ultros can talk, Chupon’s sort of primed to listen to him. He’s stuck with the octopus ever since.

Ziegfried

This jagoff was definitely Gogo, in the Before Times, before the World of Ruin. Their entire thing is that they mimic people. They also suck real bad when you initially fight them, unlike the real Siegfried in the Coliseum, who presumably is a badass.

I’m going to say Gogo/Ziegfried’s also Lone Wolf the Pickpocket, because there’s no other sentient werewolves in this game, and Lone Wolf also sucks complete ass at what he does. I think the person Gogo was realized they were Bad At Crime, but amazing at mimicry. Thus, you find them having focused on that over the other thing after being vored by that hellbeast.

Just a bloke who wanted to be anybody but who they were…

[Mothra]

The Emotion Engine (@emotion-engine.bsky.social)

Absolutely out of nowhere, after forging your way through the visually stunning Chronopolis and learning of FATE’s silent hand, you are faced with the actual hardest boss in Chrono Cross: MIGUEL

He is A FRIEND OF YOUR DAD’S, and the father of your hometown sweetie Leena. You have never met this dude in your life.

He explains that one time he and your dad were exploring the insanely dangerous jungle around your village when your dad was bitten by a PANTHER DEMON (very plausible in this world tbqh) (this demon looks like a regular panther). He then goes with your dad on a new quest to get a cure. They get blown off course and end up in Chronopolis. I’d consider it a bit of a plot hole that they survive the myriad of horrible creatures that infest the realm but you soon learn that Miguel is fucking unbelievably powerful. He is stonger than Magus. He is stronger than Larvos. He sure has hell is stronger than you.

He finds the Frozen Flame, and your dad escapes with it while Miguel is imprisioned in this realm for a decade. Your dad never really mentions this nor does anything about it. The FATE supercomputer then uses him (?) to guard the Frozen Flame of the OTHER universe, where he remains until his best friend’s son arrives to take it, at which point he chooses to absolutely wipe the floor with your entire party.

WHY, BRO?

What was his deal??

[SUPERSONNICK]

tbh, as someone who has a special place in his heart for CC, i … honestly … have no recollection of that dude and his dorky hat.

either i missed that bit or it was too forgettable for me … so the real question must be:

What is the deal with me?

[Mothra]

I’ll also defend Chrono Cross from the womb to the tomb. An absolutely gorgeous game with a lot of touching moments and extremely unique places to explore.

Also extremely weird! I’m very glad Miguel is in this game and that he’s such an impossibly strong ball-buster! The game would be worse off without him.

Does still beg the question: Why the absolute fuck is this guy the boss here and not, I dunno, your actual father, or something related to FATE, or even someone you’ve heard of or encountered before that point?

[SUPERSONNICK]

Well I mean, this game is the feeling of an endless summer vacation condensed into a game, so by any means it deserves an unusual boss that is not actually God herself, the keeper of time or whatever else games usually throw at the player.

If there’s one game that feels like it belongs in the SEGA cosmos, it’s CC!
And i love it for that. So much so that i do not want a modern remaster that misses to capture the essence of what made it great.

So … with that said …

WHAT’S THE DEAL WITH MIGUEL, NOW I WONDER THAT AS WELL!

[Tuxedo]

I’m wondering what’s the deal with like half the cast in Suikoden games TBH

I’ve had an obsession for a while with mysterious JRPG bosses who come out of nowhere, say one cheesy line, fight and die

Like

Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia - Blackmore

Or

[sleepysmiles]

Belome

Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars Boss - Belome

quoting myself elsewhere:

@sleepysmiles

i love that he comes out of nowhere TWICE and it’s a non sequitur surprise both times and you don’t really defeat him either time. Belome is just some immortal sewer dog demon who decided to fuck with Mario for no reason

it’s weird enough when he attacks you in the sewers but then later you find yourself in a temple devoted to him??
it comes out near Monstro Town so presumably they worship him… Belome is some kinda eldritch god who lives beneath the Mushroom Kingdom, and he either turns you into a scarecrow or just eats ya

also i usually pronounce his name “be-loam” (he lies below-m) but it just occured to me “bellamy” also works (it’s like belly! he eats ya!) and i like how cute it sounds lol

[Father.Torque]

I always said it like Salome…

[daphaknee]

MTV vj bill belome

[schroeder]

He lives in a cave where you can have your fortune told, and he eats people: Belome is the Python of Delphi. Because his temple is in Monstro Town, he gets to also be the Oracle.