videogame things you think about a lot lot lot lot

Spacetime!

OK, thinking of some open world games there, specifically prompted by old ones from the late 80s/early 90s but likely relevant for many others.

Like, Midwinter takes place on a 160,000 square miles island. But also time is compressed to a rate of 1 hour per minute. Is the island actually physically smaller in-game, to account for a town that should be half a day away being half an in-game day away? I know that it kinda is in the Midwinter games, but do the numbers line up? What about other games? In Sea of Thieves (same time compression ratio) descriptions in the novel suggest the in-game islands and towns are symbolic representations of much bigger in-fiction places (although the ships aren’t! They canonically use custom-made mini-galleons that can be crewed by four people because bigger ships are crushed by the local pocket universe).

Games that likely don’t matter for this are Daggerfall, Elite 2 and later, sort of Kerbal (speeds and distances are accurate but it takes place in a fictional solar system where every planet is smaller than our equivalents) but they all use time compression/skip to make travel times reasonable. Also Flight Simulator.

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I’m what you could call a collector of bootleg Pokémon games. Pokémon Diamond & Jade, Chaos Black, etc. It’s amazing the frequency with which you can find them at pawnshops, Goodwill, flea markets, and such.

They’re generally fun; even if they are unplayable (which they often are), the mistranslations and poor quality make them unintentionally humorous.

I’ve been able to find most of the ones that I’ve played online, but there’s one that I haven’t seen any mention of. I bought it at a flea market about five years ago.

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Here’s a picture of the cartridge, in case anyone recognizes it. Unfortunately, when I moved two years ago, I lost the game, so I can’t provide you with screencaps. Sorry.

The game started with the familiar Nidorino and Gengar intro of Red and Blue version. However, the “press start” screen had been altered. Red was there, but the Pokémon did not cycle through. It also said “Black Version” under the Pokémon logo.

Upon selecting “New Game”, the game started the Professor Oak speech, and it quickly became evident that the game was essentially Pokémon Red Version.

After selecting your starter, if you looked at your Pokémon, you had in addition to Bulbasaur, Charmander, or Squirtle another Pokémon — “GHOST”.

The Pokémon was level 1. It had the sprite of the Ghosts that are encountered in Lavender Tower before obtaining the Sliph Scope. It had one attack — “Curse”. I know that there is a real move named Curse, but the attack did not exist in Generation 1, so it appears it was hacked in.

Defending Pokémon were unable to attack Ghost — it would only say they were too scared to move. When the move “Curse” was used in battle, the screen would cut to black. The cry of the defending Pokémon would be heard, but it was distorted, played at a much lower pitch than normal. The battle screen would then reappear, and the defending Pokémon would be gone. If used in a battle against a trainer, when the Pokéballs representing their Pokemon would appear in the corner, they would have one fewer Pokéball.

The implication was that the Pokémon died.

What’s even stranger is that after defeating a trainer and seeing “Red received $200 for winning!”, the battle commands would appear again. If you selected “Run”, the battle would end as it normally does. You could also select Curse. If you did, upon returning to the overworld, the trainer’s sprite would be gone. After leaving and reentering the area, the spot the trainer had been would be replaced with a tombstone like the ones at Lavender Tower.

The move “Curse” was not usable in all instances. It would fail against Ghost Pokémon. It would also fail if it was used against trainers that you would have to face again, such as your Rival or Giovanni. It was usable in your final battle against them, however.

I figured this was the gimmick of the game, allowing you to use the previously uncapturable Ghosts. And because Curse made the game so easy, I essentially used it throughout the whole adventure.

The game changed quite a bit after defeating the Elite Four. After viewing the Hall of Fame, which consisted of Ghost and a couple of Pokemon I used for HM`s, the screen cut to black. A box appeared with the words “Many years later…” It then cut to Lavender Tower. An old man was standing, looking at tombstones. You then realized this man was your character.

The man moved at only half of your normal walking speed. You no longer had any Pokémon with you, not even Ghost, who up to this point had been impossible to remove from your party through depositing in the PC. The overworld was entirely empty — there were no people at all. There were still the tombstones of the trainers that you used Curse on, however.

You could go pretty much anywhere in the overworld at this point, though your movement was limited by the fact that you had no Pokémon to use HMs. And regardless of where you went, the music of Lavender Town continued on an infinite loop. After wandering for a while, I found that if you go through Diglett’s Cave, one of the cuttable bushes that normally blocks the path on the other side is no longer there, allowing you to advance and return to Pallet Town.

Upon entering your house and going to the exact tile where you start the game, the screen would cut to black.

Then a sprite of a Caterpie appeared. It was the replaced by a Weedle, and then a Pidgey. I soon realized, as the Pokémon progressed from Rattata to Blastoise, that these were all of the Pokémon that I had used Curse on.

After the end of my Rival’s team, a Youngster appeared, and then a Bug Catcher. These were the trainers I had Cursed.

Throughout the sequence, the Lavender Town music was playing, but it was slowly decreasing in pitch. By the time your Rival appeared on screen, it was little more than a demonic rumble.

Another cut to black. A few moments later, the battle screen suddenly appeared — your trainer sprite was now that of an old man, the same one as the one who teaches you how to catch Pokémon in Viridian City.

Ghost appeared on the other side, along with the words “GHOST wants to fight!”.

You couldn’t use items, and you had no Pokémon. If you tried to run, you couldn’t escape. The only option was “FIGHT”.

Using fight would immediately cause you to use Struggle, which didn’t affect Ghost but did chip off a bit of your own HP. When it was Ghost’s turn to attack, it would simply say “…” Eventually, when your HP reached a critical point, Ghost would finally use Curse.

The screen cut to black a final time.

Regardless of the buttons you pressed, you were permanently stuck in this black screen. At this point, the only thing you could do was turn the Game Boy off. When you played again, “NEW GAME” was the only option — the game had erased the file.

I played through this hacked game many, many times, and every time the game ended with this sequence. Several times I didn’t use Ghost at all, though he was impossible to remove from the party. In these cases, it did not show any Pokémon or trainers and simply cut to the climactic battle with Ghost.

I’m not sure what the motives were behind the creator of this hack. It wasn’t widely distributed, so it was presumably not for monetary gain. It was very well done for a bootleg.

It seems he was trying to convey a message; though it seems I am the sole receiver of this message. I’m not entirely sure what it was — the inevitability of death? The pointlessness of it? Perhaps he was simply trying to morbidly inject death and darkness into a children’s game. Regardless, this children’s game has made me think, and it has made me cry.

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I suspect Arcanum’s open world travel exactly matches the time compressed map travel for how long it takes, but I’ve never tested it out. Maybe I should with a couple of areas that are very near to each other.

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I also remember the Ultima Ratio Regum dev had a long blog post on calculating accurate travel time on a dual scale procedural map where the smaller scale is only generated on demand, which is important in a game where you might have to tail NPCs across the whole world.

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This sounds like a 2006 Tim Rogers fever dream. This is NGJ distilled

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It’s a creepypasta from around 2009 or 10, so you’re not far off

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somebody turned it into an actual romhack a couple years back:

https://www.romhacking.net/hacks/4577/

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I saw Tim Rogers at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”

I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

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that’s funny because I was pretty sure I saw him at the Huntington yesterday while walking around with my mother in law after not thinking about him in years. I guess it probably was him

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i’d love to know how typical this is of the man in 202X

it’s an old copypasta

https://www.reddit.com/r/OutOfTheLoop/comments/4c39j0/where_did_the_i_met_celebrity_in_a_grocery_store/?share_id=iffCrWe9ubIJdHMyUvpSs&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1

though i could believe Tim would do that lol. tho it’s more likely he’d just talk to you about his sunglasses and having a migraine for a very long time

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The one time I actually met Tim Rogers was at a GDC and he liked my business card, it might have been the same year he was filming Get Bonus The Movie. anyway

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Wait, Tim is a real person!?

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No, also a creepypasta from the 00s

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Phew

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Glad to know that he’s as insufferable as he sounds, I find him to be super grating and annoying even tho I enjoy his use of words

Had the pleasure of meeting Tim at a charity do once. He was surprisingly down to earth, and VERY funny.

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Because of all this i think i dreamed about Tim last night but all he was doing was talking in a weird deep voice and his hair was growing unnaturally fast.

I think my subconscious isn’t very good at coming up with good Tim creepypastas

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2:55

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(You can put the the time in like this so the embedded player starts right there

https://youtu.be/HqQq8kb1Vag?t=175

)

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