i havent had enough confidence in my projects to fully commit to any of them, though i definitely have people to rope in if that ever happens. i’ve come close to doing this a couple times.
aw jeez, it’s not that bad
there are a lot of misconceptions about informatics imo. it’s like if comp sci was about making cool shit instead of gathering gradually more esoteric knowledge
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yeah, I get it. I’m uninterested in literal computer science and engineering to the point where it’s almost comical. if I’d had more foresight as an undergrad and hadn’t just been trying to avoid getting a CS degree while basically coming as close as I could, I’d probably have wound up on the same route, but grad school is also one of the easiest ways to immigrate to canada, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
pick smaller and smaller projects, then
weekend game jams are a great way to ease into this sort of thing; necessity forces compromise forces solutions, and if it’s good you’ll know fast, and then you can dive in if you’re all happy
i’ve thought pretty hard about moving to vancouver after graduating, btw. i have nothing tying me down here except good friends. i might be able to get in with a ritual offering of my french canadian blood
but that shit is three years away so ehh. i mostly just want to move somewhere nice and affordable where i don’t feel under constant threat when i go outside
Some day I’ll actually lock myself in my room for a weekend and finish a Jam game, maybe, possibly, I dunno
yeah this is solid advice. i just need to convert the hours i spend lying in bed with capital-D Depression into work hours and then i can get the ball rolling on this again
I know the feeling, especially when I open up a project and I remember I stopped because I was at a part I didn’t like and every time I open it and fail to move forward I attach more negative feelings to it and I eventually don’t want to.
The most effective solutions I’ve found are:
- Have other people rely on me (I can let myself down a lot easier than those I respect)
- Pick shorter deliverables
- Show it off more often – though I have to struggle with this all the time against my perfectionism
Do jams with friends, by the way. It’s a lot easier to push late into the night and a lot more jokes get told. Mix media – we did a film jam this summer and I got to stretch my scriptwriting, editing, and knowledge of early 20th century labor politics. I learned how to read an audience as they watched a movie and how it differs from watching playtesters. And it was pretty fun~~
I know I need to insert myself like a social parasite on a buddy; I just missed a few PAX parties I was looking forward to because I didn’t have anyone to go with and the closer the event got the more I worried about the moment of walking through the door; compared to my warm home it didn’t seem appealing, and I reasoned, I can strengthen connections (yeah, the ugly networking, but with indies it’s cool folks) later…
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vancouver seems exponentially more hostile to move to every year such that I’m really glad I came when I did but couldn’t necessarily recommend it to anyone coming here now, but people keep moving here so I think that’s probably just a grass-is-greener thing writ large
toronto isn’t as paradoxically small and expensive, though it is still very expensive and peculiarly provincial, and I prefer the northwest either way
america isn’t so bad unless it makes you frustrated all of the time
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I also find it easier to work on personal projects when I’m busy. Being unemployed should have let me finish all my half-done stubs but instead I cleared Witcher 3.
Now that we’re in crunch at my studio I’m motivated to work on my game on the bus and on weekends, to keep up the pace.
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oh huh, i always assumed that was a “me” thing. yeah, momentum is critical for me too. as it is right now, most days managing to feed myself is an accomplishment. but when i was in full crunch time i was really productive with everything else too. it wasn’t healthy but it was a thing
I know the feeling. The biggest thing to turn my life around (warning: this is not very broad advice) was getting into a long-term relationship; I had a consistent target to impress and motivation to do so. That pushed me to finishing my community college languishing, getting into a challenging school, an environment that pushed me harder, meeting people I looked up to, etc, etc.
I actually give myself leeway the more I know people (because I start to see and forgive their faults, so I assume they do the same to me) so it’s beneficial to change often enough that I want to impress new people.
ah yup i was trying pretty hard to relationship in the last couple months, but i’m pretty sure i’m just going through my Having Sex With Everyone phase
second puberty hasn’t stopped getting weirder ~,~
Yeah, you probably can’t force it but keep placing yourself ready to find it and hone your sense of what’s realistic to expect of another person
desert
hams
blood from the earth
hog
you mean oil?
sometimes!
my egg-shen-fu fails me
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if you are interested in canada but scared by the expenses associated with coastal sophistication, move to edmonton, canada’s most OK city and definitely at least the second best city in Alberta
Personal recommendation: stay away from Seroquel. Abilify and Wellbutrin together are great for mood and focus/getting things done
Mostly if you are bipolar but it’s used in major depressive disorder too