The contractually obligated Dear Esther post

[falsedan]

Introduction

Mikey generously gave me a Steam key for Dear Esther, which I’ve wanted to play since the stand-alone release by The Chinese Room was mentioned on The Witness’s news page. I never played Dan Pinchbeck’s original mod nor read any reviews of it, so all I knew going in was that it was: a. on an island; b. with flowers. I’m going to write a short analysis of the game as I experienced it, and will cover the story, the island, and the themes I noticed in the chapters.

I thought the game was effective, that it it generated enough emotional load for the climax to work, and it was short and understandable & not so simple that the player could grasp its idea in its totality and ruin the magic. I do kind of wish I had played the game I imagined it to be: a blue-skies island-walking flower-admiring simulation.

What is the name for when you have a limited understanding of a game and try to imagine what it is like?

Story

The plot is revealed as narrated quotes, which play as you travel around the island. They tell a story of Esther and the narrator being in a car crash on the M5 between Exeter and Bristol near the Sandford exit. The other vehicle was driven by Paul, a chemist traveling from Exeter to Wolverhampton. The narrator is grief-stricken. He imagines visiting an island in the outer Hebrides, based on the descriptions of a book authored by Donnelly (who visited the island in the 1800s). You walk the island as he tries to resolve his grief.

My interpretation is based on the quotes I encountered; the game has 4 possible quotes to choose from whenever you hear one, making it impossible to experience a ‘canonical’ storyline. Each playthrough will encounter a different sequence of quotes, perhaps guiding the player to a slightly (or wildly) different interpretation of the plot. You can read the complete set of all quotes on the creator’s website (including occasional translation notes).

In my playthrough, the plot was contradictory, inconsistent, and confused. The narrator regularly mixed together past and future events, and at various times spoke as if they were Esther’s partner, the author Donnelly, Jakobson (a shepherd who was the original inhabitant of the island), or Paul. I saw a few references to Donnelly’s syphilis-induced madness, leading me to think the narrator’s mental state might have been be impaired from the accident, or had some impairment which caused the accident.

The story has been designed to be hard to analyse, so I won’t try it. I would like to recognise the extremely effective language of some of the quotes; the opening quote included precipice, plummet, fall and played as I first saw the tower, priming me for the finale of the game & setting my expectation that I would climb the beacon tower and jump from it.

The island

aka gameplay

The island looks good and is well laid out; Pinchbeck previously was an environmental artist on Mirror’s Edge. It looks like what I remember of Scotland, except not quite windy enough.
There are repeated tricks which work well:

• The path will lead the player to a cul-de-sac to see some visual effect or hear a plot snippet. When the player is finished examining the dead-end and turns about, they can plainly see the path continuing onwards. These also occasionally function as in-game representations of ‘turning points’ of the narrator mental state, and the story.
• Narrow spaces will alternate with wide spaces, which enhances the open- or closeness of the environment (like the soft-loud of a Pixies song)

• Following the path in the standard fashion (walking forward, eye front) will clearly show the player their next immediate destination (or the beacon; here, it’s the glowing red light)
• Prevent the player from accidentally backtracking with one-way drops.

Chapters

The game is divided into four parts, which roughly are: introduction, development, climax, anticlimax. There are some themes which I noticed in the chapters, which I will write about briefly in the next few posts.

Theme

The narrator is consumed with sorrow and guilt at what happened to Esther, and the game expresses this with symbols from & direct references to Christian traditions. I’m not very versed in the different sects, but I feel, by the absence of the stereotypical Catholic symbols, that the narrator’s penitence is driven by Anglican influences.

[falsedan]

The Lighthouse

Introduction

The first part starts on a pier outside of a ruined lighthouse. There is no boat at the pier. The weather is gloomy and overcast, with a strong wind causing the low clouds to rapidly move across the sky.
The introduction includes references to all the elements of the story: the diagram of the alcohol which contributed to the crash, car parts from the crash on the rocky shore

Barring two small detours (deadends; the beach and the small cave) + the open area of the standing stones, the paths in this areas are completely linear.

The lighthouse building is mostly unnavigable. In the base of the tower is the first phosphorescent chemical diagram, showing alcohol. There are further diagrams in the hermit’s cave, which include elements of nerve cells. Here they signify the cause of the narrator’s anguish, and that of Donnelly before him (driven mad by syphilis).

There are two caves: one small in the starting hillside which overlooks the entrance of the other; which is in a cove, quite large, and with phosphorescent chemical diagrams on the walls.

The small cave is one of the dead-end branches from the linear path. It allows the player to peek forward to the cove, and primes them to set their own goal (“I’ll get to that cove and explore that cave”).

This directly helps to hide how linear the path is! Careful concealment and revealing of the path lets the player think they are exploring freely when they literally have no choice but to proceed exactly along the path Pinchbeck has designed.

As you walk along the path above the beach, you see the beacon getting closer and closer until the path turns inland, through a narrow, steep inlet. The path has climbed significantly up the hill next to the beach, so the player knows it will be tedious to climb back up if they descend to the inlet & explore; also, the standing stone are visible ahead. These draw the player forward, along the path, which then turns again to hug the hill and descend slowly to the cove.

There is a single shipwreck in the cove near the hermit’s cave. There are no ships in good working order on the island; the message is, no one ever leaves.

A bedroll is present in the hermit’s cave; there was some human presence on the island recently (perhaps the narrator’s resting places).

Entering the water causes confusing sounds and partial fading images to rapidly appear over a black screen. Within 10 seconds, if you do not return to land, the narrator whispers ‘Come back…’ and you respawn on the shore. Here the water represents death and cleansing, which the narrator is not yet ready for.

Birds will occasionally appear (including one from the lighthouse’s bathroom) and fly towards the beacon. They represent freedom & highlight the ultimate objective.

The beacon is partially visible through the low clouds. The flash of its red warning signal is clearly visible. Red signifies passion and anger, blood, and the stop signal of a traffic light.

The path continues up to the open area of the standing stones, which I found challenging to intepret. They have chemical diagrams, but with some carbons replaced with אכּ (aleph-kaf). I’m not much of a Hebrew scholar, so I can’t offer any insight. Standing stones on a Hebridean island must be Norse, but I don’t see any connection to the overall theme of destructive rebirth to escape guilt. The stones are in a circle, so this may be a fairy circle? Again, the connotations of the fey doesn’t match up with escape and guilt (power and trickery, perhaps).

Even the book at the base is a challenge! It’s thick, with a dark binding, and appears to be a bible, with a Jerusalem cross on the cover.

The chapter ends with a short one-way drop after the standing stones, triggering a loading screen.

[falsedan]

The Buoy

Development

The second chapter starts overlooking a small bay. Above the bay is a hill, on top of which is a bothy (a small structure to shelter from the Scottish weather). On the other side of the hill is a path down to a beach & the cave of the next chapter. The weather is still overcast, and the sunlight is pinker as evening approaches.

The areas are open and the player does not have to follow any set path to explore them, until they reach the beach leading to the caves.

The water is still deadly, as in the Lighthouse chapter.

There’s a buoy in the bay, blinking with a green light. Both lighthouses and buoys are nautical warning devices, alerting ships to hazards. Green is the complement to red, and symbolises the safety of the narrator giving up on their goal & quitting the island.

The bay has two wrecked ships, a yacht and a trawler. Confusingly, the trawler has a lot of shipping containers around it, despite not being suitable for transporting cargo.

The shipping containers are holding medical equipment, including defibrillators. This refers to the medical attention Esther must have received after the car crash.

Climbing from the bay to the bothy, I found a stone circle with an audio sample which sounds like heavily-distorted medical chatter. It was creepy as hell!

There’s a deep black shaft in the hill, which presumably is the top of the pool seen in the next chapter. Jumping in triggers a “Come back…” respawn.

Jakobsen’s bothy is on the crest of the hill. Houses on tops of hills catch all the wind, blowing good energy out and bad moods in (thanks, 90’s feng shui books).

One of the rooms in the bothy has bedding, and appears more lived-in than the hermit’s cave.

The phosphorescent diagrams now also include electronic symbols; here are some diodes.

The path from the hill to the caves passes through the ribs of the wreck of a sailing ship. The mast is still raised, and makes a crucifix against the dusk sky. Unlike the crucifixion, the narrator is going into the cave before sacrificing his life.

The radio tower is above caves entrance, keeping the long-term objective clear to the player.

The rocky inlet by the entrance to the cave has some suitcases of personal effects + many copies of Donnelly’s book, Hebridean History. This is a reference to Samuel Johnson’s A Journey to the Western Islands of Scotland! The dumping represents the narrator shunning the rational thought processes that would prevent him from achieving his goal.

These props were absent on my next playthough.

The cave entrance has a lit candle on a rock. These candles are repeated in the next two chapters; they allude to ceremonial candles lit to memorialise the death of a loved one.

The chapter ends with a long drop into the deep caves.

[falsedan]

The Caves

Climax

The third part takes place completely underground. The player’s torch has stopped working, but the caves are illuminated by enough light-sources for the player to navigate.

By now, the narrator probably has proposed the idea that the island is his body; thus, by descending into the caves, the narrator is performing a deep introspection. The diagrams in this part include fewer chemical symbols (from Paul, the chemist), and more electronic symbols.

Coming back to this, I also see a clear classical reference Orpheus descending into the underworld, futily seeking to bargain with Hades and return with Eurydice.

The caves are almost completely linear (barring the underground river).

Parts of the caves are lit by a blue glow, from crystals. The colour blue may refer to water, which represents cleansing.

Parts of the caves are lit by a green glow, from some phosphorescent fungus or lichen. The colour is the same green as the diagrams. The spotty appearance of the fungus combines with the colour to signify sickness (a mental or spiritual sickness), which is reinforced by the increasingly confused diagrams in this chapter.

There are a number of lit candles at a shrine to Esther in a grotto, which cast a red light. This evokes the same feelings as the red of the radio tower’s light (passion and anger, blood).

The diagrams feature mostly electronic symbols and little to no confusion (with one exception, mentioned later). Here’s a transformer.

The water in this part can be entered and explored. The narrator is ready to be cleansed to resolve the grief stemming from Esther’s death. This is another Christian symbol, of the baptismal waters washing away past sins.

The caves gently trains the player to be comfortable in water, putting it alongside the path at the beginning of this chapter, then forcing the player to jump into deep water, then leading them to dive & spend longer and longer periods underwater.

In the area with the underground river, I found a nest with broken eggs. Eggs symbolise new life & rebirth, so the broken eggs show that Esther’s life will not return. Related to the next image, eggs are also where baby birds come from.

Nearby to the eggs I found an image of a sonogram, indicating that Esther had been pregnant. I didn’t see it on my following playthrough.

The tunnel leading up to the climax is completely covered in phosphorescent symbols, confused beyond recognition.

However, clearly legible is Isaiah 17:1: Behold, Damascus is taken away from being a city, and it shall be a ruinous heap. Here, the surface reading is that the Damascus represents the narrator, the city his mental state soon to be taken away by an impending nervous breakdown, and the ruinous heap his suicide by way of leaping from the beacon.

After passing through the tunnel, the player faces a deep, dark pool they must dive into, to face the final scene of this chapter.

The climax of the game is a recreation of the crash site. Despite being completely underwater, there is no time limit for exploring this area. There’s no signposting to indicate how to proceed; the player has to swim sufficiently far away from the site in any direction to trigger the transition back to the caves.

After exiting the water, the chapter ends by ascending a tunnel filled with light.

[falsedan]

The Beacon

Anticlimax

The last part starts in a cave, continues along the shore, then ascends the hill to the radio tower. It is night.

This path in this part takes the player through open areas of beach, then a linear trail to the beacon.

Candles are used to guide the player along the path. These are the same ceremonial candles used in the last two chapters.

The starting area has a tent, showing that someone else recently passed through here. This helped prime me to see the ghost later.

The full moon has risen over the sea. The moon is a symbol of madness, and also of cycle & rebirth.

The water is back to being deadly, as in the Lighthouse + Buoy chapters.

There are more nests in this area, symbolising the impending rebirth of the narrator. Eggs also signify birds btw.

The small caves in the cliffs house many candle-lit shrines. There are shrines to the wreckage of the cars from the crash, to photos of Esther, & the medical equipment used to try to save her.

The path stops at a flat beach. 21 paper boats float in the water, representing the quotes the narrator has been saying. This place is a literal turning point, since the path continues up along the cliff above the beach the player just traversed.

The flat beach has a small boat ramp & shelter. Inside the shelter is a nest & the second part of Acts 9:3. This is the beginning of the story of Saul’s conversion to Christianity & his reimaging into the Apostle Paul. The symbolism is twofold: the narrator, like Paul, is going to Damascus and will be converted into someone without grief (by way of ‘falling to the ground’); and that the narrator is Paul, about to experience the grace of God & have the scales fall from his eyes & be saved.

The diagrams have a random mish-mash of chemical, electronic, and Hebrew symbols.

I spied a humanoid figure atop a cliff. As I approached the cliff top, I could spy the ghost, but the path went through a gully and the ghost had disappeared when I arrived at the top. Leaping from the top results in another ‘Come back…’ screen.

A single candle casts a huge red glow on cliff path. It is the last candle. It again represents the narrator’s passion & anger, which is left behind as he ascends to transform himself.

More of Acts 9 is painted on the cliffs, as well as some of Acts 22, which is the same story, except as narrated by Paul in the first person (compared to Acts 9, written in the third person).

The path ends at a chain-link fence. The player loses control as the in-game avatar climbs the ladder of the tower, and leaps off. The camera soars around the island before finally fading to black.

[Mikey]

Have you played many other games in the “walking simulator” vein, @falsedan? If so I’m curious how you think this one stacks up to them. I have more to say but I’m on my way out the door right now so it’ll have to wait until tonight

[falsedan]

I can’t think of any, I got bored of HL2 after 40 min when it came out & didn’t play any FPSes that weren’t shoot kill man.

I replayed Dear Esther to retake the worst screenshots and the level design really is quite spectacular (to compare it to itself from a few weeks ago).

[Sykel]

good post, i appreciate the game more after reading this. I have to admit though, I had a really hard time appreciating the game due to the dialogue which i thought was just awful and hamfisted. especially with constantly using car crash metaphors. I’d probably like it a lot more without it.

[Father.Torque]

I don’t know whether Dear Esther was actually the first “walking simulator” (meant in the first-person, puzzle-less, heavily story-driven sense) but it definitely was the first famous one. I think it’s notable for being first, and was a good effort in that regard. But I can’t think of any reason I’d want to replay it instead of replaying Gone Home.

[Mikey]

@Father.Torque

But I can’t think of any reason I’d want to replay it instead of replaying Gone Home.

I’m not sure I would want to replay either, honestly. I think at this point Firewatch might be the first of its kind that I really want to revisit

[Iacus]

They all basically follow the same pattern, with Gone Home being the more static of the three, and Firewatch The more open and reactive.

Not saying that one approach is more valid than another. Also, Firewatch and Gone Home take place in the same parallel universe

I don´t know why Half-Life 2 was even mentioned in relation to “walking simulators”, but if it has anything in common with them is that neither are really conducive to playing more than once.

Anyway, good essay. I think I would’ve appreciated Dear Esther more if I knew how to recognize an alcohol molecule by its diagram. Helps with the little details like that

[Rudie]

Thanks for these posts!

[falsedan]

@Iacus

I don´t know why Half-Life 2 was even mentioned in relation to “walking simulators”

Since Dear Esther was an early one and started as a HL2 mod, it kind of is a boundary for those kinds of games. Plus, my first encounter with HL2 was an in-store unit where the previous player had cleared out all the enemies in the level, so I just wandered around being confused that such a linear level design could be so unclear at indicating to the player which way they should be going.

[Brooks]

The best walking sim is Journey I think

[falsedan]

@Father.Torque

But I can’t think of any reason I’d want to replay it instead of replaying Gone Home.

Here are some reasons to replay DE:

• it’s short (like 40–50 minutes)
• it looks nice so you can try taking better screenshots than me
• you might see something you didn’t see on your last playthrough

Here’s reasons not to:

• the experience is text-heavy and better suited to analysis by reading the collection of letters
• it’s depressing
• the experience is fully-realised on the first playthrough so you’re unlikely to get anything more out of it
• it’s not that short

[Iacus]

No doubt

[Mikey]

@Brooks

The best walking sim is Journey I think

Yeah I guess you’re right. And I’ve even played it more than once!

[falsedan]

Bonus Interpretation

So when I started playing through, I posted some screenshots and preliminary commentary as I went in the Axe. Some of the commentary was low-brow and juvenile, but in hindsight I feel like it is a valid (if short) interpretation!

When you enter the Lighthouse, you see… a toilet. Curiously, it has neither a visible cistern nor any possible plumbing to drain waste away (the Lighthouse is built at the shore), or any possible waste treatment. Completely impractical, it is obviously a symbol.

Later, at the end of the Buoy chapter, to enter the caves you must leap down this constricted hole. It looks similar to some openings in the human gastro-intestinal tract, which control the passage of food by relaxing sphincter muscles to allow matter to pass.

Lastly, I randomly encountered this quote. The stones refers back to another quote about the narrator’s kidney stones.

Together, I interpret these to mean that the narrator seeks to be transformed in a very physical and biological sense, by being swallowed by the island (which is also his body), digested, and then excreted to fall to the ground as waste.