We are doing it again! A 24 hour fundraising telethon! Hell, we may even go longer than that! It all depends on how long our journey takes! Cuz @miffy and I will be driving from our home in New York all the way to Las Vegas, NV and we are going to stream every living second of it in order to raise money for legitimate charity. And we all know what I mean by that, right? Legitimate charity?
Yeah I bet you do. You know I’m always begging. You know I’m a real lowlife. You know you love me – !
We are planning on making many stops along the way. I will not spoil them just yet. Mainly cuz I haven’t finalized our itinerary. But lemme tell ya: they’ll all definitely be located someplace in America, and many of them will involve the late, great Jerry Lewis, who spent over 40 Labor Days raising big money for some charity I don’t care about cuz it doesn’t help me any. Yeah I used to be a big fat man with a big fat heart but things changed ever since I started this. Things changed once those speedrun.com fucks refused to acknowledge my Batman For ZX Spectrum: The Remake for Windows PC speedrun record. Now I don’t give a shit about speedruns or helping other people. I just care about me, my woman, and the road . . .
And you, sweetest reader. I guess I care about you too. So please become a viewer by tuning into https://twitch.tv/bachelorsoft starting 2025-08-31T22:00:00Z until whenever the heck we get to Vegas. Or run out of gas. We actually don’t have any money for gas. We also don’t have a car. This is going to be a real challenge, huh! But I bet you’ll find it entertaining. It’ll be just like you’re there, on a road trip, with me, except you won’t have to smell any of my White Castle stink.
Just kidding I wouldn’t be dumb enough to eat at White Castles while on a road trip!! That would be abusing both me and my passengers! I’ve been thinking a lot about Smell-o-vision lately, maybe I’ll talk about it at some point during our trip, remind me at some point okay, remind me.
Also this is one of the good convoys okay, cuz it’s just gonna be us and any of you folks who may wanna tag along. We’re not one of the bad ones they do nowadays. We are reclaiming convoys.
This is what I really need, I am so tired and have so much prep to do for this trip and miffy doesn’t have a driver’s license and, also, refuses to drive because she wants to spend the trip “reading Gidget and playing games about fruits.”
Working on a parody version of this about my troubles, that’ll help ease my pain, I am sure…
Did you know man made the car . . . to take us over the road . . . all the way . . . to Las Vegas?
We have at least 18 hours to go…we have not reached our destination…or our goal…I forgot to post the goal…the destination is Las Vegas though…I think we’re somewhere in Pennsylvania? Or Ohio. Soon we’re gonna stop at the drive-in. But TOMORROW:
-CB Radio
-Bingo
-Community theater
-Various roadside attractions
-Good eatin’
-Trivia and other road trip games
-Maybe that episode of Law & Order SVU with Jerry Lewis playing Munch’s uncle
-AND MORE
