if i remember right, the emit series are bilingual edutainment.
the mega drive was also gundam-free. odd, since those two are the otaku consoles
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Oh it’s not that weird. While mecha heads are into gundam, Bandai mostly treated it (and still does treat it) as a toy line first and foremost so it makes sense it would be on the most mainstream, most kid-friendly console.
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1996 all the way to 1999 baby!
I’m going to start it off in the worst way by mentioning all of the restricted and recommended for 18+ games. I’m summarizing descriptions off of MobyGames because I don’t want to feel gross and need to take a shower. I’ve already taken a shower today.
Tokimeki Card Paradise: Koi no Royal Straight Flush
This is a card game, but the girls strip when you win. They look very young on the cover so, yeah, we’re not even going to touch that. You could play blackjack, poker, speed, and something called papanuki. Looking this up, it’s called “Old maid.” It’s kind of like go fish, but you take a queen out of the deck so whoever is left holding that loses. There are no winners, only losers.
Steam-Heart’s
This is a shooter. Apparently, the plot goes like this: a virus has made princesses around the world violently mad. You, a man named “Blow,” are able to administer the cure. Only, the cure has to be administered one way because it’s stored in your balls. They really did this.
Super Real Mahjong PV
At this point, there have been about five of these games released for the PC Engine. Now they’ve ported one to the PC-FX. Do I even need to explain?
DE - JA
This is an erotic game from Elf, famous for putting a lot of thought and effort into their erotic games. They made Dragon Knight and Dokyusei. They also made Yu-No which is apparently something. NEC has gone from tolerating smut on their console, to outright publishing it themselves, providing help with animation and voice acting. This is only recommended for gamers over 18 because they removed the adult scenes for this release.
An amateur archeologist starts losing his sense of reality. He has vivid dreams of getting treasure and those dreams blur into his life. You guide him around the city as he navigates his surreal and sexual existence. Like Policenauts, there is a touch button. Kojima probably got the idea from this game.
Dōkyūsei 2
DEJA was by Elf and ported to the PC Engine, but NEC ported Dōkyūsei 2 for the PC-FX. This is the sequel to the game where you play a sex-obsessed high schooler. In this game, he is a son of an archeologist. I wonder who at Elf had this obsession. The format of these games sound interesting to me because it doesn’t sound quite like a simulation influenced by adventure games, like Princess Maker or Tokimeki Memorial. It sounds like an adventure game that was influenced by simulations. Your actions are typical adventure game actions but they push the game clock forward. That’s neat and there’s probably a lot of cool things you could do with that…if you didn’t want to make erotic high school fiction.
Can Can Bunny Extra
High school boy wants to have sex. A pantheon of gods and goddesses come to help him. Another adventure game awaits! 
It sounds like what makes this game unique is that the sexual encounters aren’t just cutscenes. You click things and choose actions. This game was restricted to consumers who were 18 and older so I don’t think they’ve edited much content out.
Dragon Knight 4
A Dragon Knight game for the PCFX actually sounds pretty decent. I believe explicit content has been edited out for this version. It’s a familiar JRPG setting, but comedic and horny. They even released this on the Super Famicom. Older games in the series had you move around via menu. Now it’s the common topdown people train on a map. Without playing, I don’t have much to say about this.
Pia Carrot e Yōkoso
There’s actually an English translation patch for this game, so let’s see what it’s about before I try to play it. It’s a dating sim and you play recent high school graduate. You start working at your father’s restaurant. You schedule where in the restaurant he should work during his shift and you set up meetings with girls after work. I’m a little tempted to try, but I don’t think I need to see explicit animated sex.
This version was not edited, so it is restricted for 18 and up.
First Kiss Story
I hate how the artist draws faces. These foreheads are way too disturbing
This is the final PC-FX game officially released. It’s fitting that the theme would be so familiar. You are a high school boy just a month shy of graduation. Your parents leave for travel and you spend the month living with the family pictured on the cover: a widow and her two daughters. You could have a relationship with any one of them and a dozen other girls around the area. At this point, adventure games have tilted far towards visual novel territory. You don’t make many choices, instead you advance text and enjoy the slideshow.
Dead of the Brain 1 & 2
And here is the final official release for the PC-Engine. It’s a throwback compilation of adventure games that were released 7 years ago, in 1992. Remember 1992? The PC-Engine was beautiful back then. Tengai Makyō II came out that year.
Anyways, this game is zombie horror. It’s got a lot of blood and gore. People go a little mad when they realize the dead are rising up. It’s got a funny look to it. I think I might try it!
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Today I was in a Game Store with a very good PC Engine/Megadrive Section and managed to have an opinion about every single PC Engine game. Except for Langrisser, which I plan to get to soon. That and SMT. But the point stands I now have opinions about every single one of these. They even had Tenchi Muyo for PC-FX
You gotta show off the Dead of The Brain cover for everyone. Everyone that sees this in my mook goes “What The Fuck Is That.” Now…I will finally answer that question (in the spooky month)
Steam Hearts is a very explicit shooter with sex that also has a Saturn version and I’ll give it a try when family isn’t around.
You left off Virgin Dream which is a Girl Raising Game like Princess Maker, but if you wanna take something called Virgin Dream be my guest.
I’ve been looking for the right place to mention that I had to get Post-it-Note censor bars for my Saturn mook. There are some explicit images in there that I don’t need my child or grandma casually seeing. I don’t have to do that really for the PC Engine mook outside of Steam Hearts and First Kiss Monogatari. The later is straight up pedophilia and I might just black marker over the whole entry. It’s real fucking bad.
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Good call. I overlooked it because it didn’t have an age rating. At this point, I don’t think we need to roll the dice on whether a concept like “put a little girl to work” is going to have good taste.
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a gif made from one of the cutscenes in steam heart’s used to get posted around the internet a lot. there was even a little game boy rom that just played it on a loop!
i think some forum members might be interested to know that it isn’t just a porn shooter, but a kemonomimi porn shooter
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i played steam hearts last month out of curiosity, too early to post in the thread.
i remember a swedish magazine made a big deal out of the girl co-pilot having a dick. i don’t think the pc-engine version shows this. it’s like, semi-censored. you can see nipples.
anyway, the shooting sucks so bad i quit after the first boss
here’s the catgirl co-pilot doing a face while nothing happens
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The Super Famicom versions of the EMIT games had CDs associated with it, I think? And you hooked some machine up to the super famicom which would play the CDs.
Interestingly, all three versions (Super Famicom, Playstation, PC-FX) of Dragon Knight 4 were pretty different from each other, they weren’t just direct ports that cut out the content.
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I kick the door down and say “I’m back and I’m horny.”
Steam Hearts
It’s a mediocre shooter with a whole lot of talking. Your end of stage bosses after you beat them, have a virus that can only be removed by giving them multiple orgasms. At least that is what it sounds like. There are explicit stills, and you gotta be comfortable or healthy for a lot of anime-style-moaning.
I think this is the 3rd time I’ve played this game and had this exact same experience and I could not tell you if it was the Saturn or the PCE version. I must have been really into it or bored and embarrassed by the whole experience.
I got to stage 3, where the game suddenly got very difficult.
The first text on the screen tells you how to skip the cutscenes which might be one of the earliest text-boxes telling you how to skip the story.
I keep meaning to go back to the JRPGs I like, but I played so so many in such a short amount of time that I can’t keep any of them straight. i’ve tried to go back to Neo Metal Fantasy 3 times this week and I get maybe 90 seconds in before the effort flows out of me (not like above, okay!!!)
Maybe it is time to play Chrono Trigger. Or the 3 RPGs I missed in my journey. Probably the later. But I have to start gaming earlier in the night.
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I’ve got to make time for Valis III, Rondo of Blood, and Ys IV before the end of the year.
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The game from after 1995 I’ve been waiting to post about is: Madou Monogatari I. I really like this game! You know I love those late PC Engine pseudo-anachronisms. Just seeing copyright 1996 on a pce title screen is enough to thrill me. But it’s really the sound design that does it…the redbook songs sound very “psx” to me. But there’s still that native pce soundchip sound we all know and love. It’s like the ridiculous 8-bit bullet sfx in Sapphire.
The game is a first-person dungeon rpg with only one party member. I love when something hardcore/inaccessible like that gets sugar coated and simplified. I’m impressed by the futility of it, as if they really thought the game was going to be mega popular just because of the presentation, and I’m also pleased by the potential to piss off and confuse hardcore fans. In this case the maps are pretty small & comprehensible, the battles are generally pretty forgiving, and most importantly there are no HP/MP bars–you figure out how the battle is going just by reading text (ouch! that really hurt.) This obfuscates a lot of stuff about the battles which makes them kinda interesting (are there even attribute weaknesses? I couldn’t tell after a while) and leads to some funny moments. Whenever you miss it always says “critical hit!” first and then you miss. I don’t even remember if this game had actual critical hits. It never gets old…Also since it’s so streamlined the challenge comes from interesting stuff like ice floors, breakable walls, and item puzzles/fetch quests. Just a neat game.
I started playing this game right when this thread started & was trying to finish it by now…but that didn’t happen. I did play a bit of the mega drive madou monogatari though (which is very different, I’ll spare you the details) and damn I might like that game even more. The mega drive always wins…
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Shanghai: Triple-Threat
Every console needs its version of Shanghai. This one is pretty bland after the brilliance that was Shanghai III: Battle Shanghai. The music isn’t great and everything is just rote at this point. I played two patterns, lost and won. Let’s just say this game is not selling any PC-FXs.
Super Power League FX
That’s right, we have a new edition of Power League for the PC-FX! This is one of the rare FX games that eschews anime and tries to pull off 3D and pre-rendering tricks. It’s much slower than the PC Engine games and the fielding is absolutely ridiculous. These players catch every single ball that doesn’t go out of the park. It’s not good!
Power DoLLS FX
When I loaded up this game, I was thinking, “here it is. Here’s the juice.” But that excitement evaporated as I saw cutscenes that were merely stills, and had to play a battle that was pitifully slow. To the developers’ credit, the goal for the first mission is not your typical “destroy all enemies.” Instead, they lay out the grand strategy purpose for the mission: there is a surprise offensive on the border. We don’t have time to send reinforcements, but if we blow up a dam, we can stall the advance.
In this mission and, I assume, in all missions, you control five mechs that are mostly similar but fit into particular military classes. You have mechs that can focus on artillery, others that have machine guns, and more that carry repair kits. It actually reminds me a lot of a PC Engine strategy game from years ago, Lady Phantom, I believe.
You have to lead the mechs to the dam, set the explosives and ignite them. While you are waiting for the explosion, enemies continually pour in from one side of the screen. It’s a good premise for a tactics match, but the map is a little too big and movements are a little too slow. It took me two turns of movement before I engaged the enemy in combat. Units, even allied units, cannot move through each other, so you can easily block your own path if you aren’t careful. It’s just kind of boring in practice. Still, it has more style than the other two releases I played, so I have to give them some credit.
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The juice:
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De Ja:
I signed in to discord and loaded up the final round of PC Engine games (for me). De Ja begins as all bad Japanese Adventure games do. In your office. And you have to sit and stare at your desk and think about your desk and stare at your desk again. The programmer-voiced protagonist has to talk endlessly about his job and then been a creep pervert about a girl he saw in a dream. I think I played for an hour as we kept waiting for something to happen. Nothing did.
Dead Of The Brain 1+2:
This begins as all Japanese adventure games do with a guy in an office. Forunately I didn’t have to do anything to advance text. I went to Doctor Crouger’s office where a reanimated cat attacked me. He shot the cat then reanimated it again. Then a cop showed up because of the gun fire and he died so we revived him then we had zombies. I then had to apologize to my friends because I actually hate this kind of game and the menu being mouse-based made it worse.
The strange thing is this is a port of a 1991 game and it shows! Barely any streaming music. Voiced lines, but pcm music. Ramona informed us that the spectacular cover is because it is the 1st and 2nd game imposed on each other. That’s cool. Also the whole game with subtitles is on youtube. So if you wanna get Dead; In The Brain. You can!! Why they ported an 8 year old game to a dead system is beyond me.
Bazaru De Gozaru:
A delightful game by GAMEFREAK??? You have a monkey. You want to get the monkey to the goal. There are command blocks. You program the actions to take when the Monkey reaches the command blocks. It is beautiful. The music sings. I absolutely hate playing this genre of game. We all agreed it was fine and good.
Go! Go! Birdie Chance: Yeah Baby! Finally a game where I kiss girls and golf! Except…not? You play a faceless/wordless manager sent to train one of 3 girls at an elite All Golf High School. It is one of these raising sims Princess Maker popularized. For an anime-style Golf game it was surprisingly not horny. The sim and anime part went on for a good while. We trained our Mullet with 3 rat tails down to her legs rough-talking tom-boy. We saw she just likes hanging out on the cough. She loves cheering at the movie theater. She just can’t deal with figuring out clothes.
We also like lifted weights and practiced our putting. Finally it was time for our first match. The clouds move by on the overhead map telling us the windspeed! We all gasped we had never seen that before. The power meter is really fast. I couldn’t figure out if I was selecting it or not. On the third hole she got caught in the rough. Was I playing or just helping. I got to give advice after each shot that lowered or improved her will. She could not get out of the rough. She went 11 over par. She had lost. The other competitor (one of the other girls) raised her spirits.
We went back to check the key art for the other girls when they trained. It remained, for the extreme average, not horny. Just about golf and hoping these anime high school students golf their best and improve themselves along the way. The music is again all pcm, but delightful idol-pop sounding. There seemed to be no erotic or dating element what so ever. Maybe if you really train the girl good. Maybe I will! It’s a nice playing golf game with raising elements and animes.
And…that’s it for me! We’re at the end. I still need to play Langrisser and SMT to give my final tallies but we’re at the end. (Okay looking at the mook there is one other 1996 release I could play, okay.) I can say I played like 300 PC Engine games this year. I sure will be able to count them once I finally take out them out of the notepad. That was certainly something I put on myself this year. May this thread live on for years to come as an English totem of The PC Engine. Now I could just…play some PC Engine games. Get down to a list of the 20 best. Maybe that will be redundant once I post the big list. Thank You for reading and participating, especially Minty for organzing this and then me running with it much farther than necessary once it became clear we could actually play the entire library in a review fashion in one year.
Bonk Sucks, Konami Owns, bring back poorly concieved comedian platformers.
She’s just like us.
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PC-98 version screenshot for comparison
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Meekly opening the door after a big exit
Forgot my hat.
My working hat that is!
Hataraku Shōjo: Tekipaki Working Love
The title could be translated as Working Girls: Diligent Working Love. Ugh am I right? But wait. This is the second in a row of non-horny “raising” sim. This time you have 3 girls you are…the boss or manager of? I couldn’t really hear the dialog because PC Engine sound mixing is bad. Also friends were talking. And friends are always more important than video games.
You set the schedule for the 3 girls each week. Then you watch them move papers or move papers or answer the phone or teach an animal mathematics? What?
We had a good time yelling at the animal for being bad at mathematics. This raises the Leadership Stat. I’d say it raises Animal Handling!
Eventually after many weeks (maybe related to stat limits?) we got our first real job. The Boss said “Ghost” several times. I assumed I misheard. The Key Visual was in fact the girl in a Ghost costume. Turns out I don’t know about working!
This meant for all the event scenes there are 3 versions.
After many more weeks of just watching stats go up we got a title card CHAPTER 1. See an Octopus Cat had gone missing from the Zoo. We got a prompt. Were we going to “look into” the octopus cat at the zoo or the library. The Library is a great place to get information.
The Library told us little so we went to the zoo to catch the octopus cat. There was a ghost cat on the ground. We decided to catch it. When the octopus cat got wet it becomes an ghost cat. We did the job! Great!
We did many more weeks of work. It was very easy to keep playing because people kept joining the call so we showed off teaching a cat mathematics over and over. I could zone out and choose another week of playing. Nothing seemed to happen. We got to week 30. Chapter 2 never appeared. I made myself quit.
All the art was very cute. It is part of a larger series that has a Megadrive game and a Puzzle game for PS1.
I really do not like the stat raising genre. I do not understand it. It seems like randomly selecting options until something happens. A dread that you are making the wrong choices and have always made the wrong choices. A recent example would I guess be Citizen Sleeper. I knew I was not gonna like that and I did not.
Working is just moving papers from one place to another.
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yes
this desk rules, dragonball-lookin’-ass-console-desk thing is good
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man you can’t just say that dead of the brain collection has a good cover, you have to show the people!
also the plot of the first game is me asking if you’ve ever seen the movie “reanimator,” then telling you that it’s just reanimator but the main villain who turned everyone into zombies is a cyborg that looks like the terminator.
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There are way too many PCE games that have this problem. When I first encountered it in Sol Bianca I thought my Japanese was just not good enough or the emulator had some bug. I could barely make out anything they were saying in the opening sequence. But I looked at some jikkyo plays and the kusoge wiki and all the Japanese players were saying the same thing, so it seems to be a consistent problem with (poorly made?) PCE games. It’s certainly not a problem in all of them.
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this game got a translation yesterday
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