X Men first class was fucking terrible. Competing with X Men 3 for worst X Men movie and likely winning.
I dunno, that Wolverine movie was really beyond awful.
I haven’t seen Watchmen since it came out and I also had no knowledge of or emotional attachment to the comic so I probably just latched onto the good stuff from that. Basically your words are a pretty perfect distillation of my most secret fear… was I wrong to continue defending Snyder all those years after Ga’hoole and Sucker Punch and Man of Steel??? (the answer is probably yes)
Never watched it never will but I’ll take your word for it
First Class looks like a made for tv movie and despite all the praise around the time of its release, the principal relationship between Magneto and Carlos Javier was entirely informed through exposition than through anything that transpired on screen.
That and it was horribly miscast (aside from the Fass). Kevin Bacon and the chick from Mad Men as the big villains? The action scenes were horrible and deeply uncreative. So many painful “training” montages (no crossfit).
I watched Days of Future Past right after and it was like manna from heaven after that pile.
The end of 10 Cloverfield Lane is such a gorgeously, transcendentally stupid slice of Girl Power I was elevated to another plane of being.
I would so watch a sequel featuring Mary Elizabeth Winstead going Ellen Ripley on nested butthole aliens for the entire2.5 hours mandatory for all big sfx blockbusters even though it would be insanely boring and lame?!
Okay, you need to spoil the shit out of this movie for me now
OK
[spoiler]Winstead is in a car accident and wakes up in John Goodman’s bunker. There is Another Guy. Goodman says There Has Been a Chemical or Nuclear Attack and the Air Outside Will Kill You. At first the movie is about her not believing him (because he’s awkward and intense to the point of creepy and mentions The Russians and Martians as possible attack culprits) and trying to get out. When she Almost Gets Out she’s confronted by evidence that the air really will kill people. There is a lull as everyone gets along for a while THEN she and Other Guy discover that Goodman might be right about the air but he also maybe kidnapped a girl once to replace his estranged daughter and eventually murdered her in the bunker?!
So they make plans to get out safely and survive Whatever but Goodman finds out and murders Other Guy but Winstead manages to escape in a fashion that incidentally blows up the bunker…
…which is investigated by a ship that spits a weird alien dogthing with a toothed sphinctermouth out into a field.
So Goodman was right about everything but also a creepy murderer who was grooming Winstead to be his replacement daughter.
So the tense character-based bottle thriller ends with its heroin evading space aliens for ten minutes. This escalates into her in a truck being sucked up into the alien ship (which also has a butthole mouth), a problem she deals with by making a molotov cocktail which chain reacts from the buttmouth to blow the ship up.
She then finds another vehicle to start and drives off.
Hears something on the radio.
There are other humans. In Houston. They are looking for people with combat or medical experience.
They are looking
FOR SURVIVORS
She takes a turn toward Houston as indicated by a handy road sign.
Surving the goodmanbunker has prepared her to bring the fight to the xenosphincters.[/spoiler]
This is amazing, I almost want to see this for myself now
Winstead’s really good.
Goodman’s really good.
Then butthole aliens are really buttholes
That sounds pretty fucking good.
Is this related to the Cloverfield movie somehow? I mean like from the name it has to be. I am heavily in favor of obliquely related movies without a clear narrative throughline or canon.
Abrams called it a “blood relative”. I’ve not seen the first Cloverfield, but from what I understand (and what my friends told me) this is pretty wholly different.
It plays kind of like he had a “I’m producing this small thriller and if I add this element to the end and stick the Cloverfield name on it I can actually make a bunch of money instead of it going direct to streaming for John Goodman fetishist and Mary Elizabeth Winstead completionists only” eureka moment.
selectbutton
john goodman fetishists
saw ‘paths of glory’ today. it’s the first time in a while i watch a movie on a tv instead of my pc, so unfortunately i couldn’t take dozens of screenshots in the meanwhile. anyway it’s pretty cool how the movie has this quality of looking way more modern than its age.
this is currently my favorite kubrick film and i intend on watching barry lyndon next~
The Pornographers was a good film. It is filled to the absolute brim with cool camera angles and perspectives. Lots of layers.
I enjoyed Hateful Eight for being the crazy, spaghetti western version of the middle part of Stagecoach that I never knew I wanted. There’s also a really good stage play buried in that movie and I want to see the madman who decides to actually do it.
Now, to go kick myself for not seeing it in 70mm
Oh yeah I also watched stagecoach recently and it is definitely a better movie than hatefuul eight.

