Movies You Watched Today (2022) ENG SUBS [HD] >>Click to Download<<

It reminded me of Don’t Breathe but classier and without the shameful last act shift that was shoehorned to encourage sympathy for everyone who wasn’t a Blind Boomer Veteran

Was fun seeing Justin Long in something between two decades though

enjoyed Weird alright. the pool scene was pretty good lol

Barbarian felt like having a dudebro talk at me about the Me Too movement. Nothin’ against dudebros, but they tend to go on and on about how smart they think they are about something I didn’t even ask about.

Watched Triangle of Sadness. Boy, what a funny movie. I haven’t laughed that hard in a theater in a long time. Maybe it was me coming off a long shift and sludging through traffic to watch it, but it felt real good to watch the rich eat shit. I watched the USA remake of his previous movie, Force Majeure, with Julia Dreyfuss and Will Ferrel because it was the only thing playing at the time. That movie sucked ass, but I can understand how Östlund’s version would be much better esp if it’s anything like the first act of Triangle. The Filipino crew stuff really got me going, saw some of my family in them, etc. It makes fun of everything/one, Marxists and Capitalists alike, in a way that I appreciate.

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I have a desire, and that desire is: to see people discover clues and implement strategies to unearth the truth and/or apprehend villains. And so, I have become friends with a chunk of coal by the name of Jesse Stone.

Jesse Stone is the protagonist in a series of, to date, 9 television movies, produced primarily for the CBS network, basically one per-year from 2005 to 2015. They star a 60-something Tom Selleck, sporting an array of large brown blazers, huge denim button down shirts, towering straight-leg jeans, and exactly one navy baseball cap. Embroidered on the back of that baseball cap? His title: “Chief”.


Jesse stone is a former Los Angeles homicide detective. Fired from his job on the LA police force for alcoholism, then divorced by his wife; he relocates to the coastal Massachusetts village of Paradise to become its Chief of Police.

The movies were shot on film up until, iirc, 2010 when they switched to fine-looking digital. They have a certain definite televisual type of look, but classy, mostly interiors of peoples heads talking at each other, but there’s some nice exterior shots now and then, every so often you get some really choice kinda surrealistic matte/greenscreen shots (all the side-shots of Big Tom solemnly traveling in a vehicle, etc.). Smooth-noir-adjacent soundtrack. Cozy stuff.

The serialized but sporadic way they were released has them leaning in on catch-phrases and repeating tropes, ‘remember this from one year ago when you set your VCR to the time listed in the TV Guide’ kinda stuff. Gives them a further whiff of…mannerism? that I like. Jesse walks down the bridge to his house, opens the door and pours himself the first of two drinks, his dog Reggie gives him a “you sure you need another one of these pal?” look, he calls his ex-wife on the phone, falls asleep in the chair. Feels like an expensive tv show because it is an expensive tv show. Feels like Jesse is doing the same thing over and over because Jesse is doing the same thing over and over, as he will repeatedly explain to you.

Jesse is an alcoholic old man who has depression and this job is the last thing he’s got. He’s good at what he does. He needs this. The meddlers in the Town Hall want to take it away, etc, etc. Murders are bad for tourism, troubled teen girls, Boston mobsters, who’s gonna man the speed trap at the edge of town.

Stone Cold, the first movie, is the best one. It’s…basically the only one where the villains are interesting. Magnum PI vs Gen-X Pervert Sickos on the loose in His Town. Really came out of the gate strong with that one. I don’t even remember which one of the 9-count’em-9-films it was, but at the end of one of them there’s an out-of-nowhere first-person night-vision Call of Duty BLOPS bad-guy perspective scene. Just a little treat for the Gamers out there.

Oh and 70 year old Tom Selleck is just constantly bedding these 20-something women who absolutely cannot resist his “lumbering gun Santa who fucks” vibe. Like multiple ones per movie sometimes? Sheesh. Slow down Jesse. I think in the books these movies are based on Jesse Stone is in his 30s. One time he says “I’m too old for you” to one of them and it is never brought up again ever. It has now been 7 years since the last Jesse Stone movie, but based on a mid-2022 interview Tom remains fully committed to the story and character of Jesse Stone, and assures us that the 10th installment remains in development and will see release. Tom produced all of the movies, I think, and he co-wrote the last few. I think a couple of them are not even based on any books, Tom just had to get these Jesse stories out there. Bless you, Tom, may your 100 year old bones hold you up long enough for one more trip back to Paradise.

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Saw Last Noght in Soho for a third time earlier today, and really am starting to love that movie, even though knowing where it goes, how the plotbeats are going to play out etc.

Also, starting to love some of the posters they’ve made for it,

they’ve somehow locked in on what makes my triggers fire w/ that :servbotsalute:

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Watched the Northman and I didn’t particularly like it but it is a little funny to have a movie that’s like, ‘Can our hero break the cycle of violence and revenge? Also, unrelated, when he was a kid his dad gave him mushrooms and then he and another man put their faces really close to his and yelled IF SOMEONE KILLS YOUR DAD, YOU HAVE TO GET REVENGE! THIS IS LITERALLY THE MOST IMPORTANT THING!’

Really makes u think

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My favorite part was where the freshly escaped slaves seemingly had no difficulty acquiring horses and boats, two of the most expensive things of the period

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Ace 14 is the most obvious “this completely imprinted on kid Anno’s brain” thing I’ve ever seen. It’s the one where the 4 previous Ultramen get crucified to created the Ace Killer on Planet Golgotha. It’s great.

Surprised at the early Leo pick, as the last 10 eps of that series (where they ran out of budget because the oil crisis and killed off almost everyone in the main cast so Leo could fight an ever escalating series of geometric shapes as monsters sent by an evil wizard) are really obvious influences as well.

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I had skimmed some article when it came out about all the research that went into it and there was a real moment of going, ‘Oh, in like a video game way, so the buildings look right huh?’ when I finally watched it :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Everything Everywhere all at once actually pretty much lived up to the hype. Christ this movie was a perfect object as a self contained film. Just so multilayered, technically excellent, every part (including the hot dog universe which was somehow important to the characterization of two people and the ultimate central thesis of the film) fit together to make a really emotionally affecting whole that actually made me chew over some stuff in a way I wouldn’t have expected for the usual treatise on absurdism.

Definitely got me close to crying a few times which I didn’t expect, too.

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I don’t see how this movie ever communicated that, even once

I think it’s actually like heroes will never break the cycle, funnily enough. It’s the one aspect I like about that movie besides the Valkyrie that has braces.

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beyond the infinite two minutes: gets a thumbs up :+1: for its enthusiastic cast, and the less you know going into it, the better it is.


in other news, Fire Force (Netflix anime series) feels suspiciously like both Trigger (with their frature film 'Promare') and David Production were inspired by the same source material, though Promare was way more engaging/animu-awesome right off the bat than this series.

‘Carter’, the korean Netflix pseudo-one-cut vehicle got a solid 0.5 stars out of 5 for aggressively stupid action, paired with needlessly shaky cam and cheapo CGI action setpieces that make korean craftsmanship look subpar - an anti-hallyu-advertisement in essence.

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Yeah, that’s a perfect description of what the research felt like. Attentive to all the material details like swords, buildings, and costumes but with a generic video game plot driving everything

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I really liked the way it depicted magic and prophecy in a way that (it seems to me) would be legitimately recognizable to someone in period. It suggests modern, rational explanations for most of what would be considered supernatural or mystical, but never succumbs to a fully James Randian explanation of everything; there’s always an inexplicable edge where you can never be sure whether it’s really depicting a paranormal event or whether it’s purely psychological from whatever character’s POV or… what. Very deft.

I also really liked the characterizations and the way it stringently avoids a good guy/bad guy narrative that is also authentic to period sources. And way more interesting regardless of your investment in historical authenticity.

But yeah the whole thing ended up less than the sum of its parts due to its basic plotting. I never stopped being mad that they named the protagonist Hamlet. They could’ve used Shakespeare to punch up the script for sure

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I watched The Sting for the first time and they do not make films like that anymore. Really fun.

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missed opportunity for Amleth to set up a scorn pole and they wasted so much time on that dark souls bossfight with a draugr

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I’ve been watching the NHK/CCTV coproduction from 1980, The Silk Road. It’s so relaxing. Thank you @Tulpa for mentioning it in the past.

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Continuing in my Johnnie To quest I watched Sparrow and to be honest it didn’t do much for me. A lot of what was going on was very obscure and confusing, which I enjoyed in Throw Down but didn’t enjoy here. The characters are all horny for a manic pixie mob girl they know nothing about, and nobody has any believably intense relationship with her or anyone else in the story.

I also think all three of Simon Yam’s buddies were miscast. To make the vibe in that group work they shoulda all been way younger.

This is the first Johnnie To movie I’ve seen that hasn’t blown me away! Oh well. I did really like the scenes where the actors do group pickpocket moves together though. Half this movie is basically a music video about stealing people’s wallets

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Furrey Awakening Double Feature

Bagi: the monster of mighty nature
*** 1/3rd
As a friend put it, there’s “Fan Service” and then there’s “Artist’s Service”, as this plot careens from one tenuously set up scene to another. There are so many ass shots in this movie. There’s an entire scene where they have to prove they’re a circus act, and that means Bagi has to…jump through 30 meters of flaming hoops. Then there’s the plant strangulation scene. Hypnosis scenes. Bagi gets glued to a fucking table. Bagi dances in a downpour while her clothes disintegrate. I’m told this film jumpstarted the furry fandom in Japan, much like Robin Hood did in the states. This is a shame because Robin Hood is actually a good character with charisma, and Bagi is this weird collection of fetishes.

Edit: also there’s a character in here who clearly inspired Revolver Ocelot. He’s cocky and he just whirls his pistol around the whole time

The Rats of NIMH
*****
One of our friends had not seen The Rats of NIMH but only the very terrible direct to video sequel, so we all watched it as a double feature. I forgot how fucking gorgeous this film is. Mrs Brisby is constantly surrounded by things that will instantly kill her, and I find the visual contrast of the characters vs the surroundings to really emphasize how vulnerable things seem. The animations and backgrounds are better than I remember, and now that I’m older I appreciate them on a technical level. The soundtrack also has plenty of cascading strings, which I am a fucking sucker for, they get me every god damn time.

Also Justin is sooooo dreamy omg

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