Mudhalvan
A story of Pugal, just an ordinary V.C
who by a series of implausibly dramatic & action-packed situations ends up interviewing the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu
(C.M is the snowy-haired Jeff Goldblum-alike)
He puts forth a line of questioning so insightful and incisive that the C.M, flustered, falls back onto “hey this job is tough, why don’t you do it if you think it’s so easy to not be horrendously corrupt”
Pugal is put on the spot! He doesn’t want to be a politician! But his heart belongs to the beautiful and extremely-pale Thenmoli
whose father demands any potential suitor have a government job.
He accepts! And for one day, he is in charge! Like any man with a shred of common sense, he has a simple plan of straightforward actions to solve all social issues. Corrupt actions of people in appointed positions? Simply be attended at all times by a clerk with a typewriter (left)
So you may issue a suspension notice (or two) on the spot
Pugal sets up a televised phone-in where reports of ill-doing can be reported in real time.
Unpunished sexual assaults by slum-dwelling thugs? Public thrashing on the streets
And roads-slash-bus-roofs
But why have things gotten so bad? Who has let such a state of affairs fester under their watch? Where does the responsibility ultimately lay?
In the final minutes of his day of power, Pugal arranges a raid on the government ministers and takes the unthinkable legal step:
INTERMISSION
Pugal, exhausted, returns home in his 3-wheeler. But the C.M’s thugs arrive to remind him of his place
They catch him, beat him half to death, then douse him in petrol. Too late, Pugal runs, but is consumed by flames! But what’s this? Only his clothes are soaked in fuel, so
He dives off a bridge into a nearby cesspool, pursued. But now the tables have turned, much like in John McTiernan’s action blockbuster Predator
Pugal takes care of the thugs, kicking them into nearby fluorescent tube lights and throwing wrecked cars at them(!) (this whole scene is the best action sequence in the film)
Finally Pugal emerges victorious onto the streets, exhausted and covered in shit. He cannot continue! He needs a clean! The people see him, recognise him, wash him!
There is no water at hand, but a fresh delivery from the dairy has just arrived!
The next day, Pugal’s orders are undone. But it is too late! Faith in the government is in shambles, it collapses, a snap election is called! The people clamour for one name and one name only! It’s Pugal, just in case that wasn’t clear.
There’s some surprise swastikas stamped on the screen at this part which my delicate western sensibilities weren’t prepared for.
The results are in. It’s a landslide!
Pugal heads the new government and immediately appoints the perfect balanced cabinet
Now he is the perfect suitor! But what of Thenmoli? He despatches a cell phone, far too busy as C.M to visit. But Thenmoli is having none of it
And neither is the previous C.M. Clearly he needs a higher calibre of thug
A squad of hired assassins, each with their own (mentioned) violent specialty are recruited (offscreen) and sent after Pugal!
Meanwhile, Pugal cannot stand to be away from Thenmoli but cannot stand the pomp of an official C.M visit. He goes undercover with arguably the world’s most unconvincing disguise for a mustachioed man:
Undetectable, he immediately blows his cover attempting to buy flowers on credit and is instantly detected by the nearest treetop-perched hireling
At last he arrives at Thenmoli’s family’s house. He enters, seemingly unrecognised, and makes a rape joke. Thenmoli acquiesces?! Ah, but she has seen through his slightly-larger mustache and is playing him for the sexually-assaulting fool! Tis nothing but malarky and japes!
Finally together again, there is a surprisingly-erotic-but-still-censor-approved montage. They relax on Thenmoli’s father’s farm, in front of the pot-headed scarecrow
(apologies; this is the scarecrow Pugal hid behind when first talking to Thenmoli in a strange Cyrano de Bergerac situation, that Thenmoli pined over while Pugal was engrossed in his new career, and now…)
Fortunately Pugal’s security detail are as observant as Thenmoli & have been stalking him this whole time. A gunfight erupts, some gasoline-enriched palm trees launch into the stratosphere, and a lot of pyrotechnics are set off quite close to worried-looking livestock.
(oh no I still have 100 more screenshots)
Pugal returns to his parent’s house to rest. He is undefeatable! But what is every super-hero’s weakest point?
His parents dead, Pugal has nothing to lose! Heart full of revenge, he seeks recompense from those responsible
But that is not in accordance with the oath he swore to uphold! What would Gandhi say! He checks himself and leaves. However this is not the end…
Three more bombs are discovered (personally) and disarmed (by disposable public servants)
It’s finally time for the climax
And to settle this once and for all
But! Heh, you can’t shoot the ex-C.M in a room where only you two are known to be in! It would be a transparent case of murder!
Pugal didn’t get into this situation by being a dummy though
He shoots himself (!!) and tosses the pistol to the C.M, who is left holding the bag when the guards burst in. They proceed to blast him so hard he fully levitates before expiring.
That’s it! Pugal recovers with Thenmoli by his side, and Tamil Nadu prepares for a transformational era of prosperity.
• Letterboxd
I might be going to the cinema tonight
