Because I am this way I’ve been thinking about this for an hour and ACTUALLY Y-wings and TIE bombers are the nonsensical physics craft.
I did have a “Sonic’s arms are not blue” moment in the theater when the ion cannons where green
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Intercommercial treat of a threat
While this doesn’t make Fortnite ’s world officially part of Star Wars’ canon, the juxtaposition makes it too bizarre to not point out. What likely happened is that director J.J. Abrams had Ian McDiarmid record the lines for this message, then realized he had no easy way to present them without interrupting the story, or making a wasted, expository scene for them.
So that went in the ash pile, and the detail was streamlined into an opening crawl mention. But when Epic and Disney got together, someone asked J.J. if he had anything that would be helpful, and this bit of dialogue now works as a proper foreshadowing. Palpatine’s doing an elevator pitch, if you will, it’s just … in Fortnite.
The Rise of Skywalker’s opening crawl references an event you could only hear in Fortnite - Polygon
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trying to figure out star wars physics is a game for fools but:
-the star destroyer floats above jedha on the same principle that luke’s speeder (and all other star wars technology) floats above the ground even when it’s not moving
-the bombs are guided out of the bomber on magnetic rails and also have uh magic force field things to keep them from crashing into one another
-the space chase/fuel scarcity in a vacuum makes sense because they are using fuel to constantly accelerate. both ships maintain all of their momentum while drifting in a frictionless environment, so they are effectively motionless relative to one another. in order to close the gap the pursuing ships need to accelerate, in order to gain ground the fleeing ships must thus accelerate more. also fuel is required to maintain the ships life support systems.
but honestly… this stuff doesn’t matter at all and i feel like people only start to get suspicious about Space Physics when there is not enough other stuff going on to convince you not to care. star wars obviously requires total suspension of disbelief at all times, which we are typically able to do as long as we are entertained
speaking of which, on revisiting the canto bight sequence i have concluded that the main reason i don’t like it is because the designs are kind of boring. in a weird way it is the closest thing any other SW movie has come to imitating the overindulgence in CGI and slapstick of the prequels, but watching all of the movies in sequence again it just struck me how boring the costume designs of everyone in canto bight were. like, i guess rich people in space also just wear black tuxedos?
like, the one thing that i hope we can all agree in is really fucking good about the phantom menace is how bizarre and wonderful all of amidala’s costumes are. canto bight seems like a real missed opportunity to show off some truly otherworldly costume design, and they totally biff it.
i need some kind of signal to let you know that i’m not being facetious, but i 100% think that this is something that Solo does better than TLJ. The scenes on the villain’s yacht are so great.
i really wish this had been more text and less subtext. like, i think the implication is supposed to be that before the starkiller base is active, the first order are seen as a kind of marginal threat. if the empire were space nazis, the first order are the space ‘alt right.’
as a political metaphor it is very on the nose but i still think more clearly inverting the power dynamic of the rebellion/empire would have been a more interesting set up for the sequels.
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i want to read all of your thoughts in detail, but here is my new SW take, based on what i just saw: i had fun!
this (spoiler heavy) essay i read on the way home, though, is a good explanation for why it isn’t good -https://medium.com/@nettlefish/the-rise-of-skywalker-memorabilia-without-memory-a-misunderstanding-of-hope-8b4976f41df1
but ultimately, my feelings about the new trilogy is that i have no emotional attachment to it and therefore it was a fun thing to watch on a big screen in a Dolby Theater with reclining, vibrating-to-sound seats.
none of the “deaths” felt particularly weighty to me. the movie moves along at such a clip that i feel like the viewer has no time to reflect on anything. it all feels super predictable in terms of having a happy ending, but, i went with someone (who i don’t usually hang out with) and like, man, she is definitely one of those people who is just surprised by everything in a movie, somehow. she cried when i guess we were supposed to cry (chewie “dying” etc.), and was taken in with everything the movie was trying to do. i didn’t really feel moved at all, but i still had fun?
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Force Healing:
In ANH Luke gets fucked up by a sandperson. Obiwan scares them off and then puts his hand on unconscious Luke’s temples in manner that has no medical or diagnostic value. Then he responds to a worried R2 that “he’ll be all right” or somesuch. I always felt that this heavily implied he was doing space magic.
I’m not the first person to say this, but the force was always far more compelling before it became codified as Force Verbing. I think we have the otherwise excellent videogames to blame for this. For me, seeing a movie use the force as a dramatic device to do something I’ve never seen it do before is thrilling, not an opportunity for canon whining.
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Masters of Teräs Käsi 2 and the secret non-playable boss is the sultry bad girl Rey vison she says all kinds of saucy quips
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also I have seen shockingly little screaming about the concept of “lightspeed skipping.” like if the Holdo maneuver got your hackles up then it would seem that lightspeed skipping should immediately sever your spinal cord, but I don’t think I’ve seen it mentioned once
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Oh yeah it’s infuriating. Hyperspace travel in Star Wars, much like the force, always had a bunch of unwritten rules that kept it being something useful for narrative purposes but you couldn’t necessarily magic your way out of every problem with it.
The holdo thing is fine by comparison. It doesn’t really have the same ‘but why don’t they do this in the narrative’ issues, because suicide attacks shouldn’t be your first line of offense.
The only reason I haven’t complained about it was that it was so early I forgot it even happened, because much like the rest of the first half of the film nothing mattered.
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What’s the problem with the casino in TLJ cuz I thought I’d pick up on issues with it when I rewatched the movie but that shit is 10 minutes tops and it’s got some cool aliens and a bunch of rich people get fucked up seemed pretty good to me
The plush stuff in Solo did look better though that is true
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cgi no longer impresses me, so big monsters crashing through the wall is boring. have someone in a big rubber suit smash through the wall instead. needs more actual detritus
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The force healing is “set up” in the Mandalorian on Wednesday and then again with an alien in TROS before it’s ultimately used for big plot beats. It’s not that it’s too out there for a force power - it’s introduced in the way new Force Verbings must be according to armchair screenwriters. It’s more interesting imo when the powers manifest under duress.
If Rey was going to be exchanging her Essence to heal others she shoulda gotten streaks of white in her hair whenever she used it because that would have actually introduced some tension into the whole thing and, most importantly, allowed them to sell even more action figure variants.
This is such an obvious idea that I have to think it was shot down because JJ Abrams is some kind of sex pest who didn’t wanna see a pretty gal aging in any way.
I’m allowed to say this because Elon Musk won that lawsuit.
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Going by my personal experience people don’t complain about lightspeed skipping because it’s very early in the movie, so while it happens I’m/they’re internally screaming all sorts of things about how you can’t skip like that or for that matter that you can’t start/stop a hyperspace jump so close to a planet or other body (this was, you may remember, a rather central plot point in episode 7) and only an insane veteran badass like Han would even attempt one so it’s really stupid Poe and a bunch of generic evil pilots are doing it, but once it’s happened you forget about it because there are even more stupid things that happen that take over.
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I am so relieved that this entire saga has been reframed around Palatine’s cock.
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You ever hear the tragedy of Darth Boffa?
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So glad the internet didn’t exist in the 80s, otherwise the primary meme associated with star wars would def be Vader fucks
Besides, Palpatine has more sex appeal than Anakin in the prequels, people freaking out about him doing it are honestly disrespecting Ian McDiarmid
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