Bachelor streamed House Party. I think House Party is an incredible game! It’s Gone Home: The Video Game: The Porno: The Art.
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somebody make ken levine play this fuck game so he can see how to make a better (non fuck?) game
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game of the fucking year holy shit. i don’t give a fuck when it actually came out.
it should not be as good as it is. it’s a parents game with character models that look like pre-sets in poser. the voice acting is inconsistent. weird ass bugs make it seem like a bethesda game at times. one of those games that would otherwise be lost in the sea of way too many fuck games with bad 3d that you only buy if you’re really hard up (lol) for pornography and somehow can’t just support a real sex worker. but no, no, it rules. it rules so hard. the writing is magical. the puzzles are goofy and often require dream logic. actually having sex with these weird models is hilarious.
game of the decade
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It’s a period piece set at a circa-2006 college student apartment party, and it really commits to replicating the details of that incredibly shitty time in American culture.
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Sometimes its crassness reaches into the surreal and sublime. You can press “p” to take your dick out, and press it again to put it back in, but once you’ve done this a couple of times you start to lose track of whether or not your dick is still out, so you have to keep looking down at your own crotch to make sure you’ve put it away again. It ends up exactly replicating the classic anxiety dream where you’re at a party and suddenly realize you’re naked.
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Watching a certain sexgod play through only a portion of this game’s many wonders/mysteries, I realized it was showing them–and me, and Everyone!–a situation that I’ve rarely seen in fiction, let alone gameficcione: you’re at a party with some people you barely know and the host/ess is in to some shit you all think is Real Stupid + fake and the tide of discussion draws you into cruel commiseration re: What A Maroon! You’re in their home and it’s not that big and they could be around the next corner but you’re bored and want to connect with someone so you just start being a bully in slight absentia because it’s easy!
Later, after your target has overheard, it’s possible to get back into her good graces (and possibly bathing suit area idk I’m too young for parents games I taped some construction paper over my monitor whenever A Genital seemed to impend!), and she reveals that she knows the thing you were mocking is silly, but she’s latched onto it as a way of constructing a Thing that is uniquely hers. The execution is clumsy and stilted and borderline inhuman, but at the same time… relatable? It’s like watching robots trained on prime time network soaps learning to be People in real time.
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the dick detail is so weird, like you can see the seams where the hyper detailed dick body chunk is attached to the rest of your worthless body
you can look down and wiggle your dick, and BOY HOWDY does it wiggle, but like the tip keeps aiming in the center or something so your dick is always wiggling around a point in a weird way
they have a meter for how close you are to orgasm but your dick engorges and deflates in real time with the meter, so they really need to add a hard mode where you have to edge yourself just like everyone already does when they actually jerk off. i guess this wouldn’t be a hard mode for people with a dick, but i think itd be neat to have to constantly look down and check your dick
i dont know if you can jizz on anyone you want…i came in late and i might have missed the novelty of OMG YOU CAN CUM? IM CUMMING ON EVERYTHING. but you should have a jizz meter that builds up so you cant jizz willy nilly. it should be represented by a pair of truck nuts filling with goo
It’s actually a surgically attached geoduck
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oh also youre uncut in this game
it seemed like Jizz Anywhere, Anytime but There Social Consequences (and possibly Games Over) For Just Blasting Off In Public? Also the Bust Action is followed by a refractory period, waiting for the Able To Jizz Again cooldown meter.
It did not seem like a very long wait.
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I keep thinking about all the incidental dialog you can hear through walls and down hallways and the actual design of the house is really good and it’s like shenmue’s drawer segments but doesn’t suck.
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Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in SexGod, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many Parties: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a party for you. And if I go and prepare a party for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. And whither I go ye know, and the way ye know.
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This game is really something.
The game grumps content is pretty bad and you can do stuff with them.
During the stream tonight, my side-research revealed that Eek! Games is based in Beaverton, OR and it all fell into place.
I may have heard an audible click in my head as every brain tumbler did its thing.
The world makes perfect sense.
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