games you played today: winning eleven

to wake up in the morning, some people not a hot cuppa joe. for others, perhaps a harder tincture is in order. in the new year, for myself, i require naught but the hardest of substances: arcade action.

mostly g-darius with sprinklings of various playstation games - r-type delta, harmful park, havent started playing gradius gaiden yet, the mr driller playstation port. havent gotten the 1cc in any yet cuz im bad at video games (well i cleared 2500ft in mr driller im only now trying to play 5000ft) save for one -

intelligent qube. wow. what a game. i only turned it from “a game i have seen briefly and speak of in reverent tones” into a “game i have played
 and liked” in december, but having cleared it for the first time the other day i can say it is actually a game
 that i love.

i love arcade action puzzlers. i am only better-than-non-freaks at them, because they are very hard, and when i studied maths i was more interested in linear algebra and calculus than i was geometry! im sorry.

intelligent qube is a goddamn hour long assault on the brain. it is more action than puzzle, with the speed the cubes move at, though it is also a LOT more puzzle than any given variant of sudoku. it is competitive picross with a gun to my head. and, in its final hour, it pulled the trigger and told me to keep playing while i waited for the ambulance.

its sequels appear to add mechanics, and one day i will feel brave enough for them.

the person who handled getting together the orchestra for this game also did so for drakengard, tho was neither the conductor nor the individual chopping em up, but thats still a pretty neat connection if you ask me

oh yeah this was my frantic photo of my results, MENSA, i will not be applyign for membership, as you are beneath me and also a vile organization and also iq is fake except for intelligent qube results

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Imperial China of Live A Live today felt like three hours of Yes, We KILL Characters In This Game, Get Used To It. Excited to see what other chrono trigger lynchpins they can filtrate into DLC-esque add on to their own game. Remain ambivalent but I’d prefer the future where devs copied from this structure liberally rather than the former.

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forgot to say that its final knife twist (a double surprise to me actually) sent me into such an action puzzle euphoria that i completed the entire final stage on the verge of tears

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Intelligent Qube forever remains in my brain since watching my brother play the demo for it during the brief window in which we owned a PS1 (I think my brothers ended up trading it for an N64). The image of a tiny office worker scrambling around in a featureless void, desperately trying not to get squished by a giant primitive shape really left an impression on my developing child mind


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this reminds me of the time i went into a trance playing mushihimesama futari, regaining my senses midway through the final stage

i really want to know what n64 game gave him the siren call to do such a thing

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As someone that tries it every time I turn on the PSMini how exactly the hell do you play it?

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I wanna say it was probably Mario 64 but my memory’s pretty foggy


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intelligent qube game overs with your character screaming as they fall into an endless void is like lowkey one of the scariest things in vieogames lol

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very rarely ever remember children buying and desiring consoles based on any kind of quality. it was all social pressure that chose what side of the CONSOLE WARS they ended up on

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Batman: Arkham City (360)
overwhelming/poorly-tutorialized so far, though i suppose it is nice to hear the BtAS cast again

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I finally played Pumpkin Jack. Unreal Engine Platformer with a Halloween theme. It is offensively average. I just hated it. It was like playing a resume. No charm or spark of flavor to it. Everything on paper and in action was fine. Oh a minecart stage . Oh a comment on video game objectives being stupid. Oh a stupidly complicated story. Oh a smart comment on the useless thing you collect. Oh just the dances from Fortnite, and the mushroom jump from Fortnite, and the vaulting from Fortnite. I’ve been
really angry recently (who hasn’t) so it was real good just hating this made-by-homeschooled-christians shit. I loved having all my friends fall silent because they just hated the game so much they couldn’t think of anything to say about it. Utterly trash game of no value, except as a resume. Lainer read a review where it said someone liked Halloween and smoked weed and my soul left my fucking body.

It had been in a bundle with Kao the Kangaroo so I loaded up Kao the Kangaroo 2nd Round on Dolphin and that is a Not Bad Platformer. If you got that game as a kid you’d have a worse time than with Sonic Adventure 2, but you’d be playing a better game.

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Since Intelligent Qube was mentioned may as well note that an indie game very blatantly inspired by it is coming out in a couple of days.

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There is a way to get the hat back. It doesn’t delete the hat permanently, but instead gives it to one of the monkeys in the levels. So you could keep exploring until you find a monkey. Alternatively, you could go back to the switch’s cave (the switch respawns) and hit it again, then repeat this process until you randomly have the hat again (the hat only reappears on Mario once you exit the cave by fast-travel or something).

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woo i beat proverbs wooo. i thought about it so much on the cruise, it would have been a really good cruise game

the replay function is cute

now i have to find where all those other minesweeper games you guys recommended went

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Press the ‘Cross’ button on your playstation controller to place a cube trap. press ‘Cross’ again, later, to ‘claim’ the cube on top of (or in the middle of falling onto) the trap. (i dont remember if they are called traps but theyre the blue squares you lay down). as you can imagine from this control scheme, you may only have one out at a time. little blue triangles float over them to help you remember them.

claim all cubes in a puzzle to clear it.

do not claim the black FORBIDDEN CUBES (real name) only the green and whatever fucking texture a given stage has cubes.

every forbidden cube claimed loses you a row of stage. each unclaimed bidden cube fills a meter at the bottom, which will deplete a row of stage every time it fills. if you get squashed by a cube, the puzzle will fly by you and all its cubes will fall off of the screen. claim every bidden cube and none of the forbidden cubes in a puzzle for a PERFECT, which adds a row to the stage.

green cubes are ADVANTAGE CUBES, leaving behind green traps. press your ‘Triangle’ playstation controller button to activate ALL green traps at once. they claim 3x3 areas of cubes centered on themselves. green triangles float over them

advantage cubes are both necessary to clear basically all puzzles even remotely close to perfect, and ticking timebombs. they impact big areas and all blow at once when you activate them. this means if you mistime claiming one advantage cube in relation to another, you render both useless lest you obliterate forbidden cubes with their blasts. advantage cube timing and planning is the real game, and it is the real game because the cubes refuse to cease their advance.

for the sickos amongst us (of which i am a member for sure in this case) there is also a par for every puzzle. this is measured in the number of cube moves beginning with the move where you CLAIMED your first cube. note this is not when you plqce the trap but when you claim the cube - often getting par requires deciding upon seeing the puzzle to make your first claim an arvantage cube multiple rows into the puzzle. matching par is BRILLIANT, besting the par is TRUE GENIUS. a clear must also be perfect to attain either of these. they are bonus points.

HOT QUBE HOT TIPS

after you activate a claim, the cubes briefly stop moving while it happens, and for a moment afterward. this is vital as the puzzles get larger and become harder to navigate with your tiny body.

the order you trigger your two different types of trap matters a lot. if for example you claim an advantage cube with your blue square and then press triangle a moment later, that new advantage square will be one of the ones activated. this can fuck you up massively depending on the situation.

you can keep pressing triangle in the hangtime before cubes move if an advantage tile claimed an advantage cube. there are a lot of times where you will want to do this

if youre on the final puzzle of a stage and dont have stage left to finish it properly, dont let yourself get run over and stuck at the end cuz the last row of stage will fall and youll lose. instead just bore a hole straight to the end of the puzzle ignoring the puzzle aspect entirely in favor of action. if its the last puzzle of a stage youre not fucking your survival just your score and you werent solving it anyway

anyway spoilers for the end but it turns out despite what the continue screen would suggest there are not 8 stages there is a secret FINAL stage called final stage and it removes the reminder triangles over your trap tiles you just have to remember and keep track of them in your minds eye

thats a lot of words ooOpS hope that explains it and isnt just word salad

edit addon: also if you press x REALLY fast after you first place a tile while the cubes are still unmoving you can immediately activate it before cubes start moving, and if you really were early in its placement might even have time to place a new tile nearby

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I will absolutely consult this next time I pull out the Playstation Classic. Perfect.

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I saw that.

Seems like a whole lot of work to find my hat and in the mean time I am in Undead Dark Souls V1.0.

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eve online : pulled like 50m isk out of a low-sec system doing gas harvesting, stored it in hi-sec, then jumped back in to do some mining for an achievement and got blown up by a chinese player who snuck up on me cloaked

when you feed a ship in eve it’s called “whelping”. luckily nothing of value was lost, ship is already replaced

these chinese dudes in the north of the map are cool, no hard feelings, undocking is consent to pvp. i just got lazy

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The monkey and the vulture did not have my hat.

It’s a testament to B3313 that I decided to just restart. I don’t think I had made much progress outside of 35 Stars? Really hard to tell though.

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I finally finished the « « Tutorial » » scenario « the price of deception » of Wizardry the five ordeals.

It was grueling. The last 3 floors took me more time than the first 10. Terrifying giant enemies everywhere. Status effects mass damage and instant death.
The team died once as I told before. I trained another team to rescue the first team. Then I had the first team die again (to gold dragons). This time my beloved Samurai Susan-oh-oh got sent straight to the graveyard. I didn’t even know a party wipe meant the chance of losing a character forever.

Is this what Hard Wizardry is supposed to be? No. Again, this scenario is not even one of the five ordeals. Its difficulty is rated 2 stars ouf of 5 in-game

I replaced my samurai with another mage. Black mages are the best and coolest in Wizardry.
When I play another scenario I WILL use 3 mages (ninja / priest / lord / 3 mages could work?) Maybe even four mages can work



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