BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR
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Suzerain is very very good, one of the most politically fluent games I have played. I love how many contradictions exist in the nominal politics of every faction, and I love how almost impossible it is to escape the orbit of an ostensibly socialist past, a black hole of hypocrisy. And the capitalists are strictly worse, comfortable with direct immiseration: corruption in the open rather than the private corruption of the soviet analogs.
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Ah, yeah, it figures that after google got a heatmap of all the walkable spaces on the planet, their next goal would be to gamify improving their image identification.
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Gunvein’s tutorial starting by teaching the player the differences between Micro and Macro dodging rockets it to the prime vertex of shooting vertex oratory with the pulsing sewage of shmupforums covering the rest. I go into a LOT of recent shmups with an open mind and enjoy many of them but this feels like the first one to really attempt to recon with a post crimson clover world (although the Ikaruga font and brust system is a lovely touch) by focusing on the genre’s aggressions but through careful patterns and systems over rank chaining.
Planned to make a joke about playing the hot new switch game released today after years of impatience but I might actually believe that now!
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So I saw this in the Steam new release list today and decided I should try its demo:
Warning of some light nudity on the store page.
I… the game is a lot and I’m not sure in a good way. You play as this guy basically stalking a lady with the purplest prose imaginable, the game is fully aware he is a moron and a twat which is something but he is a bit annoying. I kinda like the presentation, basically bits of renaissance artwork cut and pasted around the place, and there are some other minorly clever presentation bits that got a mild chuckle out of me. The gameplay felt rather bad though, I could not grasp exactly how to handle this sliding around platformer by the time the third stage came around as then you have to shoot enemies and are easily blown up; I repeatedly got exploded by projectiles I don’t feel that I could have realistically seen coming. Given that the second stage between these two sliding ones was basically the world’s worst version of QWOP as you try to keep up with your dad as he reminisces about the time he banged your intended paramour’s mom years ago and how 9 months later she gave birth to your stalkee.
I am vexed as it feels like there is a way this could be okay and mechanically at least perhaps I’m just missing something that’d make it much more playable, equally likely is it being a truly noxious game I am being way too kind to. In either case it could catch on, people will come back and see this post and call me an idiot for not recognizing its brilliance/awfulness.
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Fortnite is one of the best games I’ve ever played.
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finished marl kingdom, playing zone of the enders 1 and saga scarlet grace, going to co-op marathon mgs2 once i’m done with zote then play crimson shroud, burning rangers and saga 2 gb next 
streaming has really helped motivate me to start playing games more
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Tell us why you’re telling us this
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Sure. First as a Dad with limited free time when I do get the time and play with friends and strangers I am always on an even field. Despite all the cosmetics and unlocks and what have you the game stays the same. But unlocks and cosmetics are known perfect dopamine drips that make you Log In.
Personally I log in because the game is fantastic. It has wonderful chaos physics. You can set buildings on fire. Movement is fantastic. The vehicles are bouncy weird objects. Choosing what items to keep in my six inventory slots tickles my brain every time.
It really encourages team work and coordination. I love playing with my friends. We usually lose interest after a month or so. We’ve been playing Fortnite for like 9 months. I have big hearty laughs every time. The terrain and navigating it is great. That it changes almost every week is also great. That physical tonight scratched out a win for our team after all of us had been picked up by stray sniper fire was exhilariating. I watched her Jedi Double Jump up a rock quarry to take out a sniper and then almost have a panic attack before the last combatant died outside the storm circle.
The stolen funny dances and All Your Favorite Characters is just a bonus. Like when your destroy the brain stem of Rick Sanchez or use a katana on The Batman Who Laughs or take out multiple different Tom Hollands or the final kill is some 21 year old celebrity with 5 million followers and you’ve never heard of the chuckle-head till they were in Fortnite.
I’d be happy to play a few games with you some weeknight and show you around. It’s completely free and we play in no-build mode. Like we as a communuty have been playing it for a long while now and have collectively really enjoyed it!
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The other night I entered a portal to talk with Obi-Wan about becoming a jedi and when I exited with a lightsaber seconds later I said “I’m Luke Skywalker!” and was immediately sniped to death by a snakeman who had been hiding in the attic of a nearby house, maybe one of the funniest things that’s ever happened to me in a game, levels of regret for not capping that: 5.5 out of 5, that moment not really a credit to the game’s design or anything but what a moment I will never forget, the time I said “I’m Luke Skywalker!” nanoseconds before being executed, bet something similar happened to JFK except he probably said the name of some cowboy or radio serial hero or a dope from Gasoline Alley or whatever the Luke Skywalker of his generation would have been.
I am talking about the same game Rudie is, I just don’t like using its name, I’ve fed the beast enough as is, I don’t want to do it anymore even though it is more often than not a very fun time.
Also I lied it was Anakin I talked to I just didn’t want to say “Skywalker” twice in one sentence, this is called “creative license” and “having the soul of a poet”
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you really havent lived until youve drilled rick sanchez in the head from half a mile away with a single sniper rifle bullet
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This is the perfect sequel to that Jedi Knight story about being called a racial slur during online play
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Bow, Pickle Rick
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So I ended up with a clear gaming schedule and although I had concerns about re-using the same overworld from a previous game if everyone I know is gonna jump on the Zelda I probably should as well…
…wait, what do you mean there is another Zelda game that does that?!?
(Had the game for years, heck was one of the main reasons I bought a 3DS and people always asked me why I hadn’t played it yet. Had to wait for the funniest possible day to start…)
Anyways it seems fine so far, really wish I could control Link with the d-pad though.
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Secretly one of the very best games Nintendo ever made, and certainly one of the best in the Zelda series.
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playing world of warcraft. since everyone knows what wow is, here are a selection of my screenshots instead
fishing conversation
the melancholy of tegiminis the warrior
riding a catfish
winning a pvp match by 1 ticket (like in battlefield), where the enemy team was at 15 when we reached 1
embracing my inner pirate
first time healing in pvp, a 10v10 bg
8 polygon spider lod
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WANTED: DEAD is someone’s deranged idea of a PS2 game (the store page claims it is a “love letter to the sixth generation of consoles”), especially because it is literally a 360/ps3 era game so hard that i have to believe this is an intentional joke on their part. It has cover shooter mechanics and you hack people apart with a katana and do john wick shit with a pistol.
There are many deadly premonition style cutscenes where the main characters, who are literal war criminals recruited into the death squad of the hk police, literally talk about everything but the plot of the game, which they seemingly have no interest in. In fact, the whole conspiracy ends up getting blamed on “the bank.” There is zero elaboration on anybody but the main character, outside of files that say stuff like “His nickname is THE BEAST because he is an extreme lover of women.” In one of these scenes you watch the protagonist pick at her fish head soup and food cubes for 2 minutes while a disturbingly detailed cat model observes.
All the voice acting is like bizarre european accents (one of the protagonists first lines makes her sound like tommy wiseau), strangely placid english man with microsoft sam affect, or cop NPC from max payne 2. speaking of between every mission you watch a billion cutscenes at the police station which is 4 floors and ENORMOUS like it was built for fucking giants, and also it looks like the max payne 2 police station. every cop NPC looks low detail and will unprompted say shit like “This must be the zombie unit’s doing.” “Any incident with the ZOMBIE UNIT usually ends in a pile of dead bodies.” “You’ve been very active lately…how many people did you kill today?” “Please change your ways a little.” in monotone. If they’re not at the police station they’re at the ramen shop referencing tampopo before you have to do a ramen slurping rhythm minigame or at the diner talking about milkshakes and reading the sound and the fury until the chief calls and is like theres terrorism afoot! time to shoot people! and when you do shoot people they either die by going YAAAAAGH like the deus ex guy or output an endless stream of generic combat barks. I had to fight a multiple man boss who looked and sounded like Tom Cruise named MR. HOLIDAY who just kept saying “I feel nothing.” and “Kill…you!” over and over again
Your boss sends you to the park to blow up striking androids or something and then freaks out when he sees the literal pile of bodies you left in your wake, so he gives you a long rambling speech about a special germanic horn that inspires men to fight and die in war, and also fatherhood, and then literally tells you that you will have to make Hard Decisions and take care of The Boys. All the loading screens are a recreation of a famous gif
Me and GUNSMITH (quiet from mgs5) did karaoke to 99 luftballons to raise the team’s EXCITEMENT LEVEL. GUNSMITH is a weird cat lady who smells like piss according to her personnel file. She has CATS because GUNSMITH CATS (seriously.) Everyone comes to her to talk about their love life. The police station we work in has a rotating playlist of a cover of i touch myself by the divinyls and a fake pop song that sounds like it is from the disney channel circa 2007 called NO BACKSEATS. I played the claw game in the break room for like 30 minutes and then the main character passed out, and when a flashback started it was animated like 2004 anime, because it is 2004 in the flashback. I’m losing my fucking mind at this game. I hope you got your coffin preordered
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I played the demonschool demo. It took maybe 15-20 minutes. Maybe less. I didn’t hate it. The battle system actually had me think in a way I didn’t expect. Much like with Signalis I rolled my eyes at all the Japanese High School Is Our Pop Culture Too.
If you looked at it and thought it looked Persona-y you’d be right!
There should be a button to auto-advance text either hold or press. After all my PC Engine experience going to a game that does not have super fast text is shocking. PC Engine games have such fast text!
The demo’s on Steam until the 15th, might as well give it a shot.
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Was there ranged attacking? In my quick stab at it I was only able to attack by bull-rushing my characters through the opponents, which seemed weird.
Bonk’s Revenge (GB)
Bonk’s Revenge for Game Boy was a relatively late entry in the series, coming out in 1994, between the two SNES Bonks.
^ Contemporary professional reviews for Bonk’s Revenge (GB) appear to have been pretty low (71%–although the majority of these are German, and the quoted); most criticized is the length and difficulty, which were found to be short and low.
It’s the second Bonk game for Game Boy–the first being a port of Bonk’s Adventure–and was titled GB Genjin 2 in Japan; but in the West, Hudson gave it the same title as the second console Bonk, from two years prior: B.C. Kid 2 in Europe and Bonk’s Revenge in the States.
The Bonk’s Revenge GB cart is kind of expensive now. GB Genjin 2 is half the price, as is the Japan-only compilation cartridge of all three GB Genjin games–besides GB Genjin 1 & 2, Japan also had a GB Genjin mini-game game. I got the US version of Revenge because:
The “Stealth Bonk” form was changed from a stereotypical Japanese thief to a stereotypical western thief. This change was made because Hudson Soft was scared that the original sprite would meet controversy over a racial stereotype.
– Bonk's Revenge (Game Boy) - The Cutting Room Floor
GameFAQs https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/games/company/77486-ai credits Revenge’s developer as “AI,” who had done the NES port of Bonk’s Adventure the year before (1993 in Japan, January 1994 in the States, the NES’s last year–and speaking of expensive games, that one’s now in the four-figures). In those years mostly they were doing a lot of console ports. They went on to do, among many other things, four Bomberman games, each on a different Nintendo platform. In their later years–ending in 2013–they focused on Nintendo handhelds.
Revenge’s title screen, though, credits just “Red,” which would be short for Red Company–also on the title screen of PC Genjin 2, even though GameFAQs credits a small company called Mutech for that one. (They credit Hudson for Bonk’s Adventure on both GB and TG16, and for Bonk 3.)
Mobygames Bonk's Revenge credits (Game Boy, 1994) - MobyGames lists Special Thanks to “People of Hudson & Red and you!”
The Super Game Boy “enhanced” indicator on the cart label.
When the game is used with a Super Game Boy or Super Game Boy 2, stages of the game get their own custom palettes, some UI elements are colorized, and the game runs inside its own custom border.
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