Is it anti-Semitic to make your Nise Bob Dylan an Italian?
Like, how high does that rank on the Dizzy scale
These are currently the three sweetest words in the English language, to me.
Followed by this
If I had billions of dollars would I fund the passion project of a very minor Australian rocker whose main influences seem to be Starship and x-entertainment.com? Maybe. Guys like this make me look really, really good in comparison. And I already look really good.
You can make anything happen in digital. Especially if you have money. So why not dress your protagonist up like he’s gonna play laser tag and have him slowly walk around his sleepy suburban town, dealing out Don Dokken-style licks so nasty they cover all those bougie boutiques in tastefully arranged Christmas lights.
This is rock 'n roll. This is what I call America
The alien is accompanied by an elderly Black man who is the second person in the game to recognize this white boy’s secret ability to rock. The first was a Daria who does crimes. Hopefully the third will be a homosexualist from Uranus* who says it’s okay for Li’l Nephew to use ‘gay’ as a pejorative, as long as you can shred guitar real good. Then this will truly feel like wish fulfillment aimed squarely at me.
So this is a world where Bob Dylan died in the motorcycle wreck and, don’t forget, was Italian. But it’s otherwise pretty much the same, like they even had skiffle bands and the Legendary Stardust Cowboy, that’s so fucking wild, man, my mind is so blown, I can’t wait to play another 4 hours and find out my Italian uncle faked his death and is touring the stars and hopefully there’s a really fucking awful Bowie tribute in there, I am having such a good time playing this now and I am pretty sure I’m not still drunk from last night. I’m pretty sure this is the 44th best game of 2021. Somewhere around there.
*Pronounced like Sinatra on “What Time Does the Next Miracle Leave?”