Now that the ukraine itch bundle is over I’m moving back from the Random Games thread to the main thread to talk about games I’ve played from that bundle. It’s a big post so i’ve hidden the whole thing. I saved the best one for last though.
buncha games
The Wratch’s Den
What a cute game!! A roguelike version of Dungeon Keeper, basically, with lots of little touches that keep it interesting. Much closer to a pure “rogue” game as well, given its actually-turn-based approach to everything, although I would say that it doesn’t have much in the way of interesting interactions between objects.
I beat it on Easy and called it good though - I didn’t feel like I wanted to beat it on higher difficulties since I wasn’t that interested in the mechanics. Still, I highly recommend it to anyone who likes Dungeon Keep and its ilk - it’s a fascinating single-session take on the premise.
Route Me Mail and Delivery Co
This is an Australian game. I guessed this because the title is a joke about getting “rooted” i.e. fucked which only makes sense in Australia. I learned this from a podcast about history hosted by an australian. This made me feel smart.
The game is like “What if paperboy was a parody of gig work” but it’s not very funny? It’s mostly about running around frantically trying to deliver mail, there aren’t really that many…jokes in it. It’s actually just really depressing.
I love love love the graphical style though, it’s weird as hell. All the houses are a bunch of flat objects stacked on top of each other, you can climb on top of them as well, it’s weird. I think this was made in Smile Game Builder which also rules.
So yeah, land of contrasts etc. etc. I appreciated the effort but it made me sad to play it.
It’s Six Random Characters and a Single Floor Dungeon, That’s the Whole Game
This is cute. It’s a first-person dungeon crawler but, as the title says, there’s only a single floor. You also start with six random (not randomized) characters that have titles like “Goblin Juggler” or “Myconid Emomancer.” They all have skills, special traits, stats, etc. that make them unique and interesting. It’s all vaguely game-boy styled as well. It’s cool!
I finished it in one go though and didn’t really feel the need to come back to it. I was mostly amazed at how much effort went into this game I could finish in 15 minutes, and this also spawned a discussion with @AutomaticTiger about how cool it is that RPG Maker offloads all the work of…making an RPG engine so that you can just Make Stuff Like This.
Vulture
This game is not meant to be played in 4K and I am not changing my resolution to play this game, sorry. Seems fine?
Pawndemonium
It’s a chess-themed defense game where endless pawns just rain down on you and you have to make your own chess pieces to defend your end of the board. I sucked shit at it and found it deeply boring, so I turned it off, but I could see how this would be appealing. Neat concept, not my thing.
Sky Rogue
https://img.itch.zone/aW1hZ2UvNjQ3Lzc3Njk2NS5naWY=/original/Z1x8AX.gif
Looks cool, sounds cool, boring as hell. The roguelite structure letting down another game that could have used some real mission design IMO.
I really, really wanted to like this game but it just felt like mush to me, kinda. It was basically just “leave your floating air base, kill the target, come back” and there wasn’t much complicating that. Every time I died was from boredom - I kept crashing into things because I wasn’t paying attention.
Sorry Sky Rogue.
Safari Zone
I can’t say anything about this game without being tremendously mean but I’ll just say “if your pokemon clone is somehow more banal and uninteresting than pokemon red/blue you have to reconsider your priorities”.
Golf Peaks
This game proves that I can’t stand good things and only like garbage. This game is good, and I hate it.
It’s a cute golf-themed puzzle game where you essentially choose the order of your moves (which are given to you at the beginning of the stage) and the direction you use them in to get into the hole. It’s got nice music, easy controls, appropriate theming, and cute graphics. I hate it so much.
I think my main issue with it is that it’s extremely competent but has no edges left. Also, any puzzle where there’s only one solution but it’s also kind of trivial to brute force it is going to leave me feeling cold. The opposite of Baba Is You where brute force is rarely an option. I felt like every puzzle was simply a test of patience, and I never learned anything interesting.
It’s a fine game! I’d recommend it as a mobile game! I despised it.
Omeganaut
It’s essentially a prototype of a starfox clone, and the music was recently removed for Some Reason so it’s mostly silent. A reminder that Starfox on the SNES is mostly atmosphere and isn’t actually that good.
I hope this gets better because it looks cool, but it’s not very fun to play in this state.
T.A.R.S.
NO
Lizard Lady vs the Cats
This game proves that I can’t stand good things and only like garbage. This game is garbage, and I love it.
I’m pretty sure this is what people are talking about when they talk about Bullet Witch. Walk around extremely bad levels while clones of the same enemy shoot at you. Some of them are stronger, indicated by their color. Some of them will roller blade at you and hit you with a sword.
The mouse movement is so sensitive that I had to basically aim by walking around and firing when my cursor was over an enemy. Conversely, controller camera control is so slow that turning 360 degrees probably takes about 4-5 seconds. The dodge roll is way too long, the walking is way too slow, the jump is the definition of Floaty
The sounds effects are weird and barely audible. The music is probably stock music named “Rock and roll (urgent 2)”.
The graphics are stylish but literally nauseating. The animations are laughable - jumping makes your character turn into a frankensteinish zombie with her arms held forward.
In other words, it absolutely rules in every conceivable way. I put this down to a few factors:
- The opening cutscene has Lizard Lady reading a newspaper that says “Cats murder 1,000,000 puppies for no reason”. She then turns to the camera and says
This is a very strong start
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Every time you die you get a new outfit, including a thong, a one-piece/leotard, a miniskirt, and more. The model has toes that look like claws and wears like, 12 inch heels. It’s ridiculous.
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There’s a bonus level that’s pure Geometry In Space video game bullshit but
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It’s about 30 minutes long
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This is the ending screen:
Could not recommend this more highly, as long as you’re okay with being blinded.
Been having a great time playing lots of meh games and a couple of real gems. Also I keep opening Throw Cubes into Brick Towers To Collapse Them and taking screenshots because I think it’s beautiful so have some of those:
