There wasn’t enough variety in the exploration in BotW
You’ve climbed one hill, you’ve climbed them all.
If they didn’t put a bunch of boilerplate identical tchochkes behind every hill and under every rock, I could have felt something special when climbing a mountain, but instead I felt coddled.
Don’t get me wrong, its the best effort from nintendo in a long time but the best nintendo can do is a smidge above mediocre.
I started playing Pyre and it is very pretty to look at but I am unsure if it just feels dry or if the pacing is just too slow but something feels off with it. I am maybe 90 minutes in and I have the sinking feeling it is gonna be a “five hour game that is stretched to ten” experience.
Fired up Dark Souls after a months long break and got 2 of the lord souls, bapow
Got a few questions here
Do final scores in horseshoes usually resemble the hitpoints of a lategame Final Fantasy character
Did farmers from Kansas often have curry recipes in 1992. I hope they’ve learned about roux since then.
Did those curry recipes often result in a dish that looks like, well, “cum-soaked tofu” or is this on me, and my inability to follow a recipe, cuz this game kinda controlled like shit, and almost all of the Hard Moral/Food Choices I made were an accident.
Was this before or after I squirted the mobster with goat milk? I cannot remember. If death is truly inevitable I kinda wish it had happened before I played this…!!! Just kidding, just kidding, it’s not that bad (it’s bad though). But “big ups” to the mobster for not whacking me. Truly a very progressive mafia for 1992. Or even today! Also thank you for showing that Black men and white men can both be in mafias together, author. I’ve never seen that before, in any kind of media, and it filled me with hope. Thank you.
I do now.
oh no Bachelor you went and played that man’s game
A great time was had by all.
Oh yeah big points for crowing about accessibility all the time but failing to include an option to invert mouse look
My people are valid and right — I tilt my head back took up, motherfucker!!
another tegpost incoming
i don’t think i need to explain this to anyone. i still love the intro where you shoot enemies that just float there and go in patterns and if you master the pattern you can get an exact chain of 22 and then the music swells and you feel like such a badass and then you completely eat shit because it’s the MOST memorization of the older shmups and you’ve long since forgotten those weeks of daily practice but you remember just enough to almost full chain the first level and feel nice about yourself. ahem.
probably my favorite treasure game. i know it’s a normie opinion to have but damnit i’m exactly the type of sucker this game is for and i have legit cried (not with frustration, but with powerful emotion) at it.
these guys have a free-to-play spaceship broadside game called “stellar impact” that i reviewed once when i was on the MMO beat as a game journalist. this game is the same thing but with a 40k skin on top.
it’s basically one of those naval games where you try to maneuver your ships around to maximize gun coverage, and then you blow enemies to pieces. there’s some boarding action, capture ship stuff, fancy number crunching, but in the end it all comes down to how thick your armor is, how quick you turn, and how fast you can run.
i am sick of rogue-likes and yet this one completely sucked me in.
it’s a twin-stick, fake-isometric shooter where you play an android perpetually attempting to destroy the heart of not-skynet. there’s a lot of finicky, tactical mechanics like headshots and active reloads, on top of RPG stats that are simultaneously inscrutable and super helpful. attempt to forge a build that can take you to the heart and, eventually, on the next loop.
i think the “build” aspect of this game is what makes it shine above other roguelikes. you don’t get too much choice in weapons - you’ll find, on average, maybe 6 weapons per run, only 2 of which you can keep at any one time - but you get four attachment slots to customize them. on top of this, every weapon is unique and has specific perks that are ALWAYS associated with them, and then have “variants” that alter their core characteristics. you get tons of choices to make in every run, and learning how to pick the best for your class is how you eventually master the game.
there’s a ton here to dig in to and it’s mostly impenetrable so i think most people bounce out pretty quick, but i might sink 100+ hours into this game and not regret it at all. i’m already up to 30-ish.
however it has a global chat that is by default always visible - you have to turn it off every time you load up. i think it just connects to a discord server. anyway, as a chat for a game for gunfucking losers, the chat alternates between:
i keep it around for build advice and also because i find these sorts of chats fascinating in their repulsiveness, but it’s definitely a major stain on a first impression.
another twin-stick shooter by the crimsonlands guys. it’s basically crimsonlands with more defined levels. there’s some RPG-like mechanics about upgrading damage to specific enemy types by killing them and unlocking stuff, but i’m basically just playing every level in order and it’s working out fine.
perfectly serviceable, like jydge. i like the little dagon fishmen wearing suits. enjoying it well enough but will probably forget it exists immediately after finishing my time with it.
i was talking to @ellaguro on discord about pc gamer and she brought up baldies which reminded me of this game. found out it got a steam release and scooped it up for a few bucks.
it’s basically sim city but your sims are super finicky and operate according to the rules of the afterlife. that is, they go to their respective plane (heaven or hell), are processed for their actions (virtues or vices), and then move on (reincarnate, settle in the afterlife, join angels/demons, or fade away). as such you have to track your demographics more closely and learn what all the acronyms mean.
there’s a planet view to see what world you’re the god of, lots of fun graphs and map views, and - best of all - every time something happens in the game it plays a poorly-sampled audio sting at max volume, sometimes multiple times a second, completely overwhelming all your senses.
also there’s some cartoons making jokes. mid-90s lucasarts humor. passable.
Picked up Tank Mechanic Simulator, and have sunk a bunch of hours into it. It’s not a very good game, and by that I mean most of the things that would really establish it a game don’t seem to actually be in it. Like the info text talks about deadlines for jobs and shit, but I haven’t seen any, and cash flows so easily I don’t see how you could run out, the only major expense that runs up is buying tank blueprints so you can fabricate your own parts instead of buying them, but even buying them is cheap as long as you just buy rusted up old ones and clean them up yourself. I had to double check and nope, it’s not early access, ostensibly it’s “done”, even though there’s stuff like a welder sitting in the shop I can pick up but not actually do anything with.
It’s a very neat digital model builder basically. I don’t want deadlines or monetary issues anyway, just wanna clean up and piece together tanks and chill. Also sometimes you go out and dig up some tanks, which gets a little pokemonish. Lots of half tracks and armored cars before I scored that Tiger, and my latest big haul was a KV-2, especially once I got it back to the shop and find the damn thing is over 90% complete. Panzer IVs are somehow the rarest things right now despite being the most numerous German tank, but then IRL clearly has no bearing here, I’ve dug up multiple instances of Little Willie, the first prototype British Tank. This must be the Girls Und Panzer world or something, and these girls ain’t taking good care of their panzers.
The main thing that stands out on the assembly side of things is that the devs clearly have gotten more ambitious/detailed over time, while certainly some vehicles are inherently more complicated than others, like those sparse Soviet interiors don’t have many fiddly bits, there’s an obvious increase in detail with more recent additions. Engines as an example, T-34s and Tigers which appear to have been some of the first tanks in the game have engines that the blocks are basically solid lumps and the only parts you deal with are the more external bits like the heads, filters and such. The most recent addition the Panzer II’s engine on the other hand you really dig into, down to the individual valves and valve arms, rods and pistons. And while it’s nice they’re adding new stuff I feel like the disparity is noticeable to the point they should probably go back and update the older ones, especially given the next scheduled addition is the fucking Maus of all things. I think they’re having to reinvent some of the basic assets just to handle the thing because it’s so God damned big.
Yeah the orientalism only gets worse…
This game uses a lot of old tropes that you’d get from colonialist 80s - 90s flicks : Japan is a mythical foreign place full of wonder etc, the main character is a noble revered by his crew, he falls in love with the princess obviously and not a commoner, « the princess can actually fight!! », the romance is love at first sight and skin deep, the main character leaves at the end because he’s not from there
I may have been too kind on his game because of a good first impression, I liked the intro scene and movement
I may have been the reason Bachelor played Adios. Maybe there were 10 friends yelling at the bad game.
Maybe I would feel bad we were being overtly mean to a nothing game then Shrug would drag a wet 15 pound fish called The Artist’s Statement on to the table and I would think “Fuck You.”
If you keep yelling you solved art (of video games) you do not need 20,000 words explaining how you solved art (of video games). Especially when you game is incoherent in it’s verb description, sentence structure. The teo characters voices are too similar. Why does it make a stupid linking book noise for scene transitions. Why is the whole game I saw Snatch in 2018? What stupid screen writing book did you pull that said to set your work in a specific year and keep stating that year through the work, HACK!
Also it’s some blown out Vietnam story but the guy is read as total greatest gen. He only went to take pictures honk splurt.
If The Horse pt 2 was a joke then great it was hilarious. Nothing says this thing is a comedy and you’d spend 6000 words to explain the joke.
The characters don’t work the environment did nothing to enhance the narrative the game parts were horrible and confusing and any pathos is buried as the characters constantly state how they feel. Oh and guess you read the wikipedia page for American Chestnut Trees, dorkus.
Once Upon A Crime In The West has elevated to high art after this horseshit.
It’s rare to come across a game with such Forums Poster energy, so I’ll give it that
I’m playing Dragon Quest V on the SFC in Japanese. It’s going to take fifty years translating every text box but I want to play this game like this and I’m enjoying it. And no it’s not because of that game critic
Happy to answer any language questions! I played about 7 hours of the DS version before I remembered I don’t like Dragon Quest.
Trying to parse item names was the hardest part honestly.
Is it all puns?
the item names so far are simple and descriptive
Nah just katakana that made me tired.
the plot of this game has finally been revealed and everything that’s going on is because one yakuza faction has too many cool guys in it and the other yakuza faction has too many snakes in it. I think the omi alliance and tojo clan could of avoided this if they just got together and done some trades
