Games You Played Today: 358 Threads Over 2

Throw twice in a row. They only dodge the first one.

Honestly throw is so fundamental to Control that the first part before you have it just feels like the game is lying to you. “Oh yeah, we’re totally a gun game, promise!” it whispers in your ear.


This stuff was entirely superfluous to everything that makes this game good and the more I reflect on it the more I can’t even conceive of what made them do this. How much it damages the game depends on how much it gets in your way but just an all-round unforced error.

FYI Quantum Break is Control if it was less superficially weird but more structurally weird with zero of the GAAS loot pinata stuff, I can’t not recommend it in any Control discussion


The absolute funniest thing about Quantum Break is how the included television show stars some random programmer guy instead of the main character or anybody charming or important, so the game goes from time shenanigan shooter to “cancelled mid-season ABC show”


Yeah, that’s enough to knock off the shield and then I miss with my gun (I’m playing with a controller like a smart person) and the shield regens before I have enough juice to throw again and repeat

My improved strategy is to wound one (they’re always in pairs now), mind control it, and then take potshots at the still hostile one while it’s distracted


They’re a crutch when you suck at videogames cuba, and I need it

Plus I love picking up Unrealized Potentials I found in a box underneath this poster


20 posts were merged into an existing topic: uma no bov-san’s pretty derby

Settled into a routine the last few nights of beating a character’s story mode in WarTech and then goofing around in Crackdown which is still free on the still up and running XBox Live for 360 (sweet). This is such a snow day sleepover Happy Meal at midnight extended rental video game. Like if GTA and SM64 had a baby and left it on a random shelf at Blockbuster Video.

So you get missions to carry out across this sandboxopolis with all the freeform pursuit of hoppiness as Mario (the jumping doesn’t feel as good though nor does the ledge grabbing, or the running, or the swimming, etc. etc.) but it’s all delivered in gross Rockstarisms (crass caricatures of filthy Russian mobsters, an Eastern European women who gasp has muscles and does steroids or something, a shrunken Asian crime lord rendered a hair’s breadth away from Roswell alien) and NPCs shouting “Fuck” and “Shit” every 6 seconds) and those Rockstarisms have the usual effect on me: I tune out and just don’t fucking care about some corny crime caper. Especially since the gunplay is a lightweight lukewarm lock-on fest. But the jumping. That does kinda make it alright. And tossing a grenade into a crowded street to watching the flaming bodies fly… Ok, I am susceptible to some Rockstarisms! Ultimately, like every GTA (except for Vice City) I probably won’t beat this one but I will collect as many agility trinkets as possible to max out my dude so I can leap from skyscraper to skyscraper while raining down grenades upon my fellow bastards in blue.


from what i remember, pretty much every mission in crackdown is “go here and kill everyone present”, which becomes trivial once you get the long range sniper rocket launcher. so i guess maybe they really did just have combat because it’s a aaa game and they have to have combat in there somewhere amongst all the jumping?

if you really don’t intend to finish it, here’s a spoiler your noticing that everyone you kill is a minority or an immigrant is not coincidental: in the ending, the voice over that’s been giving you commands thanks you for your work in the field of ethnic cleansing, as it turns out you were the bad guy all along!


Don’t stop upgrading all your skills. Each upgrade changes your physical appearance in addition to making the mechanic more fun. The driving skill will alter the appearance of agency vehicles when upgraded and at some point the Agency dune buggy/SUV vehicle will get the ability to grip walls so you can drive up the sides of buildings. Bounding across rooftops while headshotting dudes effortlessly will be a thing eventually but by then you’ll also be able to pick up and throw vehicles and punching and kicking just about anything will be enough to send it flying. At its higher levels strength gives you a satisfying ground pound ability.

Kills for skills, agent! Kills for skills!

I was playing Crackdown 2 recently and decided it was a good game, at least as good as the first, but because it was balanced towards co-op solo play is a slog until you’re powerful enough to take on the hordes (and one thing that makes it just as good is there are literally hundreds of enemies on screen at certain times of day, talk about easy kills for easier skills yes this pushes all my dopamine buttons).

I think Crackdown 3 is still on game pass and in that one the multiplayer has cool destructible environments that unfortunately didn’t make it into single player. Like, you can collapse whole buildings. Also it’s pretty and has a much better vapor wave-y aesthetic but other than that is basically the same game as the first two.

Oh and you can be Terry Crews.


I think the thing I like most about Crackdown, and hate about Crackdown 2 and 3, is it is short. Like, 3 hours short. I got that game and beat it in an afternoon and felt fucking ~great~. More sandbox games should be short.


The first crackdown had a great end-game twist where it’s revealed that the cops engineered and organized the grossly stereotyped gangs so they could engage in a fascist coup


I will keep playing til wallcrawling vehicles are a thing cuz that sounds fun. I don’t know about its development but Crackdown being free on XBLA, with its simple moon jump as back-of-the-box bullet point (like a variable the devs might crank up for lols after hours and eventually groom into gamehood), open world environment (an of its time super novelty), GTAttitude, and flexible studio-side-project-friendly mission structure are all charming in a loose-toy-in-the-cereal box sort of way that the narrative set dressing is not.

That twist ending makes total sense and I feel less bad for not finishing it but also interested in doing so to see how they handle it. Thematically, I haven’t seen anything that would make it less than groan-worthy but I did pick up on the signs of satire, like “Kills for skills, agent! Kills for skills!” and “Cleanse the streets of crime” or whatever it is they say when you initiate a mission. Whiffs of Verhoeven, filtered through too many group calls in the studio conference room. What, am I supposed to feel guilty for how fun it is to leg-launch myself over 12-story buildings? The Robocop sheen of the loading screen is something though. Not a bad thing to look at while waiting.


Of course you’re not supposed to feel guilty, the game’s satire is pitched as less in-your-face than robocop but it is still pure robocop at heart. It’s a funny game, and the funniness mostly comes from its fairly explicit mockery of cops rather than trying to guilt you over participating.

My favorite line, though, is if you accidentally run over pedestrian, I can’t remember it exactly but it was a very on the nose “Agent, we understand that the lives of these people doesn’t seem worth preserving, but try to drive more carefully”


I’m caught between overthinking and underthinking this game. It’s only the gameplay that’s made me laugh and that was the perverse (in the basement as a teenager with the cousin’s PS2 + GTA3) pleasure of like throwing a grenade into a minivan and watching the driver’s flaming body fly into a pedestrian who then ran away into oncoming traffic and caused a pileup so that one driver stepped out of their car and immediately off a bridge into the water some 100 feet below. The way you can brutalise and toss around civilians… is that part of the satirical schtick? I’m honestly wondering now about how well the tone and intentions permeate the gameplay. I’m going to play more. I think I did write it off and turn down the volume a bit too soon in the name of just jumping (which is still the best part).


The twist doesn’t justify the story or make it any good. No one here is saying that though.

Climbing the agency tower when you have found enough jump beans was the highlight for me.


im stubbornly refusing easy controls in ace combat 4, and i almost beat the second level…turning around is hard. pressing triangle constantly when all you wanna do to look at things after centuries of playing dual stick games where right stick is camera adjust always is hard. its hard. bombing things on the ground is NOT HARD, its just weird because all i want to do is afterburner climax stuff, but i like it when they say pickle, pickle!

i dont think ill ever beat this game but i might get past the second level someday


Still Plugging at Shadow of Tomb Raider. At the penultimate area and loving the bonus tombs. Then I just peaked at the main story and…destroying an image of Jesus was not on my Lara Bingo Card.

That crypt does rule though. The level designers and concept artist really went nuts. If I get real close to my 40 inch I can soak in all the detail but from my couch in the dark really hard to make all the stuff.

It’s weird I kind of like how tedious and boring all the NPCs are. That they are all overly wordy and Lara stands their like a dead Blender render.

Also have lolled at how FF7R clearly took some animation from this.


Crackdown is also interesting I think mainly due to it’s pedigree. It’s the creation of David Jones, who created Lemmings and the original Grand Theft Auto when he was with DMA before the Houser brothers moved in and it became Rockstar North after Vice City.


The thing I really appreciate about the game is looking at the vast expanse of architecture with all the beckoning collectibles on rooftop corners and having to figure out how to engage with the geometry to get them. I liked Grow Home for this reason. It even cropped up in the mostly awful Yooka-Laylee at the outer edges of the first stage, that feeling of “Am I meant go this way? Are these actual capital ‘P’ platforms?” This goes back to 3D Marios feeling overly curated etc. It’s what I love about urban hiking and enjoy having that sensation extended into virtual spaces.

Edit: Ah ok this guy was also involved in Body Harvest and Space Station Silicon Valley, niiice.