I am downloading Quake stuff for this week’s Beautiful Game. Here are some skins I found. No, none of them are the Karnov skin I made 20 years ago.
I have not found any Barney skins yet but there are a few Pooh-related skins. It’s a great humiliation to get “fragged” by someone posing as a children’s cartoon character. Especially if they’re a “LPB”* and you’re stuck using dialup cuz your mom won’t spring for DSL**.
If you play Quake with us this weekend you should make your own skin. It is easy. It can be done in MS Paint. These all look fabulous in game. This is the ultimate form of personal expression.
This site no longer exists but I want to believe it made extensive use of the “blink” tag and had a really offensive soundboard loaded with clips of the Jerky Boys, Jeff Dunham, bababooey bababooey, and every single time Schwarzenegger used a slur.
Do people still rage about ‘camping’. Do you think this skin was made by a camper, that it is an ironic skin, that he thinks anyone who hates campers must be a nerd? Should we ban camping in the Beautiful Game competition? Please sound off…in the replies.
I never understood how anyone could like Spawn without a cape, or why an artist would want to draw a body rather than a cape. It’s so much more fun to draw a cape than a torso, or feet. But I get why they wouldn’t use a cape in a movie: cuz superhero movies suck.
There aren’t as many superhero skins as I expected. Lots of cops and army guys though. I suppose superheroes often another kind of cop but at least they’re usually colorful.
This is scream.pcx. It is not from the Scary Movie. If it was it would probably have white stains all over it. I have never seen Scary Movie but I know it has ejaculate in it. One of my nephews told me about it. He was too young to be talking about ejaculate. You should not show children R rated comedies, but if you do please make sure they’re mature enough not to describe an ejaculate scene during Thanksgiving dinner. Thank you.
This one was very disappointing, let me tell you. Wasn’t even mug shot Marv Albert. Was just some goofy looking guy, tongue all hanging out, like he’d be the Bill the Cat of a Quake themed webcomic, one that would still inexplicably be running today and have a group of half dozen devoted fans who still have fark as their homepage.
These aren’t as good as Asia Carrera’s Unreal Tournament skins but they are still pretty erotic. It would not be shameful to have cybersex using these skins. I think you can only do straight sex in Quake though; its engine was very powerful for its time but I’m not sure it can handle gay cyber.
This is Posh Spice yes. This is the most charming skin of all. This is the only Spice Girl I’ve found.
This one too. If you got calves like that gimme yr digits.
This is a screencap of a comic I read last night. It was kinda fucked up. I’m obligated to include at least one non-sequitur image in every post.
This is the most powerful skin of all but also probably the most racist that isn’t a cop.
This is “reservoi.pcx”. I do believe that is Harvey Keitel as “Mr White” but it is slightly warped, and low resolution, so there’s a small chance it’s Tarantino. Getting fragged by Mr Pink would be the greatest humiliation. I’d rather die at the hands of Doug from Doug. Going through these skins has made me think that the 90s may have been a low point when it comes to toxic masculine icons, as they are all so fucking lame on almost every level.
Here’s a photo of that time I auditioned to be in one of the Crow sequels.
I did not get the part. They said my body type was “far too powerful, especially in the haunch region.”
Anyway come play Quake with us this week.
Seeya.
*“Low ping bastard”, typically someone with a cable modem or access to a T1 line which allowed them to mainline 1337 juarez and cheat at Quake.
**“Digital subscriber line” – get your head out of the gutter.