seaman update 2
31/10/25
the grubman has turned into a mothman with very beautifully textured fuzzy thorax, wings and antennae, in addition to the usual human face. i only have one bc i fed the other caterpillar to the seamen already, breadcrumbs being low, so i’m already a little apprehensive about figuring how how the lifecycle of the bugs work… the seamen respond to halloween by saying “i see you’re wearing your costume. very scary.” when i say “i see you are too” they say “you know it” very suavely and swim away.
01/11/25
seaman asks a lot of very intensive questions about my family’s birthdays that makes it seem like he’s about to steal my credit card details. at the end he says “my knowledge of your family grows ever more complete…” he’s also very pleased to point out that my partner and dad have the same zodiac sign. i like that whenever he scores a point he gives this big shit eating grin. it feels like very sophisticated game design insight to have made a talking virtual pet be annoying and inscrutable on purpose, rather than constantly trying to be your friend.
02/11/25
when i logged in today he said “is your husband in the room..? come closer…” and asked me if i was having an affair. when i said no he said “well, it’s good noone is getting hurt” then scowled and shot poop at the camera. seaman craves drama, but i can’t help but feel it would be a very bad idea for anyone to use him as a confidant in this way. imagine finding out something was going on bc one day your partner’s seaman was like “so, about your affair…” or “is your husband gone yet? we’ll talk later.” i did remember reading he has lines abt bill clinton but i’m unsure what triggers them.
food is getting low, one of the eggs turned out to be a spider with a creepy skull face. i’m trying to go back to breadcrumbs for a while to let the caterpillars grow.
am i getting closer to whatever kind of content led to the dreamcast ad abt wanting to fuck a fish… who can say
03/11/25
the seamen are quite amiable today, they both grew a set of flippers that they use to do a dorky dance inside the tank. it’s pretty cute. he asked if i liked myself and if i was artistic and then said “ahh.. i like a woman with a skilled hand.” he also talked about seeing yourself on film and how the camera adds 10lbs. i got more caterpillar eggs.
04/11/25
more grubs at last… he ate one and said “oooh i’m a fat boy.” not very talkative today otherwise.
05/11/25
today both of the seamen had sex, as unpleasantly announced by one of them announcing “let’s see a love machine in action” and then mounting the other. after some pulsing loads being transferred from one to the other via their head tentacle the top one then rolled over and died and floated to the top of the tank. and the remaining seaman was just like “so… do you have a mac, or a pc?”
06/11/25
leonard nimoy in the loading screen delivers a sombre eulogy for the dead seaman, announcing “he spent his last energy ensuring the continuation of his species… i’m sure he had no regrets”. he also encouraged me to get seaman to push a big rock in his tank. if you grab the rock seaman will talk to you about it but first makes you solve an annoying riddle, like “if a man types 60 words a minute for 7 hours a day 300 days a year what does he get” (“carpal tunnel”). once you get the trick answers its not so bad although there’s also the parser to contend with. anyway i did answer one and got him to push the rock, which he does in an oddly cute animation where he stands up on his little flippers.
i like this illustration from the jp guide:
after pushing it he announced he was tired and started quizzing me for thoughts on the machine age to come.
07/11/25
more rock pushing. he asked if i like emails and said “those ‘emoticons’ can’t be expressed in words… smileyyyy.” lots more talk about computers, from the optimistic perspective of a 90s dreamcast creature. i tried not to demoralize him on this.
random dialogue as i try words he might react to: “do you like america?” “yeah, right… as if. ha ha ha.”
08/11/25
taking pity on my dumb ass, seaman asked me an easy one today (“how many legs does an octopus have?”). it then played a scene where he pushed the rock again, which this time made most of the water drain out of the tank (?). seaman now lives inside a little puddle and is too busy flopping to get out to have much conversation.
09/11/25
leonard nimoy says seaman is with child… when i logged in i asked “are you pregnant” and he responded “should i be?” and then continued trying to flop out of the tank. eventually after encouraging him (“you are handsome” “i like you” “good work”) he made it out of the puddle and crawled groaning onto the land… after a while of straining he pumped out 6 new little eggs and then said “that was fun. i’ll call you” and died. the new eggs have little seaman faces dimly visible within. unsure whether this resets them to baby stage or if the personality lives on, i guess i’ll see…??
either way RIP seaman. i’ll never forget your beautiful smile.
