I haven’t got there in my playthrough yet but I knew Gemma’s charm would eventually become the best superaccessory with the same certainty I knew I had to note the location of every magic and ultimate key door.
5 Likes
I got to the part in DQM3 where you go to
heaven?? And the dragon god is like yo you gotta do some DQ4 story mode in the future and I told him No as a joke. I did not expect him to get super pissed off, tell me to fuck off and ban me from heaven??? Oops
I was thinking he was putting me on though because he claimed I had to stop the monster villain and then lose my monster blood after and live as a human because it was my mom’s dying last words. Bitch, I was there for her dying last words - she just said something like oof ow I’m dying oy oh I see the pearly gates ok I wasn’t paying attention that much but she never said anything about losing monster blood and living as a human ok
Anyway, then back on earth, the thief guy was like, “you didn’t mean all that about killing humanity, did you?” And I accidentally mashed Yes because the choice command boxes always come out abruptly, and he got super mad and was like, “fine! We were never friends anyway!” And walked away mad lol
Funny that the elf wife still sticks by you despite your claim to kill all of mankind.
That’s true devotion.
4 Likes
i love that every new thing i learn about Psaro’s backstory makes me sympathize with him more and not even cuz he gets a chance to make new good points. it’s just everyone was a dick to him and then killed his girlfriend, and you learn they were all really fucking annoying to him about it the whole time. i cant really blame him for turning homicidal and becoming a 7-phase final boss
god im never gonna get over how fucking cool that fight is especially for a NES game
the animation @ 1:45-2:07 where his head disappears and then he grows a whole new head in his torso is so fucking good holy shit
9 Likes
the way the meetup house screamed at the meetup when that boss transition happened is a videogame thing I think about a lot
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I suspect that the DS remake team knew they had a legacy to uphold, and I swear that boss has a quarter of the entire game’s animation budget. The arm growth at 7:50 especially is incredible.
5 Likes
Oh no, does the Dark Prince turn into 7-phase Zorak?? Getting hit by 30 year old spoilers lol
2 Likes
Dragon Quest Monsters the Dark Prince is so funny because the dialogue is so stupid but the VAs are delivering the lines so hard, like their children are being held hostage and they’re gonna be slaughtered unless they do the best dumbest voices possible
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Like this part I just got to:
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The tonal whiplash of DQM the dark prince is so wild: in one scene the elf wife is begging the dark prince not to genocide all of humanity and to just live together peacefully in their love tower forever, and the dark prince pauses then responds with his basic “no” headshake and turns around and walks away like he was just asked if he was hungry or something. Then the elf wife cries dramatically and her tears fall and then she’s like, “if he won’t stop… I’ll have to make him stop by force…”
Black screen and then five minutes later I enter a new area and the elf wife is like, “WOW THIS LAND IS MADE OF CUPCAKES HEEHEE LETS RUNNAROUND!”
Like what happened
I mean, this is the general problem you get if you make your story progression modular but it’s really funny that the main plot is so dramatic and sad but all the B plot you have to do in between is so chipper it’s so jarring, it’s pretty great
11 Likes
I can’t wait to play DQIV right after this and finally understand all the plot that’s happening but I have no context about
Like there’s this healslime that became human and she went to meet a human friend that took care of her as a monster to get a souvenir from them, and they came back and gave me it and it turned out to be a Hero’s Cape? Which is like cool, I’m sure this is very dramatic if I knew the other half of this story lol
4 Likes
The dark prince had a younger brother?? And then I killed him?? With a slime??? And he was like, “heh you’re so strong. I’m glad it was you in the end, brother…” vanish
No bro, it was my Slime that KOed you, not me.
Also the brother frenzied a turn into the fight and killed half my team with his 3 turn actions and doing multi hit spells each time, what a bastard
Pretty funny that they drop that on you out of nowhere and then you kill him. He asks if you want to join his side before you fight - I wonder what happens if you say yes. Does the elf wife cry even harder then?
3 Likes
Lfjgghfhfh okay so there’s a part where the dark prince runs into the entire hero party of IV, but before they can rumble, a helper says I have to go back to my hometown because the elf wife has been kidnapped by humans. So when running back, the dragon god ominously says, “hey fuckin dumbass I hope you can see through the super thin layer of deception we’re going to throw at you next okay?” And upon getting home, everyone is like, “oh yeah humans came and took Rose (the elf) away but she came walking back just fine, haha”
Then when you go to talk to her, she’s like, “yeah I’m fine now but guess what! I found out who was the mastermind! It was your other friend who said fuck you and left us 10 hours ago after you accidentally mashed the A button and said you were gonna kill all of humanity!” And the dark prince is like, “oh yeah I did say that huh haha” and then the friend busts in and goes, “don’t fall for it, old pal! She’s a fake! The real Rose is in the forest right now, I saw the whole thing happen!”
And then you have to make a choice on who to believe. Your childhood friend/attendant slime is all confused but believes 100% that the Rose there there is 60% the real Rose though.
Anyway, if you talk to Rose, she talks about how you first met and how you’ll trust her, right? So, fool as I am, I say, “yeah of course I trust my elf wife. Get the hell outta here, human friend who cursed me out 10 hours ago and swore we’ll never meet again ”
And he’s like, “guhhh you fucking idiot! Fine! I don’t care what happens!”
Then it cuts to later when the dark prince, the elf wife, and the slime are having tea together and they’re all like, “wow that sure was a crazy thing that happened. I’m glad we didn’t fall for the fuckin lies by the liar human guy.” Then the elf wife is like “jk he was right im a liar” and turns into a succubus with a thick ass Scottish accent and laughs at you and then leaves
Cut to the elf wife getting the snot beat out of her by 3 generic muscle dudes in a forest, the dark prince running in too late to save her, and only to hear the elf wife’s last words of: “let’s just stay together peacefully forever. Okay…?” As she tries to grab your hand but it fades away before they connect.
The dark prince mourns as much as his basic animations allow but then he pulls some bracelet I’ve never seen before out of his ass, turns super saiyan and transforms into 7 stage Zorak. The game then has several cutscenes where he laser beams and destroys all the stages and towns you explored earlier, and illustrations of you wrecking even the lives of the monsters you helped save. Finally it cuts to the DQIV hero party confronting you on a broken throne. The hero slices off your limbs as the dragon god bemoans: “wow you’re such a fucking idiot I literally told you not to pick that option I can’t believe you still did it you fucking dumbass holy shit” to footage of your adventures up to that point, including screenshots of hanging out in one of the middle realms together with your human friend (who I stopped being friends with half way through the game so that screenshot never happened, the dragon is literally gaslighting me), finally the hero finishes slicing off all my limbs and I transform into stage 2 then stage 3 and all the other stages of Zorak until finally the hero finishes it off.
Just the most gratuitous DQIV fan service that means absolutely nothing to me because I haven’t played it yet lol
Anyway, then the game shows the dark prince back in his body in a black void as the human friend shouts to come back! And time slowly rewinds until you arrive back to where you have to make a choice on who to trust. The human friend stole some sands of time (a story element from earlier) and used it to bring the dark prince back from the future, and says now that I’ve seen the future, I’ll make the right choice, right?
So it kicks me back to the starting prompt and I go to talk to the elf wife again, who sadly mentions how her life began when we first met all those hours ago and of course I’ll trust her, right? So I’m like, “oh yeah of course I’ll trust you” and the friend screams, “you literally saw the future and you still made the wrong choice??!? Fine fuck off im out of here!” And the same cutscenes of death and destruction repeat, along with the time rewinding back to the first prompt.
It’s sooo funny that they let you just fuck up over and over, the ultimate infinite cycle of misery.
Anyway, I guess that could be a bad end if the game truly let me game over here, but it doesn’t. Pretty neat.
Also I thought this game was a prequel to IV, didn’t realize it’s both a prequel, concurrent side story, and an alternate universe all at once
11 Likes
Wow they made a whole game about Psaro, and retconned him from cool tragic hero into a dumbass who should have seen it coming. Very funny
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Had an amazing encounter a few days ago:
And also saw a cute scene inside a secret cave that only spawns during the winter:
I really like how the game creates little vignettes with monsters. They’re preset and always spawn that way, but it’s always cute to see how they create the impression of a living, thriving environment like that, unlike how Pokemon Scarlet/Violet has them dynamically spawn but they don’t do anything, just kinda roam around an area brainlessly.
5 Likes
I’m still chugging away at DQM the dork prince, but I get side tracked trying to make the ultimate Dark Puckle and Iron Maiden. I’ve copied skill lists down and check skill evolution to give them busted skills but I still as of yet haven’t gone the route of breeding their higher monster evolutions and then going backwards though. Castslasher is so useful (skill that cuts MP use by half) but I’m surprised it’s only on the starting elemental defense traits? I would’ve thought there’d be a higher evolution version of it.
It is frustrating though that some new B grade monster I breed has stats that are higher at lv 20 than my lv 60 E grade Iron Maiden (6th generation) so I might have to figure out reverse evolution breeding at some point just to get the stat benefit from it.
Also uhh I killed evil god form 2 and also Psaro’s brother I killed earlier somehow came back and gave me a magic key to go to the last level? Gotta kill some other evil god to finish the evil god trio??
Funny that my Dark Sabercat and Slimes are basically as strong as if not stronger than the Chosen One/Legendary Hero as his entourage though.
2 Likes