dark archie timeline


The comic described the Predator’s equivalent of a belly laugh as little chittering noises it makes with its face claw things.

But we know that’s bullshit because the Predator in the first movie has an amazing, utterly ridiculous booming vampire’s laugh

Like GRIMglam says Aliens and Predators also crossed over with Terminator and Robocop and Judge Dredd so I guess them and the Punisher too all personally know one another.


Anyway the best comic ever is Alien Loves Predator anyway.


you can hear a part of my brain depressurize as a compartment opens and all my memories of this webcomic, which until this post I forgot even existed, comes flooding back to me


just wait i’ve got more



i originally missed the last eppie due to real life but now i’m back on my bullshit again

  • if the black hood is really betty’s dad then it is really inappropriate how horny he sounds on those phone calls

  • the jingle-jangle arc now includes references to “the j.j.” and “the sugarman” as well as “straws of death” which makes me think the writers are having exactly as much fun with the concept of an archie universe drug culture as you might expect

  • lot of intense cheryl looks this episode but special mention to her inexplicable american flag shirt / jacket combo during an otherwise sad family scene

  • i am really excited to see more of the ghoulies since nearly all we know of them so far is that they reputedly practice cannibalism, drive hot-rodded hearses, have a leader who looks like ska jean-ralphio and wears a skull-covered bathrobe with no shirt, and are vaguely connected to sabrina the teenage witch in the comics version. all of these are promising directions imho

the two gangs deciding to settle things with a drag race was cool incl the fact that everyone showed up in grease cosplay (and who even told cheryl about this thing??) but i’m a lil disappointed it ended the way it did instead of going all the way. the sugarman reveal was whatever bc i don’t think i’ve ever remembered that character existed when he wasn’t actually on the screen but it seems a little neat to end it there.

i honestly like how memoryless and drama-free the interactions between the main cast are for the most part, like no matter what kind of plot complications arise they’re all just a single 30second reunion scene from being totally affable again, which is very non-stressful and also i guess projects the need for elaborate dramatic situations into an increasingly convoluted main plot which i am also pretty fine with.


yeah but who killed laura palmer am I right you guys


it was jughead


offtopic but i just remembered today that the AvP2 game actually plays predator’s dracula laugh whenever you do something especially heinous!!!

videogames are important :^)


my partner was only casually interested in the show until we both watched this happen and started high fiving each other and hollering. this show rules.

also we hypothesized that maybe Cheryl might be the black hood because you can kind of hear her inflections in the calls, even with the low modulated voice, but i’m sure the theory in this thread is probably the right one


this latest episode felt like a weird horror anthology episode, like it was meant for halloween instead. i liked it though cuz it was really dumb and fun and semi-anxiety inducing and these are all of riverdale’s best (?) charms


look this episode was literally all twists but no twist was wilder than the sheer amount of muscle mass sheriff keller has under his shirt




also i’ve been thinking about it and think predator’s dracula laugh in the film might actually be him mimicing sonny landham’s after shane black told him the echo joke from earlier. gamechanger if true.

this was a good ep!!! all the moment to moment tonal weirdness i appreciate in riverdale and a lot that felt gratuitously goofy even for this show. special favourite was betty and veronica manic girl-detective double team especially as a fit with all the keyboard vamping but the trucker and the very Deadly Premonition drug connection in neil young’s greendale were also highlights. also the pussycats angrily accusing josie of having “clawed” them in the backs. gotta remain on-brand.

the fondest memories i have of sabrina the teenage witch was that i was like 20 before i realised that Salem was a puppet. i wonder if the new version has one too or even better if they just animate the lips like A Talking Cat!?!


There’s a new Archie comic where Betty and Veronica run a biker vigilante gang by night called the Vixens because their boyfriends are wimps.


Show fukken rulez

Can’t wait to see season 2 whenever I’m able to marathon it on Netflix


fine I’ll fuckin watch the show gosh


for people who might not know this, Shelly from TP plays Betty’s mom and there’s also a picture of her that’s clearly from the first TP season

all the parents on this show are old 90’s teen stars or 90’s teen adjacent


Another easter egg

The bus Jughead was about to get on was headed to San Junipero


i’m glad archie and betty are bonding over their shared belief that a karaoke version of “mad world” is a sexuall club banger. what the fuck. also that archie makes an effort to be fine not talking about love with veronica but will guilt trip her as blatantly as possible when it’s a matter of karaoke…

hearing that the lodge’s penthouse is safe from attack because it’s a “fortress” and because andre is a master of kung fu really has me pumped for a riverdale version of The Raid or something

i think i’ve hit some private internal limit for snake jokes. “all snakes have soft underbellies” / “snake-infested waters” / “snake won’t let a pig tell him what to do” / probably some others fine but “snakes and ladders” thrown in at the end made me flinch irl

what a weird and horny episode. as cheryl says “get a room xenomorphs”