we eatin good tonight.
i have recently put myself in charge of been put in charge of a large collection of games, including a huge stockpile of @dylan’s old games. i have also finally gotten my act together and installed freemcboot on one of my memory cards (after a mildly disastrous attempt to purchase a preinstalled card). this means i have access to every ps2 game under the sun as well as a large number of ps360 hard copies. so, naturally, i’ve been going through my backlog of trash action.
in the order i played them…
swords of destiny:
it’s got a great dodge cos the camera gets all off-kilter but that is unfortunately the only cool thing about this game lmao. i’ll be the first to defend hut-hut-hyah gameplay but the encounter design is so trite and none of the enemies even look cool! also the whole world is grey and square.
dmc2:
idk man something about the action in dmc games prevents me from going sicko mode w them. it all just kinda feels like nothing and i think the fixed-camera is actually a poor fit; it’s constantly flailing around and elimination all sense of motion and weight. it’s such a shame cos i love fixed camera angles!
anyway i wish i liked this game but i just can’t chill w it. sorry everyone.
spartan total warrior:
lmao what a weird mixed bag.
on the one hand: the action is cool! it’s like a hefty kinda-sorta dynasty warriors type thing. it does a good job of keeping you involved and concentrating while also being fairly mindless in the moment-to-moment. but after the first level there are so many little issues that combine to sour the whole experience:
whenever the game requires you to do any platforming, for some reason the gaps between platforms are always at the absolute limit of what your (extremely limp) jump can accommodate. failing to clear a gap often just kills you outright!
the checkpointing system is needlessly austere: your health is saved at each checkpoint (already bad) and healing items do not replenish if you die, which means it’s really easy to soft-lock yourself and be forced to restart.
there are so many escort missions which are just designed to waste your time. i gave up on a mission where i had to escort archimedes through athens. having already used up all the healing items in the city (because the level had already gone on for 25 minutes!) i had to do this section with about 10% of my health, and archimedes is not only slow and stupid, but will stop moving if you go too far from him and cry out “spartan! please! come back! i need your protection!” before being insta-killed by assassins.
anyway it’s nothing new. it’s just a highly concentrated mixture of ps2-era design fumbles. my recommendation: play the first level then turn it off.
samurai western:
this shit fucking rules i love wearin my 50 gallon hat that gives me +10 MP i can’t believe this game hasn’t come up before. i wish there was even an ounce of level/encounter design tho cos otherwise it’s just kinda wandering around dusty towns gettin shot at by yahoos. it’s not perfect but i can hang out w it. gonna play way of the samurai soon.
demon chaos:
lol. lmao. pretty good/stupid. i appreciate that i don’t need to play any more than the first level to understand exactly what this game is about, but i don’t think anyone needs to play even that much. just watch a vid and be like ah yeah ok i see.
sword of etheria aka OZ (“over zenith” (lmao)) aka chains of power:
“sort of a terrier” is what all the old folks at the dog park say when asked what breed they have ha ha haa. this game is no good. it makes you hold down the right bumper at all times in order to lock on and also to perform the necessary “chain attacks” (the only interesting thing in the whole game) wherein you juggle enemies between party members to build a meter that lets you perform super moves. on paper it’s cool. in execution it’s a little imprecise and my hand hurts.
so not much that really blew my mind, but it’s good to be back in the saddle / dumpster.
more games soon.