Xanathar's Guide to Cleavin' a Goblin Clean in Twain (feat. D&D)


I’m really glad a situation came up in this session that let me use one of my best sailing ship jokes, but bummed that nobody in the game had enough of the necessary knowledge to get it

Lack of buttons isn’t so much a problem, but rather that it just makes me wonder if I SHOULD be worried about it

This was actually my original intention, but at the time, we already had a monk. He’s dead now…

I do, but for the punching rather than for the shield. I get to punch twice per full action and get 1d4+str per. I’ve been thinking of a way to get some kind of Cap/Thor action going on either with the shield or with my heirloom tankard.


Our games definitely get better the more awesome jokes I make

The point of playing dnd is to annoy your friends with horrible puns right


the setup for my joke was that we’d commandeered, via lots of punching and killing, a duergar slaving ship, and decided to take it over, and since I was the one who had been carrying the supplies up to this point, I was appointed as quartermaster, and I said

“So I’m the Boatswain then? If I have to take on the duties of Chaplain too, I should change my name to Higgs”


Yesssss this is the true meaning of dungeons and dragons


get it because I would give the other crew Mass


Sounds like Monk’s for you. Well, maybe. It’s a Dex/Wis class and you aren’t great at either. But like who cares.

Do you have Xanathar’s? There’s some very cool new Monk subclasses in there. I mean, assuming you’re intending on leveling your multiclass far enough to get a subclass. (I think Monk gets theirs at 3?) Shadow monk rules the most from the PHB if you ask me, but that probably wouldn’t fit your boisterous high charisma party animal.


Also at one point I foiled an assassination attempt and somehow (somehow) the would-be assassin ended up dead of getting killed before we could question them, but we had a feeling he was associated to two other guys.

All three of them were Drow, and when the GM said the two alive ones were named Jh’ameer and J’maara, I said that must mean the dead one’s name was Hassenpfeffer.

Only got one laugh out of that one (from the really old dude (who plays a gender-confused 7-year-old tiefling cleric)), but dang it, I’m proud of it.


So I thought about this and actually, if you follow the rules to the letter, you can’t multiclass Monk, cause you need 13 Dex & Wis. So that’s down to how bad you want it and how cool your DM is.

You can do Warlock or Sorc however! Or Bard?? That might actually be really interesting, what with your drinking predilection. You always were good at striking the whole tavern up into those old shanties…


Warlocks are great, but the concentration requirement for some spells will clash with rage. Armor of Agthys isn’t a concentrate spell, so you can buff, rage, and then the first couple of creatures who attack you will take cold damage (and keep your rage going).

Tho tbh if you want a Thor/Captain vibe maybe Paladin is more thematic than Celestial Warlock. On the other hand, Pact of the Blade with your tankard??


Does anyone have any take on what alignment an oath of the ancients paladin is supposed to be? LG? NG?

They’re kind of on a Druid bent which makes my 1st/2nd Edition raised brain think neutral good, but they are a paladin with a code…

I’ve been playing him as a anti-authoritarian when it comes to the jerk guard in the big city (because they’ve had it coming), but also I’ve been trying to urge mercy in combat and non-violent resolutions with the more beastly monsters.


Seems about right to me


It’s been years and years since I was on this side of the DM screen so I don’t trust my instincts.


Gotta be NG I would say

Tho I am a fan of using first edition alignments (Good, Evil, Neutral, Chaotic, Lawful, just those five without the matrix) and then mostly ignoring them


Actually, with Warcaster, Con save proficiency (from Barb) + advantage might make concentration spells pretty easy to keep up. I know a lot of minmaxing caster builds take Fighter first level for this reason.

Actually the rage requirement of “attack or be attacked every turn to maintain” may be a problem sometimes, depending on how your DM interprets spellcasting as an “attack”

I also think you should really consider Bard, it seems cooler the more I think about it especially with what little I know of your character concept. You could RP bardic inspiration as a kind of Cap morale boost leader speech thing! Or a massive barbarian yawp!


You can’t concentrate or cast spells whilst raging, but a ranged attack totally counts for keeping it going so pack those throwing axes


I think the guideline is that anything with an attack roll is an attack

Kind of moot for rages though, yeah


Well fuck


blade pact barbarian/warlock is generally one of the best strategies for that particular multiclass, improved pact weapon and armor of agathys are two things that will make your character simply better at being a barbarian. Most of the patrons you can choose from would be useful in some way. Hexblade and Great Old One offer no particular benefit to a barbarian but the rest of them are pretty good.


These psychos keep trying to make me multiclass into fungus druid and it absolutely makes so much sense but I just don’t wanna!!


Become a mycopath do it