Xanathar's Guide to Cleavin' a Goblin Clean in Twain (feat. D&D)


Talked it over with the DM and he agreed it should just be a thing that happens when I crit fail or get hit with a crit. No benefit, which, yeah, makes sense and I like it.

Don’t know if I want to have a ranged weapon, I don’t love crossbows or arrows because they’re just sorta dull and you can’t do much creatively with them. I chatted with the DM about the idea of maybe having a Froppy-style tongue lash attack, and he loved the idea but reworked it a little:

Oh man this is kind of a crazy idea, but I like it. Your poison only takes effect for as long as people touch you, and there’s just no way I can see the tongue dealing actual damage. So let’s do this: as an action you can attempt to grapple someone with your tongue if they’re up to 10 ft away from you. Your “to hit” bonus is your prof +dex. On their turn they can make an athletics or acrobatics check as an action to escape, dc is your str + prof + 8. As long as they’re grappled by you, they need to save against your poison.

So yeah. I love it.

One of my racial bonuses is that I have a fucking 25 ft vertical leap, so I could jump onto a chandelier or something and then tongue bind a gablin to poison em.


I like the idea of librarian monk or warlock, or maybe an arcane trickster whose main weapon is blown poison darts

I’d say get something with mage hand for reshelving those books but I think your vertical leap pretty well covers that


Silence seems like a must-pick spell


Holy shit, absolutely. Silence is a must-have.

I like the poison dart idea too, I’m going to go with that as my ranged.



For a frogkind I’d go with hand-selected river stones, hoik a loogie onto one to make it spicy/give disadvantage on the next roll the target takes

Hum would a fantasy librarian be into baseball


Almost the exact opposite in tone of my last game, this game was made for the Wizard Jam 2019, and is a lighthearted Baron-Munchausen-esque game of squabbling apprentices showing off how they’re the best and sabotaging each other in front of their boss.


Oh yeah I also did a Game Crime.

Pointedly avoided reading Tulpa’s before banging this out in ~3 hours just before deadline after work but still, inevitably, they cover some of the same ground? I’m much sloppier about it.


I want to talk about a character concept I had come up with in a fit of boredom and that I don’t think I’ll ever get to play because my current character might never die ever. It’s a very unorthodox concept and kinda breaks some canon rules, but it seemed amusing to me at the time.

Is this something anyone would care about or should I just go write it in my diary? I am not great at judging what is and is not appropriate/in-lane material for a given thread, sometimes.


Hell yeah, post it


The character would be a somewhat different version of a Warforged that had been created hundreds of years ago and owned by what was essentially the eastern Faerun version of the East India Company, and it would have…

Actually I think I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me start over a bit.

The idea was that, in some way, the party would come across a large metal sphere. It looked old, and there were barely-visible seams running around it in various places.

When they touch it, it would start to hum, and then a magical rune vaguely resembling a wheel would appear, hovering about an inch from the surface, and it would begin to turn. After a few moments, the wheel would turn into some kind of guild-crest-looking symbol, and a calm, soothing voice would emanate from it.

“Thank you for choosing the ThayCo. Dynamic Robothaumic Operations Platform Pod. Please select the configuration package that best suits your or your client’s needs.”

The guild crest symbol would then disappear, and a grid of 12 symbols would take its place.

  • An axe
  • A lute
  • A winged mace
  • A small tree
  • A shield with a sword crossed over it
  • A fist
  • A helmet over a sunburst
  • A bow and arrow
  • A dagger in a lock
  • A staff wreathed in a twisting aura
  • An eye in a five-pointed star
  • A fireball


this sounds like fun + canon is made to be set aflame and kicked over a cliff


Basically the core idea is that, instead of picking all my own classes and skills and whatnot, I would let the party pick for me, for better or for worse.

When I levelled up, it would say something along the lines of “Operations environment exceeds current configuration. Please select an upgrade package.” And then in a lower, sped-up voice “Performance not guaranteed. Package availability subject to local laws and regulations. All upgrades provided at additional charge, please see your nearest ThayCo. hall or branch office for details.”


give em a (toned down) rod of lordly might as their primary weapon and you are g2g


really hope someone got the thayco joke




Thak zero





Why is it that I only have good ideas for characters when it’s NOT time to make a character

I got invited to a second game and I’m just drawing a blank on what character to make for it