Ha, if only. Nope, you just show up and she farts you across the ocean. Some people previously complain about not being able to survive this.
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Forgot this game existed until seeing this thread, what a journey
I think I just melded it with the lunar games in my mind
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Just Vay Things
Vay Day 2: Die Another Vay
So our Brave Eugenically Approved Super Prince Sandor gets told once the boat that nobody (including the player) controls takes him back to CARYDON that he needs to head all the way back to the beginning of the game to meet with Otto the Wise Sage, the guy who loaned out Pottle to him way back. So off he goes across the bland land of LORATH to the creatively named LORATH CASTLE, or as the screens show it -LORATH- because dashes mean âcastleâ in Vay Speak. The poor housekeeper of -LORATH- has to deliver this line, which I guess was probably meant to be a joke, but whatever:
This is the first and only mention of gerbils. I have never seen one in this game. Hell, I would like to fight one, because the battle sprites in this game still rule, even with their sometimes really Vic Ireland ass names. I mean, look at this enemy:
Why did Vic and the Mad Ladz name him:
I will never know, but I like to think it is because heâs really good at making that tone that gets him free long distance.
Back in the -CASTLE-, Sandor finally meets up with Otto and trades i guess what are supposed to be insults with one of the people under his rule at the castle, but I donât even remember them. I just screencapped this:
And pay attention he shall, because Sandor is just about to find out that his beliovec Elin is actually an amnesiac who washed up in the kindgom three years ago and the King kindly took in while she never remembered where she was from. Somehow nobody told Sandor this, and I guess it just never came up that she canât remember anything before the past three years. This really says a lot about their relationship that he still belived âshe was a cousin of a local nobleâ and had just never asked any more than that. So yeah, sheâs probably from another country, and maybe even is a Danek, but nobody knows. Everyone shrugs and Otto tells the Prince to head off to Kerzalt, which the magical boat that nobody can steer (including the player) will take him to.
Sandor and the party land in SHADHOOK, a coastal town where everything seems nice and calm, but all the residents think everything is a shitshow:
Ah, the classic tale of old people upset by what the kids are doing to the soil outside of Des Moine, Iowa (perfect example). But no, it sure doesnât feel like really anything is going on in this town, but people sure do think it is. Someone tells Sandor to go to -Kerzalt-, but nobody really mentions where that is, so I had to wander around a bit to find it, which is probably good because Sandor needed some levels.
Sidebar: What's the Deal with Spells?
So jRPGs always have had weird spell naming conventions. Usually you can learn them and figure them out pretty easily. Well, not so lucky with WD, who I think just thought making some of them "punny" was a good idea. It was not.
What the fuck are even some of these?
- Balm: Your basic healing spell.
- Flame and Blaze: both fire spells, Blaze being just a bit more powerful.
- Narcosis: I guess this puts enemies to sleep, but being a 16 bit era RPG, this almost never works.
- Neuman: Covered this before, but instead of telling you what it does, for some reason WD went with the Sienfeld joke, I guess.
- Malybu: What the fuck is this? I mean, I guess it is some kind of jokey spelling of Malibu. What does it do? Ummm, casts flame on all enemies. Were fires a big thing in Malibu? My Ohio ass doesnât know; we havenât hit that phase of the global Ohio-fication yet.
In addition to these, there is a revive spell that I have gotten that I just now had to go look up the name, which is Vilkiss, and no I have no idea why. It cures abnormal status conditions as well, I just found out. Sure would be cool if anything told me that. Maybe this is why Lunar came with a book that told in text and pics what EVERY SINGLE SPELL does, because WD made it so you wouldnât be able to figure it out otherwise. Copy protection, baybee!
Still on that Vay Day 2
So hey, the party gets to the castle, but the guards are on their bullshit, and i suspect this was not in the original at all, but whatever:
Eventually, a dude from the government comes out and says âOh shit, youâre the Prince of Lorath, câmon in, my dudeâ and we donât have to actually get any paperwork done. This is almost a successful joke, except that I could 100% believe a jRPG from this era and WD would do this. So itâs less funny, more âoh thank god noâ.
Sandor talks to the king, who totally says there is an Orb in the kingdom, but hey, no idea exactly where, but start in that cave to the south. He also says he would totally love to give the part more backup, but he can only spare one person, due toâŚya knowâŚall the chaos in the kingdom, right? And so we meet:
She will forever be called PJ by everyone, but that regular name is ridiculous. I like to imagine that after this game, she is actually the person answering those Dear Prudy letters at Salon. Of course, with her introduction, we also need some more hot FMV, so we get shots of each of the other party members and PJâs interior monolgue, which I will paraphase below.
PJ: Too short. Also probably sucks at magic, so whatever. (Of note, up to this point, Pottle has been our best magician by far).
PJ: Whoa shit she looks tough as hell.
PJ: Oh this Prince is reall well equiped (and some other innuendo about his dick). And in case you missed it, she drives it home with:
Cool, so the party is joined by a hornt mage who is like 5 levels above them all, and the King tells them to head to the cave over by HAYHILL to find out more. On the way out of the castle, we meet a housekeeper who knows that war stinks because
OK, Vic. And once again, off into the wildernessâŚ
âŚoh like two screens south, where HAYHILL is. I should note here that one of the neat things in this game is that every shopkeeper seems to have a unique hello and goodbye. An early one was an Aussie for some reason, and others have said various generic hellos and goodbyes and come agains and so on. But then, the weapons shop owner in HAYHILL gets real about some shit:
The Innkeeper appologizes for the garlic in the Inn, but given that this was after she told us that our room was upstairs and to the left, and there were no stairs at all in the building, I just sorta glossed over that.
So down into the cave of RAXAAL our adventurers go, with Pottle and PJ getting all snippy with each other, which finally ends with PJ dropping this sick (and would totally probably be racist, if elves were real) burn on our young lad:
Star Trek confirmed in the land of Vay and you cannot convince me otherwise. This is what you did, Vic; you made Start Trek exist in this world without TVs, and you made PJ kinda a racist. GREAT.
In the cave, we meet a lot of these guys:
âŚand if you guessed that they are called this:
Congrats! Youâve been fully VIC-PILLED. I donât even know why it is misspelled. I wish I did.
At the end of this cave, we find a room with a coffin in it, which of course we open, and this rad looking VAMPYR pops out:
This image doesnât show it, but he had rad blinking red glowy eyes as well. And he demolished the party, so I had to go grind for like 30 mins, but that was OK. Eventually we came back, ready to trash him and he was trashed. No stakes or garlic required. AndâŚ
What the hell does that do? We will find out next time because I needed to go to bed.
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Bonus:
During the stream, @AutomaticTiger came up with the best alternate title for this thread, which she rightfully noted that I could not deploy on my own, being the cishet scum that I am. However, it stuck in my head all night, so I am putting it here. That title is:
Vay/Vem
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I am taking a couple days off from this, as i feel like crap tonight, and have plans tomorrow, but ThursVay will happen.
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There was a pretty famous Malibu fire in 1993, so that is almost certainly what Olâ Vic was going for.
(I like âOlâ Vicâ because it makes him seem like Gil from the Simpsons.)
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Left with the distinct impression this was one of the notable players in the Quakeworld DM scene.
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