SB 64 part IV: diamond is not crash (voting ends october 17!)

I always felt like Portal was a miniature tragedy, with funny parts. The downfall of the murderously lonely Glados who does everything she can to keep you within her grasp, but fails at basic things like “not trying to murder you” and “saying things that make sense.” She’s such a manipulative mother-figure in a way that games writing rarely approaches, and it’s done with love and care.

The companion cube and cake stuff always felt like side notes to the actual tragedy of the immortal Glados who cannot resist her programming to Just Keep Testing, but still desires some form of human company.

4 Likes

Even this stuff originally felt pretty morbid and throwaway. Like the companion cube is based on a real-life case of soldiers developing unhealthy emotional relationships with military paraphernalia and the cake joke was literally an off-the-cuff ‘what’s a cool game goal’ joke. These things then got twisted into nerd t-shirt punchlines that have no impact comedic or otherwise.

4 Likes

hard disagree on this one because every time I remember this comic I let out a dumb giggle

8 Likes

the cake isn’t even a lie it’s a trap. the post credits end of the game clearly establish there was cake all along. nerds could have been doing star wars mashups and they undercut themselves through imitation smdh

4 Likes

She looks so pissed!

I gotta believe the background dude with the tight white pants in the Portal nerd?

2 Likes

Where are the geeks and gamers in this thread!?

that wasn’t intentional

Kick, Chop, the cake is a lie.

1 Like

Looking forward to voting for Mario 64 for the music alone.

And Doom which also has music.

Quake vs Streets of Rage 2 is rough :o

3 Likes

I love Bubble Bobble but I would vote for even just the Chrono Trigger attract screen over it. The perfect idea of a 16 bit JRPG. With the weather getting chillier just thinking about some of that music makes me feel wistful in the best way.

3 Likes

These are some great match ups but thankfully the choices they present are not as tough for me as the last one.

Super Mario 64 vs Ikaruga

When presented with the choice of you can take one game with you to a deserted island and it’s between Mario 64 and Ikaruga I’m going to take Mario 64. Ikaruga is a game about mastering a specific few verbs but Mario has lots of verbs and is generally just a more pleasant game to hang out with.

Dark Souls vs Final Fantasy VI

This choice is making me realize how much I prefer action games to turn-based game. Dark Souls by a mile.

Portal vs Ico

This is maybe my toughest choice. I love Portal. I love Eric Wolpaw. I love humor and video games lack good humor very much since forever. A well written game that doesn’t overstay it’s welcome is a rare sight.

I was going to go with Ico at first because it’s shorter and equally well written. It’s a tragic story but upon replay you can unlock a light saber. I love the setting and the art style. Honestly I might flip on this one. I have no idea how I’ll actually vote. Right now I’m leaning Portal but depending on my mood on the day of the vote I could very easily see myself going for Ico.

Dog Days vs Link’s Awakening

I like both of these games but if I could I would have Kane and Lynch shoot that fucking owl right in the face.

Sonic Adventure vs Sky Odyssey

I’m just not a Sonic fan and Sky Odyssey is too unique. Sonic Adventure is pretty unique too. Uniquely horrible! I’m just joking I’ve never played it and probably never will.

DOOM vs OutRun

Not even a Testarossa can outrun Doom.

Nier vs DK94

I think Donkey Kong is a fine game. It’s primordial, even. And the 1994 Game Boy version is a real treat. But Nier is doing stuff that’s primordial too, in it’s own way, and it might end up being a new foundation that future games will be built on like Donkey Kong was in its day. That gets me kind of excited so I’m choosing to look forward here instead of back.

Chrono Trigger vs Bubble Bobble

Either way I choose here I’m going to feel awful. So I’m just going to stick with Bub and Bob and continue my descent into the cave of monsters.

Dragon’s Dogma vs Umihara Kawase

Dragon’s Dogma is the kind of game that Umihara Kawase could exist inside of as a random side activity that’s not even acknowledged or mentioned anywhere in the rest of the game. Just there for you to stumble across it.

Super Mario Bros. 3 vs Gunstar Heroes

It almost feels like cheating to go with two Mario games in one round but I’m doing it anyway. Sorry Treasure.

Quake vs Streets of Rage 2

Not even a contest. Quake will be going strong long after Streets of Rage is completely forgotten. Quake will outlast everything because people will continue making maps for it and we will never run out of new Quake to play. All these other games only stick around because they’re able to turn a profit for their parent company but as soon as they’re unable to do that they’ll be dropped into the dust bin and lost to history. However Quake’s parent company had the foresight to give the technology they used to make the game to the community early on so as long as there is a community there will be Quake and an ever increasing number of variants and offshoots.

How cool would it be if something like that happened for Streets of Rage? It would be pretty cool. But it probably never will because the open source ethos behind Quake and the other early id tech games just isn’t there at other companies these days. I hope for the sake of gaming’s future that that changes someday.

8 Likes

some of these are just brutal. for now I’ll do the brutal one that’s nevertheless an easy vote for meta reasons.

doom is also on this list, while SoR2 is the only beat 'em up we’ve got. for that reason I can’t in good conscience vote for quake. what is the most beat 'em up feeling in the world? it’s getting thrown by a god damn y signal. SoR2 is not the perfect SoR game – I prefer the more realistic grittiness of SoR1, and being able to run on every character in SoR3 sure does feel good – but it is still the best one. like quake and many of the other games on this list, pressing buttons in SoR2 feels perfect. it has an undeniable rhythm to its design, which is good, because also like many other games on this list SoR2 has an amazing soundtrack. but this one doesn’t have an amazing soundtrack, it has the best soundtrack. you cannot think of SoR2 without ‘go straight’ running through your brain, and you can’t listen to go straight without axel and his GRAND UPPER flashing across your eyeballs. playing this game feels like listening to its soundtrack, like some synaesthetic Wagnerian gesamtkunstwerk ideal based entirely around hitting loitering punks with your fist. you can’t ask for more out of a video game than that. you could not play this game for ten years and the second you pick it up and press punch everything is going to feel right in the world. that is also true of quake and shooting a rocket, but there must be winners and losers in this thread

now that I think about it, audiovisually SoR2 is somewhere pretty near the middle ground between something Max Sega like Outrun, and the bespoke brutalist industrial fantasy of Quake (which would tarnish the next ten years of video game visual design through no fault of its own). that is not a useful insight at all, but hey, we’re doing a gamefaqs poll.

8 Likes

oh yeah baby time for me to post more of my weird inconsistent opinions all over select button!

mario 64! don’t get me wrong, ikaruga owns, but there’s this sort of weird magic to mario 64. it looks like a playable version of those tech demos you would see on tv whenever there would be a news story about those newfangled computers and their fancy graphics, which is pleasing to my eyes. and goddamn if dire, dire docks is not among some of the best games music.

dark souls! i have played it inside and out. all different builds. different covenants. different ways of making progress. one of those pieces of video game comfort food that i’ve played at least once a year since it came out, and own on more systems than i do resident evil 4. the only game of its generation that can match the horribly oppressive atmosphere is its own spiritual prequel. but even then, it still has a sense of progression that a lot of games, even ds2 and ds3, couldn’t get right. a shame that “game is hard” is the only lesson people took from it.

portal. this one was pretty close, but portal’s style and way of solving puzzles was more creative than ico’s. the writing was a lot more fun, too. so portal gets the nod, even if the writer is responsible for starting gamergate, according to an idiot-ass crackpot on the internet.

link’s awakening. k&l2 is amazing. it’s raw, kind of sickening at times. it does almost it sets out to do wonderfully. a game that was all about presenting the ugly underbelly of what violent, sociopathic protagonists actually are in an era where nathan drake was murdering hundreds to thousands of people while trying to be a wisecracking, debonair everyman. but like i said before, link’s awakening is the best zelda, and among the best game boy games. so i’m going with link’s awakening again.

sonic adventure. sonic adventure is a top 5 sonic game and a must-play dreamcast game and you should also spend the $5 or whatever to play it on pc with all the cool dreamcast mods turned on. it’s a ludicrously saccharine, saturday morning cartoon of a video game. but that’s what makes it so great. it is stupid, colorful fun, and i love it to death.

doom. the thing about doom is that you can run it right now, no specials mods or anything, and it’s as great today as it was in 1993. doom is timeless. it is the proverbial catching lightning in a bottle, this perfect (ion) storm of creative minds firing on all cylinders to create a piece of magic.

nier. this was a similar vote, in my eyes, as kane and lynch vs zelda. but i like zelda more than i like donkey kong. and i also like nier more than i like donkey kong. yoko taro has this talent to write extremely unlikeable characters into being likeable. every time a character fucks up, gives into emotion, it’s pretty powerful. the world of nier is full of mystery, accompanied by haunting music, and this plot that i spent one determined winter uncovering every inch of. then you finish the game and realize that this many-hour action-rpg that brought people to tears is a sequel to what everyone thought was a joke ending in drakengard. that in and of itself is powerful.

chrono trigger. bubble bobble is great, and i love all the cutesy taito games. but chrono trigger gets the edge because of the end of time, one of the most gorgeous areas in any game i’ve ever played. it’s cool in a lot of other ways, too, but the image of an old man under a streetlight got my imagination going as a kid.

umihara kawase. it’s cute as hell and has significantly more personality than dragon’s dogma.

gunstar heroes. already gave my reason why last time. but as far as mario goes, it’s fine; not “skip my grandmother’s wake” good, though. give me smb1, world, land 1/2, or 64 any day.

streets of rage 2 gets the nod on its aesthetic merit alone. but it helps that there’s a great game underneath it. the game’s foundation is strong enough to make up for the fact that you play as cops. quake is fantastic too, but it’s not doom.

8 Likes

Seems a lot of you would have a Mario or Zelda at the top of this list. I’ll say Nintendo don’t need more praise!

3 Likes

Maybe we could specifically nominate the 4k, widescreen, 60 fps PC port of Super Mario 64 that definitely pisses off Nintendo by existing (though I would be surprised if SB actually voted SM64 close to the top).

5 Likes

I make it my mission to prevent mario, zelda, and sonic from ever approaching the top

3 Likes

I am the weird edge cased who played a small bit of Mario 64 near release and was wowed by it (as likely everyone who played it at the time was), but didn’t actually get around to it for a number of years and hence had Super Mario Sunshine be the first 3d Mario I put a ton of time into. Because of this I have the opposite reaction of thinking highly of Sunshine while when I got to 64 a few years later my main thought was “god there is a lot of not good in here when the newness of being in 3d is gone and the level design becomes dramatically simplified”. It’s probably one of my least favorite console Mario games because of this. I’ll probably end up voting against it in the likely many times it comes up for vote in this process.

I’m not a big jrpg fan but FF VI was pretty darn good. Dark Souls is still Dark Souls though.

I hate to vote against Portal, but I’d hate to vote against Ico even more.

I have been trying to come up for an argument to convince myself to vote for K&L 2 over LA and I don’t think I’ve got one.

Haven’t played enough of the next four to really have an opinion.

Nier is a wonderful mess with a tremendous soundtrack and DK 94 isn’t even the best puzzle-ish game that team made on the gameboy (Mole Mania 4 life).

What I remember most about Chrono Trigger is how much I disliked Crono (likely my least favorite jrpg protagonist). What I remember most about Bubble Bobble is that tune.

SMB3 isn’t my favorite Mario but I finally played Gunstar Heroes for real last year and my main thought after was “that’s it?” Has a ton of ideas and I can respect that, also I am in general down on boss rushes and GH feels differently about them. Years prior I first played the game with a friend and we accidentally tossed each other so many times we couldn’t even get past the first stage and quit after 15 minutes and he never wanted to play it with me again, maybe don’t make it so easy to do by accident when people are just trying to learn how to play.

6 Likes

I opened up my laptop for this! first let me say All These Games Are Great. EVERYBODY VOTES EVERBODY WINS

Mario V Ikaruga

How many times have I played the first 20 minutes of Mario 64? How many times have I played 20 minutes of Ikaruga? I gotta try and see how far Ikaruga can go. It and Undertale are the two shooters on the list. Maybe we need an SBDNPC about Ikaruga. I did one about Mario 64. Actually there. if Ikaruga wins this round I will organize and host and edit a SBDNPC about Ikaruga and Radiant Silvergun.

Dark Souls vs. FF6

My instincts are to vote for the underdog here which is strangely Final Fantasy VI. But listening to everyone’s arguments I am remember all the great parts of Dark Souls. The Great Serpents. The Duke’s Archives. The Hydra. How it’s about going down and going up. Dang Dark Souls is cool.

eeco vs pawtal

Before reading this thread this was an argument I didn’t care about. Portal is a really great 3 hours though. They took all the wrong lessons from it but if we look at it as a bubble as a stand-alone media product, what a thing! It’s pretty hard to not get wrapped up in the story and how it dangles clues to you to poke and prod. Ico similarly is trying to to create drama through action. Love this girl, because if she dies then you die. It’s cute when y’all rest on the save couches. More couches for save points please!

Link's Awakening V Dog Days

I am not insulting anyone when I say this but Link’s Awakening is a children’s story. It has the light darkness and implications that good children’s fiction has, but remains boyant through out. If this was Awakening versus SotC (the same game hmm) I’d go Awakening.

Dog Days is an adult story in the dumbest way possible. Two idiot men one who thinks they’ve finally made it when their job is kicking down doors in order to “talk to a guy”. Two men who can create a pile of bodies run rampant over a foreign country they do not and cannot understand. It’s so gross and kinectic. The co-op is fantastic! It has wonderful level design for flanking and covering fire. That baggage room at the end. HELP BUDDY. Then the multiplayer is also great. it is only interesting with betrayal at a certain point and then it becomes tension of when is betrayal going to happen. High level play is all about mind games. n00bs will be mad at the betrayal, till they become good enough to win against the AI everytime. Now the real game is active. Again really really good naturalistic level design. It is Oni realized.

S. Odyssey vs S. Adventure

Cannot believe the support Sky Odyssey is getting. Maybe I will finally play it at a point. As is I am working through Sonic Adventure on my chinese pirate handheld. I just got by the worst spot in the game (light cycle shoes.) Something fucked up there. Miserable. Now I can enjoy how great it is to run around as Sonic in the overworld and I Wanna Fly High and the bonkers mouth animation and FROGGY and Chao carrying garden and The Train Departing For the Mystic Ruins. There’s also DQ style NPC stories. All’s Well That End’s Well!

OuuT versus DomRun

As someone who until recently regularly had the chance to play arcade Outrun it is great. I also said last bracket the music bores me by the end of a run even if I love it. I don’t often listen to a song over and over while driving. Also Outrun is in Yakuza Zero I can vote for it there.

DooM is so good. DooM is so many things! You can quit video games and just make DooM your hobby.

Summary

I can call DK94 good but I also always put it down and never successfully engage with it.

The anti-Nier points are good points. On the other hand. When I first heard this song when Nier came out I sat there transfixed. I listened to it over and over and over. I had to have that game. Even now every time. I lose myself. I think the game is great too. I’m excited to play it again next year. Crossed-fingers for Papa Nier. I think it is okay to curse in video games. I think it is okay to be horny. It’s not okay to kill Boars. It is okay to Boar Drift.

Cave of Dreams versus the big bug from CT I can't remember the name Lavos fuck I did remember it.

I can play Bubble Bobble in my mind. I can hear the song. I liked CT a lot, but also feel like I need to update my opinion on it. It feels shrowded in fog. Like Link’s Awakening, maybe it is a story for children. Maybe I am an adult now.

Gotta give it up for the game I can climb a Manticore and slice off it’s tail.

NES vs The Sega Genesis

Look I may have joined this community because of tim’s SMB3 essay almost 20 years ago. I cannot abide the Mario approaching the top of this list. It got on. Mario 3 is great. That’s evident always. I miss the street-side famiclones with Mario 3 and always seeing some guy absolutely destroying it.

Gunstar has DESTROY THEM ALL and a funky dice maze and I already wrote a couple of paragraphs of my own childhood experience with it. I might have played Gunstar before I played Mario 3.

Windows 95 versus Sega Genesis

Streets of Rage 2 isn’t my favorite even though I went to a rave where they played the soundtrack and it both ruled and was too much after a while. I’ve never been to a Trent Reznor concert even if I apparently am the guitarist for NIN. Quake is so cool. I definitely got a little bored as I was scrafing down all the official Quake the enemy designs and what to do with them versus DooM. Maybe I need to play more different Quake levels.

But as SoR2 is the representation of Belt Scroller’s. I will consider this also BARE KNUCKLE 3 with the Motohiro Kawashima soundtrack. So hmmph. I will have to think about this until the last second of voting.

12 Likes

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3 vs. GUNSTAR HEROES
SUPER MARIO 64 vs. IKARUGA

I hate these two match-ups because I want to vote for one Treasure and one Mario, but both the ones I prefer are in the same match-up against each other (Mario 3 and Gunstar).

Mario 3 is a very good alternating multiplayer game, but it feels just a touch to long. Like, to get Maximum Enjoyment out of Mario 3 you and a friend need to have 6-8 hours of free time to just throw yourself at the game. Like, I know the All-Stars version has saves, but it’s ugly and sounds bad. Also, warping straight to World 8 is literally the worst way to play the game, because that world has so many boring autoscrollers. In contrast, all the autoscrollers in Gunstar are good and the game is like only an hour and a half tops.

As far as the other match-up here I might just flip a coin idk.

SONIC ADVENTURE vs. SKY ODYSSEY

Sonic Adventure is big and dumb and clumsy and yet somehow an astonishingly accurate translation of the overall feel of the 2D games. I’m not going to bother elaborating on that point, but I stand by it.

NIER vs. DONKEY KONG '94
CHRONO TRIGGER vs. BUBBLE BOBBLE

I’m not in the mood for a fiddly 100 stage single-screen platformers, so I guess I’m voting for the anime rpgs here. Granted, I haven’t finished any of these four games.

DRAGON’S DOGMA vs. UMIHARA KAWASE

This forum’s dragon dogmatism still hasn’t convinced me. Respect the fishing line.

QUAKE vs. STREETS OF RAGE 2
DOOM / DOOM II vs. OUTRUN

Voting this way feels like the proper balance between id and Sega.

Can’t think of anything to say about the remaining three match-ups (sorry). I think I exhausted my deep well of asinine commentary in the first two rounds.

3 Likes

If it weren’t for Sonic Adventure I don’t know what I’d do to cope with insomnia

image

10 Likes

SUPER MARIO 64
vs.
IKARUGA
I’m not really into mario too much but shoot-them-ups are the lowest form of videogame

DARK SOULS
vs.
FINAL FANTASY VI
abstain

PORTAL
vs.
ICO
Portal is a full throttle caliber perfect adventure game, not too many of those and it’s probably even better now removed from the time when every nerd was beating every joke in the game to death

KANE & LYNCH 2: DOG DAYS
vs.
THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: LINK’S AWAKENING

blue lives don’t matter

SONIC ADVENTURE
vs.
SKY ODYSSEY
I have no clue, do enough people really like sonic adventure that much in 2020

DOOM / DOOM II
vs.
OUTRUN
if doom gets the advantage of representing both doom 1 with it’s perfect episode 1 and doom 2 with the double barrel shotgun I don’t know how you can’t pick it

NIER
vs.
DONKEY KONG '94
I’m not sure nier is really grabbing me yet but any mention of donkey kong makes me think of donkey kong country, a game that as far as repulsive looking videogames go is up there with maabus for me. I do not like this donkey kong creature

CHRONO TRIGGER
vs.
BUBBLE BOBBLE
I’m going with the grand adventure across time over the puzzle game

DRAGON’S DOGMA
vs.
UMIHARA KAWASE
I don’t know, dragon’s dogma sure looks boring in pictures but umihara kawase doesn’t really look like anything I’d like

SUPER MARIO BROS. 3
vs.
GUNSTAR HEROES
I’m not really into mario too much but shoot-them-ups are the lowest form of videogame

QUAKE
vs.
STREETS OF RAGE 2
streets of rage 3 is the more interesting one and I have a lot of fond memories of quake team fortress. and I just really like how quake looks

7 Likes