NO RANGERS ALLOWED

Output Podcast Bonus Round
362

Huge shout out to the 45 regular downloaders of No Rangers Allowed

8 Likes
363

That’s about 3x more people than I expected

3 Likes
364

km and gary carrying us by actually being good + charming really threw a wrench into our plans of languishing in an obscurity so deep anyone who tried to download episodes was somehow rendered unable

cuba just telling us this “podcast” exists with no evidence extant to anyone but him

2 Likes
365

No way am I a charming one, it’s all gary

Good though, Ven will take that. Someday. When he finally makes a religion roll.

366

Just in case this isn’t clear, 45 downloads does, in fact, qualify as “obscurity”

1 Like
367

fucking duh

hence the ten million qualifiers attached to that use of “obscurity”

368

LIVE FROM BUMPASS IT’S SATURDAY NIGHT

9 Likes
369

A list of things that are now 100% Canon (CANON) to the NoRA setting as per the bumpass episode, arranged in order of appearance unless I thought of them while I was listening to the earlier part so I wrote them down then or they got shuffled when I started organizing things by character which is a process I never finished so yeah, whatever:

  • Giant Bendy Pole Cavalry

  • cardigans

  • schools for Fancy Boys

  • ascots

  • spats

  • carbon fiber

  • snaps

  • a stillsuit that is also a camelbak?

  • whaling industry (no longer practiced in the Seven Kingdoms)

  • hogging industry (modeled on the whaling industry; failed)

  • albatrossing industry

  • albatross “milking”

  • use of albatross “milk” as long-keeping high protein rations for sailors

  • 19th century sailing tech?

  • LAND SHIPS

  • bomb lances, and thus bombs

  • glowing nuclear swords (definitely uranium)

  • implied nuclear arms, other

  • giant frogs, used as mounts

  • “napalm” beverage

  • festive(?) beach executions

  • the Funky Bomb (dance)

  • secret dance moves passed down from father to son indicating trade or social status

  • the constellation Roller

  • Flavor Town???

  • The Bifrost Century

  • …which has an “ops center”

  • special operations operating operationally in general

  • "The King

  • The Baltimore Raven (in-universe equivalent of Punisher Skull iconography)

  • nylon mesh

  • carbon fiber AGAIN

  • “clearing” rooms

  • “deploying” in “hot zones”

  • “many fancy sports”

  • the Victorinox brand

  • D-clips

  • Societies of Fancy Men

  • the NATO phonetic alphabet

  • a floating city/castle

  • the southern seas boiled for an entire month–from new moon to new moon–and the coastline was reshaped by “what emerged”

  • “The Reliquary”, consumed by one Giant Hog

  • semesters abroad

  • academic theses

  • giant albatrosses, including one that may be ever-growing, locked in a sort of cycle of eternal return connected to a surly sailor woman named after the convention of dwarves???

  • human dorftakus

  • habitual full immersion blood baths for the ruling class (keeps away acne, etc.)

  • surfing

  • “thriving but niche industry of tactical gear” aimed at soldiers

  • uniforms and possibly tactical beak rails on operator birds

EDIT OH NO I MISSED

  • crossbow snipers
  • the military rank of Colonel
  • scopes (they can go on spears)
  • possible more advanced optics including red dot systems
14 Likes
370

Glad you got this out just in time for the influx of listeners coming from the kop thread

4 Likes
371

I theorize this tactical operations tech remained from an earlier era of the D&D-default Dying Earth setting, and in the current game we’ve deteriorated even further and thus most of that tech has failed and/or disappeared

3 Likes
372

some archaeologist digs up and translates a Tom Clancy book and starts a reenactment society

4 Likes
373

That list might also be the best twitter account I’ve read for ages

374

Wow its like you know exactly how obvious I am

375

TWENTY SIX

BJ punches an old elf in the face

376

I’m still listening to the episode before the live episode. The tricky sticky dicks were fucking hilarious.

1 Like
377

Cuba is right! The Mummy with Brendan Frasier is a good movie!

2 Likes
378

Thank you, finally, a man of taste and discretion

379

With shrug as DM, could the result be anything other than a collection of his own idiosyncracies in service of a single dumb joke?

No. No, it couldn’t.

2 Likes
380

it takes three sessions to get to the (stupid) punchline

1 Like
381

Shrug nearly killed me with this punchline btw, so it’ll be worth the wait.