Movies You Watched Today: Return Of The Thread (Part 1)

Watched Orlando (1992) this week. What a movie!!! Everyone is wearing the most incredible clothes and Tilda Swinton looks fantastic 100% of the time. It is the only movie I’ve seen in a long time which really feels like it deserves the description “dreamlike”–the transitions where the story skips decades are all wonderfully unsettling. And whenever Orlando looked directly to the camera, we lost our minds. It’s so good.

We are currently also watching Yes Madam! in bits and bursts during our meals, and it’s a hell of a HK action flick. I think we have only like 20 minutes left and we’re really enjoying it. It’s like five movies squashed into one. Every scene, it feels like they introduce a whole new crew of over-the-top minor characters who insult and attack one another. Surprisingly little Michelle Yeoh in it, actually–the two women cops often take a back seat to a plot line about a bunch of thieves–but whenever they show up it’s extremely fun.

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some recent letterboxd reviews

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 2001 ★★★★★

Rewatched Jan 01, 2022

[extended edition]

“I wish the ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.”
“So do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world, Frodo, besides the will of evil.”

it’s surprising how well this was paced for such a long movie… all the iconic lines still easily recitable… and edited the book just right for the screen

i struggle to think of a movie that so effectively balances the intimate and the colossal scale. that’s what world war is like, i presume; numbers and armies and all the little people in them. rewatching as an adult it’s so much easier to understand the hobbits’ homesickness; who would want to leave festivals and pipe-weed and second breakfast for the cold, damp war, crap rations and steep cliffs? it ah “hits different”

also all the hobbits except frodo have tboy energy

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers 2002 ★★★★

Rewatched Jan 11, 2022

[extended edition]

Where is the horse and the rider?
Where is the horn that was blowing?
They have passed like rain on the mountains,
like wind in the meadow.
The days have gone down in the West,
behind the hills… into Shadow.

Suffers a bit from “middle movie” syndrome, since it starts on a midpoint and ends on another one. The best part is probably giving us a lot of Aragorn screentime to brood and yearn. Very lesbian of him.

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King 2003 ★★★★★

Rewatched Jan 16, 2022

[extended edition]

Arise, arise, Riders of Théoden!
Spear shall be shaken, shield shall be splintered,
a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!
Ride now, ride now, ride! Ride for ruin and the world’s ending!
Death! Death! Death!
Forth Eorlingas!

is this the best one? the way that all the threads come together… how you get a sense of the scope of war, the role that each small character plays in the grand narrative. the love shown for one another in the face of darkness. the looming inevitability of failure and death. pathos!!

aragorn is gender goals

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These movies still slap and I won’t be Tulpa’d out of that opinion

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Peter Jackson’s direction is in this impossible halfway between campy and stately, he was the right man for the job

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what? I like the first two movies. The third movie is a hilarious trainwreck that foreshadows everything wrong with peter jackson’s later film career.

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I WON’T BE TULPA’D

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you’re implying that I hate them though, I don’t

Meditating monklike and letting this just slide off my back as I remain absolutely at peace

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I like kitsch. The half hour slow motion sequence of hobbits jumping on a bed while gandalf looks and smiles beatifically will live rent free in my head forever

Especially because Jackson thought it was a more essential sequence than the scouring of the shire, one of the most resolutely baffling and individual film choices anyone has ever made

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Return of the King has a lot of weird choices in it, it’s true.

Every scene with Faramir is like the scenes with he FBI in Die Hard, just shut up and get out of the way. Merry stabbing the Witch King is telegraphed so poorly it’s like they only managed to get one take and they had to use it. Legolas CGI did not age well. Saruman’s ridiculous death being cut from the theatrical release is unforgivable.

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this is true, but it’s still great. “trainwreck” is harsh. especially when you compare it with The Hobbit

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I meant it with affection but I get how that doesn’t come across in text

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im back from a week where i was able to watch 33 16mm prints of Dorsky/Hiler films. an incredibly good way to spend a week.

Hours for Jerome was always one of my ultimate grails of experimental film, and it really is an absolute masterpiece.

Ember Days is a very small film Dorsky made last year, one of his shorter works and just focused on a single idea. one of his best.

Variations is one of the ones that i had managed to see a digital version of before, but it was such bad quality, it never stuck out to me. now seeing a print, i think it is like, the first major work of what would come to be his style. every shot, every cut, every frame is essential and immense.

the first time i saw any Dorsky films screened was in Lisbon in 2015. there were two programmes, each containing four films. i had read about his work for years beforehand, but actually seeing them - especially on film - is an experience unlike anything else, even within a-g cinema. that first programme ended with Winter, i had never seen a film more beautiful and i was not sure if i would ever have the chance to see it again in my life. the final day of this series included that same four film programme. Winter has only grown in power since than. it’s wet, cold and grey. in that grey are shades of blues and greens, the contrast of winter light against shadows. a christmas movie in the same way rival dealer is a christmas record. my favourite movie.

the Hiler films were absolutely astonishing. a few months back i saw Words of Mercury but it was programmed between two Dorsky films, and that really did it an injustice. for someone who’s work has rarely been screened over the last 50 years, and is mostly known as Dorsky’s partner, sandwiching it that way really set it up to fail. it’s incredibly pretty, but felt more in line with something like Paul Clipson’s music videos than something that holds up alongside Dorsky. even having seen it in better conditions now, it’s probably my least favourite of his.

what really stood out from the Hiler programmes were his early works. it’s hard to tell exactly the chronology of when the films were fully edited etc, but at least those shot contemporaneously with Hours for Jerome around the 70s totally floored me. In The Stone House mostly seems to be shot around that same year Dorsky was documenting, but is so hyperfocused on their love and their life together. the house they live in, the space around them, the people coming in and out of their lives. a truly remarkable discovery.

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Never gonna forget groaning in hungover angst in a movie theater as I had to piss so bad, but how could I miss this? It was the funniest thing I’d seen in a long time, so I toughed it out.

Every time it fades to black like the movie is done and then BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE is such a funny gag.

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the hobbit pillow fight and cgi orlando bloom jumping and skipping around not-elephants are the only things i remember about that movie

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when i went to see this in theatre my mate next to me just couldn’t help blurting “fucking kiss him!!” during one of the frodo/sam bits

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nobuko miyamoto is now tied for my fucking favorite actress with laura gemser i fucking LOVE HOW IN EVERYTHING BY HER HUSBAND SHES THE MOST CAPABLE QUICK WITTED OPTIMISTIC PROBLEM SOLVER TO EVER LIVE a taxing woman was like her life before minbo where shes a tax collector for corrupt jerks

also it has the fattest old shibe awwwwwwwwwwwwww

i cant wait for her new movie about being a fujoshi comes out this year

i think the reason i like juzo itami movies is because the pace isnt like… heres characters you like, they’re working on bettering the plot together now! OHHHH SOMETHING HORRIBLE HAPPENS AND DERAILS THE PLOT FOR 30 MINUTES! OKAY THINGS CAN BE GOOD AGAIN
which is the formula for like every feel good movie, and … uhhh… i tdoesnt feel good at all???
his movies always have a problem in the beginning that a person faces and they slowly get better and better at the problem until it is solved, like not everything goes right on the way there but its not tragedy that we all have to focus on for 1/4 of the running time. (like even in minbo she gets stabbed but it actually helps them and shes totally fine) like i kept BRACING myself in a taxing womanf or something to go horribly wrong but no, things just slowly got better and better for the TAXING WOMAN

they also never say YOU’RE A TAXING WOMAN or WOMAN, YOU’VE BEEN TAXING in the movie which i havent decided is a good or bad thing yet

im going to get free trial of criterion so i can watch like 6 more of his movies with her in it, im so excited for SUPERMARKET WOMAN a story about a failing supermarket that gets fixed by eccentric and perfect nobuko miyamoto. i love that in every movie something sucks and the only person smart enoguh for the job is his wife. also all the loving shots of her face are great. what a wife guy. RIP

OH YEAH HES ALSO COMPLETELY OBSESSED WITH TITTY SUCKING

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black lizard

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Watched Throw Down by Johnnie To on discord with a bunch of my local game dev friends. What a movie!! It takes place in a world where everyone, for some reason, is a master level judo athlete. The movie starts with a plucky judo man headed to a bar to meet a judo master he wants to fight… the judo master is disgraced, however, and an alcoholic, and he’s taken time off from judo to become a professional guitarist (???) and a pickpocket (???). Suddenly a homeless singer joins them, and almost without discussing it they become a nightclub band and also a crime trio. They go to an arcade and try robbing a gangster, Boss Savage, who is ALSO a judo master, and remembers our disgraced hero… and wants to give him money?? It is baffling. Soon, everyone is hurling everyone onto the ground using judo moves and trying to convince our hero to return to the world of judo.

The shit they combine with judo in this movie is endlessly creative and entertaining. There’s a judo bar brawl scene where everyone suddenly reveals that they all know judo and all start throwing one another in dead silence, no sound effects, while the son of one of the judo masters sings enka music on a stage. There are some brilliant slapstick scenes. Everyone in this movie loves each other so much, too… it’s wonderfully and unexpectely warm. Everyone clearly wants to kiss all the time but they are doing judo instead. There are also 4 or 5 scenes where people run around with huge fat stacks of cash in their hands and drop it all over the ground poetically and beautifully. A movie of extremes!!

Unfortunately, however, some parts of the plot are extremely confusing. There’s a subplot I don’t want to spoil which uses way too much subtle misdirection. If you watch it and find yourself completely confused, we were all confused too. Loved it anyway, though. Louis Koo does an amazing job of playing a man who is just completely disassociating 100% of the time. Also really enjoyed the credits, which feature one of the silliest product placement inclusions I have ever seen.

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Instead of paying attention to the closing minutes of Belle, I’m going to post about how much I hate this movie

I don’t this is a very good movie!

I was thinking “man the internet parts are bad but the real world stuff is pretty good”

And then the last minute plot swerve happens and I’m just so very, very tired

Nothing about this film works together thematically, it’s a fucking mess

Looks nice though

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