Actually, rumor has it she bought that Spanish castle after filming Castle Freak wrapped, and once a year she descends to the dungeons to seep in virgin blood to maintain that complexion. She has never commented on this, either to confirm or deny.
Charles Band (of Full Moon and director of such hits as Trancers, Evil Bong, and The Gingerdead Man) owned that castle, so I’m sure some weird shit has gone on there.
“Don’t you talk ill of Evil Bong – Evil Bong puts mead on the table and keeps a castle over your heads!” are things I’m sure Charles Band has had to say to his children.
I hear the freak rips off his own dingdong.
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i think goldeneye might be the only bond movie i actually like lol
also we watched return to oz today, on a weird kind of psycho kids movie kick after watching a wrinkle in time a couple days ago
return to oz is real good, the practical special effects are all incredible and hold up amazingly well. i’d never seen this movie, all i knew about it was it scared the shit out of my big sister when she saw it at like age 5. the beginning is definitely super dark and it’s a very weird tonal direction to go in for a sequel to wizard of oz, but other than that i really liked it.
a wrinkle in time was… well… i mean the best i can say about it is it reminded me a lot of those kind of mythopoetic surreal kids movies from the 70s-80s, but after watching an actual one of those in return to oz i can say… a wrinkle in time is a very bad movie lol. just a series of very strange decisions, too many to list really.
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Thought you were talking about Wonderful Land of Oz, where half the cast is on valium and the rest are teenage girls trying to take over the emerald city because they want to be able to sleep in as long as they want.
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return to oz seriously fucked me up as a kid.
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oh, i think i saw this as a kid! only remember the wheeled creeps and the desert that turns you into sand when you touch it, but i appreciate those memories
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watched Back to the Future Part 2 last night for the first time since i’d seen it when it came out in theaters.
it’s not bad! it’s pretty interesting, and feels like it leans into the science-fiction angle in a different way than the first one did. obviously the first one is sci-fi, but i feel like since so much of it is spent in the 50s, its primary function is as a vessel for boomer nostalgia, whereas this one really tries to lean into thoughts about time paradoxes and whatnot.
also, is this the only film that has ever had an advertisement for its direct sequel at the end? i forgot that was a thing that happened.
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As a kid, the second one was always my favorite, but as an adult, I definitely prefer the first one because it has that really weird plot of “i fell into the past and my mom fell in love with me instead of my dork dad which is threatening my existence”, which is like, the plot of an ambitious pornography or a harem anime. I also love the shirts and jackets they occasionally have Marty and George wearing throughout the movie, though, I could do without a good chunk of the high school dance scene.
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Wow I’d never heard of this before. That map is incredible. I feel like this sort of thing is probably buried deep inside Wes Anderson’s lizard brain.
This seems to be pretty common! It was definitely notorious in my family growing up because of how much it scared my sister. Watching it now, it is definitely creepy, but probably mostly scary in a way that is specific to very young children. I think especially if parents are taking their kids to it thinking it is going to be as benign as the original Wizard of Oz it will really catch you off guard. But, watching it as an adult, after the extremely bizarre choice to open with a terrifying sequence in which Dorothy is almost subjected to electroshock therapy, it becomes a lot less creepy. The sand is definitely spooky as a concept but nothing bad really happens on screen because of it. The wheelies are very creepy, I think even more so because you can tell they are just people in weird costumes. It feels kind of like that Nightmare on Elm Street movie where Freddy kills someone by turning them into a motorcycle (?).
I think the animated Coraline film is a lot scarier for a kids movie. Someone I know took their kid to see it and had to leave in the middle because they were too freaked out. I guess it’s good to know someone out there is still interested in making kids movies that permanently damage childrens’ minds.
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I mean, Coraline was 11 years ago now so it’s been a while.
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That’s true. I can’t think of anything more recent that might fit the bill? The new Pete’s Dragon movie (also a few years old at this point) seemed like… surprisingly mature looking for a kids movie but I never saw it.
I mean I’m pretty sure I remember my brother waking up screaming about witches thanks to this movie
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watched Wild In The Streets (1968) and enjoyed it a lot, basically a paranoid political cartoon version of Prez: The First Teen President. a naive liberal senator turns to a rock band to help get out the vote, only to have his monster break out of his control and enact laws like “lower the voting age to 15” and “anyone over 35 gets sent to an internment camp to be dosed with LSD all day”. a lot of it is self-consciously campy and stupid but then it has these bizarre tasteless shots of, like, cops shooting teenagers as they storm the capitol, somebody’s bloody hand being pulled away from the barbed wire fence of the enlightenment camp, the main character’s mom screaming “i’m ARYAN! i mean, i’m YOUNG! i’m YOUNG!” as teen stormtroopers pull her into a car. there was a really wonderful part where the senator is tearing down rock posters from his preteen daughter’s room and yelling “from now on, you only read Little Women!” and she screams I HATE YOU DADDY. terrific stuff.
other than that my favourite parts of the movie were
(a) the rockstar’s entourage, who all get potted backstories that read like they’re Lupin III characters, like “15 year old whizkid financial genius and harvard graduate” and “typewriter heiress and masseuse”. the band’s trumpet player has a hook for a hand, which i’m positive must be a callback to hit barbarians single moulty. also, richard pryor is in it(!) and plays a character named “stanley x”.
(b) the main character’s dad looks like theodor adorno and my fan theory is that the entire script was written by adorno in a paranoid fever one afternoon after he called the police on that one student who flashed him her breasts in class.
(c ) the senator’s teenage son betrays him and turns up in a later scene with a case of Extreme Dylanification to show he’s now on the side of the mods
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The only movie my kid ever made us leave was unforgivable sub-Bay teen sfx action drama AXL because it was so unimaginably loud it hurt his ears
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have you ever been prouder
I finally watched Legend. Holy shit that ruled. How could every set look that good. And then. And then:
Blade Runner pillar.
I made a joke like a month ago about the blade Runner pillars showing up in other movies. And then it actually happened.
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yeah also the footage of the unicorn is reused from Legend in some versions of Blade Runner, as well
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Gonna watch the counselor just waiting to lean over and go “that’s the pillar from blade runner.”
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i love famke janssen so much in this movie. she knows she’s playing a totally ridiculous villain character so she plays it up so much and the movie is much better for it. sean bean is a good villain also, and ourumov is a nice totally inept villain to have as well.
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