okay i had heard this from several people beforehand, but i was still not prepared for there to be three tracks
this is exactly the kind of nonsense i’d put my OC through as a bit
Metroid Prime 4: Beyond Parody
8 Likes
A character in Prime 4 says the word “casserole”.
10 Likes
It’s what we in the business call a mixed fruit pudding.
4 Likes
and “red velvet cake”
dude also likes curry
i guess liking food is a personality trait
2 Likes
I missed a room, entered a new area that triggered a cutscene and gave me an AI partner, tried to go back and now leaving the area triggers a message and turns you around.
A Metroid where characters don’t let you backtrack. Eat your heart out, Other M.
12 Likes
The “Great Mines” area answers the question of “What if the Phazon Mines sucked in a slightly different way?”
It’s a highly-scripted, highly-railroaded combat-gauntlet/melodrama-simulator that locks you in once you enter and has no less than 4 one-way passages. The moment-to-moment combat is fortunately less annoying than the Phazon Mines (no color matching nonsense), but they decided to compensate for that by making the main boss an even more annoying version of the Omega Pirate. “What if the boss was the one circle-strafing you!?” is such a funny concept for a Metroid Prime boss that I can’t help but respect it.
I still can’t get over how this game’s civilization-ending mutagenic substance literally called Green Energy. (Even funnier when you consider that it’s not a renewable resource.)
(I gotta wonder whose idea it was to give so many things in this game stupid Mountain Dew-core names. Like, one of the scans in the Flare Pool area refers to the place as “Magdrahda Volcano,” and it genuinely feels like an accidental leftover from a previous version of the script.)
14 Likes
Did they still get Android Jones to do concept art for this, or did he get lost in some LLM fueled Burning Man vision quest
2 Likes
100% items, 90% scans, 17:38
what an absolutely bizarre, sloppy mess of a game
Bottom Line: AAA game development is the practice of making the most talented people on the planet work for people who don’t know what they’re doing or what audience they’re targeting
16 Likes
an interview in Famitsu with the “development team” (presumably Tanabe) has been making the rounds, despite the only full translation being some dubious DeepL stuff:
reading between the lines, it seems that by the time they realized they had a dud on their hands, it was too late to fundamentally reshape the project (oops)
if nothing else, the interviewee has a correct understanding of the best aspect of the final game:
Q: What is the biggest appeal of Metroid Prime 4, in a nutshell?
A: Technically, the stunning graphics using massive texture data.
apparently Steve Burg was in charge of concept art. odd to see this on his resume
also, apparently this does take place between Super and Fusion. i thought the whole “20X9” date in the initial trailer/intro was a mistake, but no i guess Sylux stole the metroid in Fed Force so they could escape from the M1-M2 interquel jail to, uh, make a game whose plot has no bearing on the rest of the series
9 Likes
the game seems like it’s a new kind of annoying, but here’s my question:
if I really loved Prime 1 at release but thought 2 and 3 were completely abysmal experiences, is there any hope i’d enjoy 4?
I think I can deal ok with a boring open world and the endless AAA yammering on
Unrelated to anything, I wish I got the Metroid Dread figma. I remember not getting it at the time because I assumed it’d be in circulation for a while, like the Zelda figmas. How wrong I was 
Hope they do a reprint someday.
3 Likes
This is sort of a response to isfet and sort of my mini review.
So I watched and played a few hours of Prime 4 around christmas; my brother brought it over.
The yammering wasn’t that bad. The dork guy is somewhere between Navi or the Owl from OOT. Hes not even really that annoying.
The desert is stupid but not especially annoying. If they just stuck the areas next to each other the game would be like 15% better. If they made them interconnect in a non-linear / maze-like fashion it would be like 75% better. This game feels very much like a Skyward Sword reaction. But instead of the sky you have the desert. You zoom around doing sick jumps on your motorcycle and then enter a fairly linear area where you navigate the new gimmicks.
The lightning tower area was visually cool but it feels like its half missing. I never felt like I do in the good metroids where youre like 1000 feet down in the shit surviving. This game loves a safe empty hub. It waaas sort of hilarious that one of the remaining working systems in this blasted ruin is the vehicular licensing and distribution system.
The baddie bots feel cribbed from the Starwars prequels. The environment doesn’t seem to wants to eat you like in Prime 1.
Maybe the patterns change up later but I really doubt it.
My overall impression of this metroid is that it feels like a AA or B title. I feel like there is heart in some of the pieces but not in the overall direction.
9 Likes
how’s it on this front?
This is dropping in used price for the Switch version pretty fast so I’ll be ready to Hate Review it by spring
4 Likes
Who’s taking the title “Samsung Allan”
6 Likes
literally please someone has to
2 Likes
I’ve had mine for ages. I will bear the name Samsung Allan proudly
11 Likes
thanks for taking the hit for me
7 Likes