I got a major kick out of “the tape.”
The long long ago belongs to the analog purist.
The troopers don’t hit shit in a New Hope because they’re not trying to kill Leia & co, rather they’re trying to chase them off the Death Star so they can follow them and find the rebel base. That’s exactly what happens, so it was a pretty good plan!
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Rogue One is a movie I guess I’d describe as “fine” or “not that bad,” but then if you tried to talk to me about it, all I’d be able to do is complain.
Funnily enough, it shares some central sins with the prequels:
- An ensemble cast of boring, unlikable non-characters
- Action scenes that are “the best action scenes in Star Wars ever” because they are way too long and thus become almost immediately unmoored from emotional resonance, ultimately just becoming spectacle for spectacle’s sake
- Hacky fan service
- Bad puns
- Bizarrely direct A-to-B tie-ins with events in other episodes in the series
- More hacky fan service
- Bizarrely overblown interpretations of throw-away lines from the original trilogy that ultimately cheapen your memories of the original trilogy
I had the impression that this was going to be a standalone movie in the Star Wars universe in which Disney shrewdly allowed someone to do their own thing. Then I heard some kind of alternate John Williams fanfare, and I was like, “Oh no. This will just be some sort of TV movie of Star Wars.”
The first act felt like an okay official comic, and the rest of it was just sound and fury signifying nothing.
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Wanna be more specific on this.
So, basically, when they say a rebel spy (or whatever they say) got the plans for the Death Star, I imagined a lone spy, sneaking into an Imperial base to get the plans. Or maybe someone procuring them from a mole or something. Y’know: because the Empire are Nazis, and the Rebellion is the French resistance, and that’s kind of how they did things.
Of course, Rogue One teaches us that the plans for the Death Star were actually procured via a, like, 10 hour full frontal assault on a heavily fortified Imperial base with accompanying space battle in which three star destroyers and a planetary shield were destroyed, in a tremendously significant military defeat.
Aside from feeling overblown and premature, it just seems to cheapen what once felt like a story that didn’t need to be told.
I don’t get the complaints about characters. I liked all of them because they’re novel in terms of their roles and haven’t been run into the fucking ground.
Krennic is the principal from Ferris Bueller the way he lurches between bad luck.
This went down a bit on a second watch. The ragtag group of rebels just don’t have the kind of engaging rapport I want from war movies, stars or otherwise. Shane Black’s pussy jokes in Predator provide him with more characterization than Cassian has the entire movie. Still some neat lasers though.
The two leads are pretty boring, but all the side characters were fun enough. Donnie Yen, people! Donnie Yen.
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RLM ruined how people (on the internet in general) talk about Star Wars. I am going to scream if I read another comment about how the character motivations aren’t clear in the movie about space nazis and a planet-destroying laser.
In seven samurai they take a lot more than 10 seconds to introduce each samurai and afterwards they talk to one another and talk about what is going on all the time and you get to see what they’re all like constantly instead of being blank weirdos occassionally reciting weird movie trailer lines
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It’s also twice as long.
R.I.P. Carrie Fisher
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as if millions of teen bonners suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced
she was underemployed
what you mean The Time Guardian wasn’t enough?
I’ve never agreed with RLM more. Star Wars is exactly at their level:
my what a long video
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That video rubbed me the wrong way because where TFA has (maybe worse) fan service and frustrating characters, Mike had nothing but bleary-eyed praise for it. I seriously don’t understand why TFA gets to have X-Wings/TIEs/Superweapon/Lightsabers and it’s somehow a problem here. TFA has more charismatic actors in the leads, but it’s baffling that they don’t like Donnie Yen or feel that he’s a political casting decision.
I suspect it’s that TFA had the benefit of following a ten year hiatus and R1 is the second annual release. I don’t know, man.