Let's just talk about Star Wars forever (Part 1)

I had to give a presentation in Marine Biology that i had footage of dolphins play over and right when the speech ended the ending to Jaws played.

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In my high school public speaking class I chose to do a speech on videogame violence specifically so I had an excuse to bring my PSX and play GTA3 in front of the whole class

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I used a camcorder to record my computer screen while I played Heroes of Might and Magic II and then I brought that tape to my 9th grade speech class and oh god why did I do that

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PS2 whatever the fuck

You weren’t even born yet for christ sake

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Wait I was joking about you not being born yet but doing the math that might be close to true?? What the fuck???

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I did a documentary in the style of Roger and Me by Michael Moore but about waterboarding

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In high school I made a movie about a ball-point pen that murders people. Discovered that the vinegar in ketchup makes it a bad blood substitute around mouths.

Later in high school we did a few scenes of MacBeth with choreographed martial arts fights, as we were all in some form of martial arts at the time.

Not quite as good as the time we rewrote a scene from Bram Stoker’s Dracula where my male-identifying ass crossdressed as Lucy and had Van Helsing’s stake pop one of my balloon breasts (I then made a pierced nipple joke; we were shitty teens)

I was really comfortable putting on a dress for a play, but one time when I lost a bet and had to wear a kilt was really uncomfortable for me. Go figure.

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it sounds like you all had much more interesting high school work than I did. However, I was expelled for a year and then spent the remaining two years doing makeup credits. my only prominent memory of a project was a presentation on the novelization of westworld where I preceded to talk about jurassic park a lot.

in high school I took a lot of naps and built a scaffolding around “we all die someday what’s the point”

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I was drunk every other day and had relationships and interactions with human beings and still got excited about things so it was the high point of my life

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Wish I got to make cool student films in school. Best I got was building some epileptic fit inducing flashing screen program in QBasic that someone put on all the computers to make the teachers think there was a virus.

Also there was that presentation I gave to instruct the class on how to perform alectromancy, but I didn’t have a live chicken handy for a proper demonstration, so I just drew a picture on the whiteboard

In highschool I had to do a history paper for my final so I did one based on a clear throughline in WW2 era propaganda to Warhammer 40k

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The best German homework I ever delivered according to my teacher was a retelling of one of Dark Earth’s action cutscenes. Thanks, videogames. The teacher knew something was up and asked me if I had that from a movie. I said no, videogame. Her reaction was “huh…” I wish she would have told me keep playing videogames and keep writing, you’re a good kid but instead some time later she threw a videogame magazine right in my face because she thought I was looking at porn. It was an ad for a Lulu game I’m pretty sure. There were a couple of raunchy German games back in the day, like Bing! (sexy nurses in a hospital sim) and Wet (porn empire sim with your star, Lulu).

That’s all the videogames for school work stories I have. One time we had to do a book report and the other guy I had to work with proposed a Magic the Gathering novel because he was into the game at the time. I was excited but it turned out I hated the book and didn’t even finish it, so he had to do everything. That was the first and only time I was the weak link in a school project. Thanks, card games

I once collaborated (and basically made) an incredibly jingoistic and bad ZZT game about the American revolution called “Redcoats” for my friend in another junior high to use as extra credit in a history class.

I promised I’d make one about the novel “A Separate Peace” when I was in 10th grade, but I didn’t. It would’ve been terribly tasteless and embarrassing, but I still kind of wish it existed.

God I wish anyone still talked about Star Wars this way

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it’s amazing that this is basically all it takes to make Lawrence Kasdan the Screenwriting Genious of Star Wars

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was trying to remember Yaddle’s name so i searched for Girl Yoda and this is the first result

you’re welcome/i’m sorry

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what, did yoda suffer from Cotton Hill knee-feet?

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