Let's just talk about Star Wars forever


i mean shit even this one gets me kind of pumped up


Hell yeah get pumped!


I saw it, it was… OK!

It was definitely the closest thing to an EU Movie that has happened yet, for better or for worse

mild spoilers below but i’ll try to tag the more specific stuff

despite having a modestly diverse cast it is a major step back thematically, in that the women in the movie basically exist only to suffer for the sake of building character for the menwhich will probably make the TLJ Foes feel warm and cuddly about themselves

I will probably forever be irritated that someone didn’t just do a quick find and replace job to switch Woody Harrelson and Thandie Newton’s characters around. That alone would have made the movie a hundred times better, plus Newton is clearly a better and more interesting actress. Harrelson is just… like, literally Yondu, but Woody Harrelsonier. No surprises there.

There’s a whole sequence featuring a nascent droid/slave revolt. While I really like the idea of showing the seeds of the rebellion already taking root with varying degrees of success (done much better in the final act of the movie, which IMO is the best part), the way this is played for laughs–including a major character death that is resolved in a super weird, canon-altering way–is kind of disturbing. I like it for its weirdness, in how it totally complicates everything else involving droids in the rest of the series, but wish that a better writer and director had been able to inject a tad more sincerity into it. I will probably think a lot about why the robot from Rogue One works and the one in this movie… doesn’t.

Every throwaway line that foreshadows a famous Han Solo Movie Moment is stupid and probably could have been removed, I’m fine with the way the kessel run was actually incorporated into the plot, however. Mainly because the sequence looked really cool.

Most unexpected thing Disney must have found a deep discount on red face paint this year, holy shit. I am working under the assumption that darth maul returning is probably some nonsense from the cartoons, and other than that one scene will probably stay there. But wow.

My favorite part was the Teräs Käsi reference.

Overall I was surprised by how this movie worked both as a prequel to episode IV and also potentially for another Han Solo-centric new movie. Even though I didn’t love the movie, I left it surprisingly open to seeing how they would do another one.

the only benefit of Ron Howard’s involvement are the Clint Howard and Warwick Davis cameos. Pretty sure he’s literally wearing the Willow costume.


Darth Maul got a cybernetic spider body and now looks like Quelaag.


That’s funny because my girlfriend saw this as a super feminist movie and wondered why there were so few women in the theater. She thought it was the most feminist out of all the Star Wars movies, which certainly surprised me but I can see her point

She loved the female droid and Emilia Clarke’s character


Now realizing that the only other femme droid I can think of is the protocol droid from the first sequence in Phantom Menace…


phoebe waller bridge is the only reason I want to see the movie


The TLJ foes are very, very mad about his movie.

Kasdan’s kid’s off-hand “yeah, I guess Lando could be pansexual” comment is seen as HORRIBLE SJW ASSAULT ON THE VALUES OF TRUE STAR WARS FANS and another sign that KATHLEEN KENNEDY IS FORCING PROGRESSIVE NONSENSE INTO MY SPACEMOVIES!!!

The Droid Rights droid is being called the SJW DROID. There are many, many Youtube videos about her and how this another example of KENNEDY RUINING THE FRANCHISE WITH SJW NONSENSE!!! This is REAL FUNNY because the movie’s actual treatment of her is sorta regressive? I mean, everybody is rolling their eyes at her the whole damn time until Lando’s reaction when she gets blasted, but the blasting itself is tonally pretty weird given where it comes. Like, if she had listened to the eye-rollers she wouldn’t have gotten reduced to a navigation computer to be struck in frustration for all eternity.

But because this droid is, uh… against the slavery of her fellow sentient beings she’s the SJW DROID and a certain subset of the internet has made of her a totem of what they despise. (In a franchise that’s depicted droids as feeling beings at least since they showed one being tortured w/ hot metal in the OT?)


IN CONCLUSION I hate myself and like to suffer and sometimes that means watching long youtube videos from channels with names like GEEK&GAMERHOMETEAMBROS that end on long rants about uh wait let me see I transcribed one into discord last night

“I can’t believe we’ve reached this point in Star Wars. It’s so pathetic. So pathetic! So pathetic! These pathetic people! That just want to virtue signal and project and how good they are to everyone else! When we all know it’s lies! You are not good people! Because we are not good people. Human beings are inherently flawed. We all have problems. We all have faults! None of us are perfect. We are all shitty in one way or another!”

can’t believe people say lando might be not-straight and put women in my starblast movies just to pretend they’re perfect smdh


I never should have assumed these parasites could be happy about anything


shrug I think you spend an unhealthy amount of time in these particular trenches


This is why the DCCU’s rake-steppin’ is so gratifying. The reactionary objectivist pop culture just sucks.




That’s cool! I did like Qi’ra more than the others. Maybe I’m just overthinking it


shrug’s whole thing is to go where the poison is. Heretofore it had been toxic masculinity. That stuff is cute next to the reactionary nerdnazis now. He’s evolved, like a pokemon that only eats garbage


OH I almost forgot to mention another very good moment

when they put the Magic Goo in the Millennium Falcon and it zooms inside the engine to show the explosion happening up close, and it is basically like a NOS scene from a Fast and Furious movie… but ultimately all that made me do was think about how much better the movie would have been if they just conceded from the beginning that the best the movie could possibly be is Fast and Furious … In Space. I mean it even opens with a getaway scene in a speeder…


The extent to which this hypothetical movie is Mad Libs easy is stuck in my mind.

I never thought I’d trust a criminal smuggler.

You know those old Westerns holodramas where the cowboys smugglers make a run for the border Outer Rim?

We don’t ever, ever let them get in their cars ship.

It’s all between you and the car ship you build. It’s a bond. It’s a commitment.

You could use electrolemon’s Gambino rap!


Out of all the spin offs I’d probably like to see something about the life of a Tusken Raider the most. Something like that. Some obscure group of people in the Star Wars universe that still have some connection to the main canon. You can’t tell me you wouldn’t be hype for LIFE OF A TUSKEN RAIDER: A STAR WARS STORY.

Or something about a carpenter and the making of Star Wars beds, to quote @geist


there are no carpenters in star wars


Ewok Adventure But Good: a Screenplay is definitely sitting on someone’s desk right now

Personally, no jokes, I want to know more about the Jedi temple cult on Jeddha

Like: The Name of the Rose but they’re Jedi monks