Let's just talk about Star Wars forever (Part 1)

Hey guys, I thought The Force Awakens was just ok. Played it super safe and super clean and in many respects, felt like it was frequently too brief on subjects or characters. It didn’t feel “authentic”. I’m sure as much has been said, before. I do like Rey, however.

I thought Rogue One was pretty excellent. Despite the fact its ANOTHER story about an orphan/semi orphan who goes on to do big things and has a father who is involved in big things; It had the “authentic” feel I was missing in FA and also still felt original enough.

I’m pretty happy that Rian Johnson is getting his own trilogy. With an already complete universe and unlimited budget, I think that guy could probably do something amazing. Without some of the little hiccups in his original, budget constrained films.

Wait, one of those wasn’t Coruscant? Did something else happen to Coruscant I forgot about?

Coruscant is untouched. And apparently is just a member of the New Republic instead of being host for the Senate now (that’s being rotated among the planetary members depending on random lot because it’s a Democracy guys).

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Hey, Toptube! I just thought of you a while ago because I was researching bikes

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aghhh the hype is real

it is going to be a struggle to avoid spoilers now that it has premiered, especially now that the spoiler-free reactions have nevertheless confirmed that there is definitely something major to spoil so while i am still pure i am going to document this list of theories both plausible and implausible. i bet at least one of these will be right.

–Rey is Anakin’s real mother and she was frozen in carbonite, mind-wiped, and given false memories of a childhood on Jakku
–Snoke is Rey’s dad
–Snoke is Rey’s shadow self from the black lodge
–Finn is actually the one in which the “force awakened” and the trailers with him fighting Phasma with that electro staff were edited for the trailers to remove the light saber
–Finn is a First Order sleeper agent
–Everyone is hyping the actress cast to play Rose Tico and not the other woman cast to play her sister because the sister dies and that is what inspires Rose to play a more active role in the rebellion (i’m like, 90% certain of this one)
–Rey is both Luke’s daughter and Obi Wan Kenobi’s granddaughter (this one is a classic prediction from after the first time I saw The Force Awakens)
–Snoke is another ex-Yoda disciple that went bad (or Snoke is Qui-gon Jin)
–Maz Kanata is Yoda’s estranged ex wife
–Kylo Ren and Rey have a brief romance before realizing that they are siblings
–Laura Dern and Benicio Del Toro are Rey’s parents
–Luke determines that he needs to take out both Kylo Ren and Rey for the galaxy to be at peace so they have to team up to stop him
–Rey is somehow descended from Palpatine
–Poe will actually die this time
–Rey’s parents remain ambiguous but Snoke is able to seduce her to the dark side, by the end of the movie Kylo and Rey have switched allegiances
–Rey is a porg

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I hope they are all porgs.

I hope porgs are revealed to be a progenitor race that seeded the galaxy with all its sapient species.

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‘Electronic Labrynth THX 1138 4EB’ is clearly the name of a JRPG you can only buy as a download on PSVita

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this movie was so funny

It delivered.

Not sure why the press lied about Luke’s first lines, his actual ones are way better.

it was meh besides certain scenes and its visuals.

but on the other hand, i guess it’s as good as it gets under the crass commercialism of disney overlords.

fuck just make kotor2 into a movie

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This was a two hour Battlestar Galactica episode.

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If that character comes back for episode 9 I am going to scream with Laughter.

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all good so far but just a friendly reminder to use those spoiler tags liberally ppl some of us aren’t able to go to the very first possible screenings T-T

The Last Jedi was so much better than TFA as to make it embarrassing for all parties involved that JJ is stepping back up to the plate for Episode 9

Space Hobo Luke is a cool dude and I would hang out with him

time for spoilerz

what the fuck are they going to do about Leia, you would think they would have killed her and it totally seems like they were going to but oh, right, Leia has the Force too

I’m mad that they were like “hey, the codebreaker is a gambler dude” and it wasn’t fucking Lando although with that kind of heel turn, maybe that’s for the best

Kylo Ren is still a petulant child but at least Luke uses that

remember how Phasma got hyped up again for this movie and now she’s dead

Rose is cool when you consider that she’s basically a fangirl shoved into the plot

kind of a little on the nose there about the casino resort being evil

I like how much of the plot is “No, actually, dumb heroics by a tiny amount of people won’t win the war”

My overall and immediate reaction to this is I guess I like that it was its own thing while also evoking ESB instead of being a retread like TFA was to ANH

if there is a just and loving god, they will bring back Rian to finish the trilogy

REST IN PEACE ADMIRAL ACKBAR

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A guy at work said Force Awakens lost him because Kylo was a whiny babyman and I just can’t relate.

I love whiny babby evil boy and his petulant pout and his anime hair.

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shurg you are going to love this dumb movie

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