With his body split in two, Snoke’s torso fell over his legs and the slippers. Upon investigating the throne room’s damage following a skirmish between Ren, Rey, and Snoke’s Elite Praetorian Guards, Hux saw Snoke’s separated body. His slippers remained on his feet.[3]
this is why the User Maintained Internet Encyclopedia format was created
in the spirit of giving, here are things I like about the movie:
shrug I need you to unearth Snoke’s lavender-scented bubble bath next
I went to see this with my mother.
We watched the Last Jedi together on Wednesday and she loved it.
While watching this I kept thinking you would have to be an absolute idiot to enjoy this movie. I thought there was no way I could politely discuss it with anyone. That this is probably what every movie is going to be like once Disney owns everything. Just a checklist of references and fan-approved story beats with absolutely no breathing room. And my dumb ass helped them cuz I paid $20 for two tickets to the dumbest movie I have ever seen.
Anyway it turns out my mother loved this and I am glad I didn’t say that it’s a dumb movie for idiots out loud as that would have hurt her feelings. I did flip off the screen when Kylo and Rey kissed though. Maybe I shouldn’t have done that but I hated this so much and I had been fighting the desire to walk out for about 2 hours at that point. I had to take a bathroom break just so I could send a few texts saying how much I hated it. I did start groaning rather early on. I did not want to be that person but I could not help it. There was an SButt in town and I was missing spending time with them because I’d already bought tickets to this turd.
I am glad I went though, cuz I got to spend time with my mother, who said she liked it because of nostalgia, and how it reminded her of when I was a Star Wars-obsessed kid. I think that is a good justification. That is exactly what this movie was designed to do. I am glad she said the Last Jedi was much better though. I think she declared it an “actual movie”. I think my mom is cool. Big mom fan today. Hate Star Wars though holy shit do I hate Star Wars now.
Am I alone in finding it incredibly distasteful how they throw Rose in the trash, do that brief tease where Finn is going to admit his feelings for Rey but then they decide hey let’s pair these two up with characters that share their respective skin colors. Let’s have the heroine smooch her space nazi cousin. This is blatant pandering to the bigots, right?
Remember the end of Romeo Must Die where Aaliyah and Jet Li just shake hands and walk off into the night or whatever. Yes he was way older than her but that ain’t why the didn’t kiss and I’m still mad about that…!!
Remember how unnerving it was when Livia Soprano came back from the dead 20 years ago. That tech still sucks shit today doesn’t it.
I almost feel bad for trashing all those Marvel movies I haven’t seen cuz there’s no way they’re as bad as this. Marvel’s visual design is worse, sure, but I gotta think they at least take 10 seconds to breathe here and there.
I just want a Snoke slice of life movie.
The Phantom Menace Thread but in space and probably without a lady and it’s Snoke doddering around the massive, dramatic spaces he will only allow others to see him seated in.
Snoke slipping warming packs into the secret inner pockets of his gold kimono.
Snoke silently force choking the elaborately armored guard that overpoured his single dainty glass of evening (space) sherry.
Snoke talking shit about famous Jedi to silent guards then trailing off like dang being a Space Tyrant is lonely, nobody is on your level, you got [spoilered] by [spoiler] so you can’t even decide to just off and [spoiler]
Snoke tuning in to some holographic softcore like Chewie’s dad, just staring and muttering totally still.
Snoke just made the Rey/Kylo force bond thing because he was bored and wanted to peep on their video chats.
Where is my Skin Cream?
Gettin’ Old is Like Being Up Sith Creek, Episode IV
as he lies on his divan,
a holocron falls out of his hand
the camera taking an intense interest as it rolls down the stairs
Blue Milk,
he whispers
snap zoom to the droid that heard it all THAT’S RIGHT NO PLOT HOLE HERE INTERNET THIS ONE’S BETTER THAN CITIZEN KANE STAR WARS NOW CERTIFIED BETTER THAN CITIZEN KANE
Oh that droid must be McClunkey. Greedo was trying to warn us about Snoke, all along.
I am surprised at other people’s surprise that Kylo and Rey consummate their relationship with a kiss. Like it was clear from the beginning that they both had the hots for each other, but one of the better aspects of TLJ was its developing an actual romance that was kinda like, actually erotic. whereas Rey and Finn have negative chemistry, so I just had to roll my eyes every time they tried to broach that idea here.
Oh there was nothing surprising about this movie that’s kind of the trouble with it.
Teasing Rey/Finn again was a terrible idea, especially since Rose and Finn were so cute together, but introducing a new character he has even less chemistry with (who he doesn’t even end up smooching, maybe?? is just a whole other level of dumb
Yeah bullshit. Kylo in the last Jedi is a fuckboy who’s hot and using sympathy to get closer to her as he alternatively negs and acts like he’s the only one who really gets her.
Finn and Rey aren’t necessarily a romance, but they’re two people who helped each get out of bad situations and on with their life. It could become a romance, or it might just be a friendship. But they definitely are people who would like each other.
As someone who’s been in both kinds of situations in my time, I cannot emphasize how fucking creepo Kylo is and how much I like Finn.
Now it doesn’t shock me Disney wants to cannonize sexy abusers, because that’s how mainstream romance works. Even in other Star Wars movies! But it still sucks.
where’s the bullshit? I don’t dispute any of that. I’m just saying I saw a lot of people surprised by it whereas I was expecting it, but maybe I’ve seen too much “Reylo shipping” on twitter
Happy Life Day my brother.
when Rey closes the door of the Falcon and with it her whatever to Kylo it was probably supposed to mean something
who can say what? I’m just a simple country space chicken
I haven’t watched RoS yet but I got the impression in TLJ that Rey and Kylo were gonna be revealed as family members. Because I felt like their force connection was basically saying as much.
On the other 
:
Adam Driver confirmed to have an extremely Large Body 
I personally have no idea why any writer on earth would ever wrap up a love triangle rather than leave it permanently unresolved
two of your characters have somewhat dangerous, unhealthy chemistry to the point where getting them together would seem gross but separating them would be boring? great, you have a wonderful thing on your hands, drag it out as long as possible
like if your instinct is to fix this maybe go be a civil engineer or something, we need more of those
