if beskar iron is so rare + valuable why would the imperial remnant folks leave all the mandalorian armor for Dark Souls 2 Shoulders to salvage? they just machine-blastered everyone then left the bodies in the sewer and didnât take anything? didnât poke around? werenât like âwhatâs the weird showy melty-forgy-deal has constant gas flame jets around the edge looks like it was sourced in a Mongolian grill?â this is the least plausible thing to ever happen in this entire franchise about space wizards and telekinetic green muppets (that are also space wizards)
I cracked up at the Scout Trooper âsharpshootingâ and having trouble doing their job because their superior officer was killed to make an example.
It was very Venture Bros.
you would think that Iâd be really in to Fur On The Shoulders beating on stormtroopers w/ her tools but all I could think about was how the crowning on the hammer face was too sharp and how ill-suited in general it was for the work sheâs implied to do with it + the way the tong handles would slide against one another in her grip making it an absolutely terrible thing to hit anyone with
or use as some kind of weird grappling lever or
well any of the stuff that was done with them
really as a toolperson and Problematic Warrior Raceperson she would know that the best tool for the job is the tool made for the job and as such the tongs and weirdly scifi-ified mallet deal wouldnât be what sheâd reach for when the time came to fight blastermen in this essay I will outli;[08[G23G{uov (y#)(D[0UJB[Oâ3
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Esposito has real M. Bison in Street Fighter The Movie energy and I wish theyâd leaned into it
ooof
oooooooff
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The Rise of Skywalkerâs plot is the scenario design of Star Wars World from Kingdom Hearts 4.
I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain. I know what I have to do but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.
- Breakneck nonsensical DVD menu skipping pacing like a child queuing up the pod race and Theed battle from their favorite movie
- Battle of the Thousand Heartless Fleet
- Core trio of Han, Luke, Leia archetypes superseded by Sora, Donald, Goofy (I wonât say who is who but search your feelings
) -
KairiRose done dirty - The Emperor got norted
- Ben wasnât bad he was norted
- Dark vision of
AquaRey getting norted - Queerbaiting all day long
- Environments are similar to but nominally distinct from the original property as is required for Premium Disney brands like Pixar and Star Wars
- Death is a momentary tug at your heart strings and overcome by sacrifice just like your fanfic
- Chi-blade
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Iâd be okay with Goofy getting his mind wiped.
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I havenât seen the new movie yet but I have seen the old Star Wars Rap video about a million times (I often think-sing the lyrics to myself at odd times, it just pops into my head without warning).
This song is 20 years old, the video 10. The song itself came about during that period where they rereleased the original trilogy in the late 90s but before the prequels had come out. It was the first wave of Star Wars renaissance.
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A certain moment in the new movie immediately had me turn to my friend and recite a couplet from Yoda in this. Same though, an old mental buzz default (very much non-vg you think about a lot).
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one of the agonizing things about this movie is that i think it has a lot of ideas that are potentially interesting in the abstract, but are executed or elaborated upon in the stupidest or most pointless ways.
Like with Palpatine being back â I think thatâs stupid and pointless (and robbed us of a whole movieâs worth of petty Huxlo antics) but I do like the underlying idea that defeating the First Order is more than just a matter of a simple military victory against its current leaders, and that our heroes need to grapple with the ancient/primordial/historical/systemic evils that brought the Empire and First Order into existence in the first place (like how the project of ending American racism and oppression is more than a matter of simply ousting 45). Itâs just that idea was realized in the most stultifyingly literal way possible (if it was ever actually considered at that level at all).
We could have had a Star Wars movie where our heroes grow the Rebellion by working to break down the systemic injustices present in their galaxy â like have our new Jedi liberate slaves (cf. what Anakin innocently though the Jedi were actually like in Ep. 1) or have Finn do anything re:stormtroopers â but I guess that would require them to actually believe in something. Instead we got a MacGuffin hunt that barely even says anything even on a symbolic level.
Similarly, with the Rey Palpatine business, I kind of like the idea of our hero having to grapple with coming from a heritage of evil dudes. Itâs just that the series already did that with Luke and Kylo and, like, I think having parents willing to sell you to the gig-economy-slave-planet for cash is Evil Enough whatever dramatic purposes they had in mind (counterpoint: they did not have dramatic purposes in mind).
Also, also, regarding Palpatine, when people say that they shouldnât have brought him back, I always see/hear responses along the lines of âbut then what would the movie have been about???â and i just
i just
i canât
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I finally saw it I did it I took cash people gave me for the holiday that I should have spent on medical bills and blew it on a Stars War but now I can do more than just make jokes about the things I have read about the movie! Substantive critique here I come!
âŚ
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Yoda shitpost time.
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Imagine a movie where Kylo Ben is actively leading the First Order while simultaneously forcetiming Rey and struggling with them Good Light Impulses Just Like Gramps while Hux and Richard E. Grant and whatever bureaucratic whoevers are umming in the background instead of the one we got where heâs immediately subordinated to Oh No He Back Again! and spend the rest of the movie following Rey around like âidk girl maybe you wanna go darkside so I can be top dog again? help me stab this dude? hereâs a little something about you yourself you may not have known! what about now?â
Ben Solo @ the end of a better movie being like I DONâT WANT TO KEEP BEING EVIL but the machine of evil heâs been feeding is still running so he sacrifices himself at least in part to throw a wrench in the gears instead of just reviving and getting a kiss from the woman heâs been stalking all movie?
8 Likes
I looked at my watch the Super Big Dick Gun Underhanger Star Destroyers erupt from Some Ground at about the 5 minute mark. What if they just let the scene breathe? What if I had any idea what the geography of this place was before it started budding capital ships? What if they had let anything breathe, ever?
In the desert bit some troopers on an overlook say WE HAVE SPOTTED THE FUGITIVES then immediate cut to Our Heroes in the desert The Moment Their Pursuers Catch Up And Start Shooting itâs awful. Itâs terrible. I couldnât even enjoy it as Some Dumb Fun because itâs arrhythmic noise. Like Stephen Sommers made it circa 2003.
5 Likes
luke + leia now the perfectly smooth synthetic stones inset with poorly translated kanji affirmations you buy from the garden store
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Luke is so obviously Donald. Like goddamn. Like you could just map Donald onto TLJ Luke and it would actually rule. But yeah, RoS was paced like the Pirates of the Carribean worlds, so yeah, KH4 is probably right if KH4 wasnât going to just be TWEWY 2, which it is, but that might just be the first world Sora and Riku are stuck in.
I mean, that is almost just the normal state of Goofy. Dude does not focus on remembering stuff at all. Dude died once and forgot about it like 2 minutes later.
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âNo strong feelings re: The Evil Empire that enslaved my whole homeworld and whose functionaries treated me like dirt if they even bothered acknowledging me. Also they locked me in a cage and made me eat people? Were they trying to turn me into an ewok? Anyway the shadow state that has risen in its image also gets a big whatever from me. Born in a swamp, raised in a swampy pit, welding and gelding is all that gets me lit.â -excerpt from Chewbaccaâs Secret Diary (KEEP OUT)
12 Likes