Games you’ve played today: Fourteen by Kazuo Umezz

For 25 years Evil Twin: Cyprain’s Chronicles has loomed in my head. It was one of 3 PAL exclusive dreamcast games (along with Headhunter and Shenmue 2) announced after the Dreamcast was killed. The legend goes it doesn’t play on ntsc sets which is why I never imported it.

So it took my family being out of the house on a monday morning to finally play it. Folks they don’t make them like this anymore. Everything about the art says sarcastic grim-dark fantasy about fighting your Evil Twin. Wrong idiot, stupid.

You’re an orphan who renounces imagination on your birthday so your fellow orphans are kidnapped and pulled into a hell dimension and now you must…well…have very very long Canadian polite conversations with strange creatures. The conversations are very boring and they go on forever.

When you finally do get to play even if they gave you a simple objective they did not give you any direction and you are left in round hubs with no landmarks but incredible texture work. It is one of those games that tells you how to jump and read signs, but actually playing the game is a complete mystery filled with “HOW!” and “NO WAY!”

Your main attack is worst than OoT slingshot while being pelted with heatseeking blobs that knock you out of 1st person mode. It’s a special misery only games of this era provide. Also good luck identifying what you could possibly be going on.

Know that we were screaming and laughing the entire time. At one point @boojiboy7 in a joke told me to “get better.” And I felt myself actually get mad, because it was inscrutable what being better at the game would mean.

Hey youtubers there is actually no review of this game on youtube. Just people playing the first 30 minutes and calling it a review.

The texture work and the aesthetics are great. That they are employed for this game is a shame. Glad I closed the cycle (completed the first world and skimmed a longplay.) the way the conversations suck is something I haven’t seen, so often someone went “wow they are still talking.” I felt like a pachislot tilt alarm was going off in my brain.

24 Likes

This seems to have been the passion project of the little studio that made it.

Edit: The main character reminds me of something between Dennis the Menace and Dennis the Menace

16 Likes

I’m putting Spiritfairer down, for now. Thinking about playing it makes me not want to play anything. Which might feel unduly harsh but something about the game’s cadence really drains me. Maybe I’ll revisit this one on another platform one day in the future.

3 Likes

my Steam demo stream tonight was a bit of a disaster and i had to cut it off way short because of internet being weird due to the storm and my computer just being generally unable to handle doing two things at once. but i did manage to play a lot of demos for Next Fest regardless. my goal was playing about 30 demos and i think i managed 20 so far, but there’s still several for me to check out. anyway here’s a first batch of impressions:

Zortch 2

i haven’t played Zortch 1 but this had the vibe of a b- or c-tier retro FPS from the late 90’s and early 2000’s - sort of in the Quake 2 mold except with bigger maps and more enemies, like a Serious Sam type of game. both the level design and the enemy design just felt so reminiscent of a particular era: the opening area was a giant brown dam where enemies kept spawning in in different parts of the map as you sniped them from afar. kinda had the vibe of a wave shooter in a multiplayer map. but then it changed to more typical hallways and stuff. i wasn’t compelled enough to play more than about 20 minutes - maybe because i died and didn’t feel like restarting the whole play-through, and it was the first demo i booted up.

certainly felt like a game that knows exactly what it is and what it’s going for, but maybe isn’t as wacky or as strange as you might hope given the name and the story behind it. there’s a possibility it gets more that way later - but i also think the Cruelty Squads and the Northern Journeys, or even Slayers X have increased my expectation for retro FPS games being a bit more ambitious in their weirdness and not just emulating something that could have conceivably already existed in the 90’s. so just felt very b or c-tier overall.

rating: it’s okay/10

Akashic Slingshot

another one i found from a previous demo fest in a pile and intrigued me enough to finally check it out. visual style is reminiscent of a lot of tigsource era indie platformers - not anything you haven’t seen before perhaps but it was enough to draw me in initially. the music is more hi-fi and maybe a little generic, but it works pretty well for what the game is anyway. i like how you can customize your little pixel character. game’s sensibility reminds me a little bit of something like Glum Buster, though a bit less weird.

this is one of those gimmick platformers with one central gimmick. the main thing you do is aim and shoot your slingshot at enemies with your mouse, which the game has you do in various different kinds of settings. the stage design is pretty good, with a variety of different hazards. the two environments in the demo are pretty different from each other - one’s some kind of forest, the other’s a futuristic city where you bounce around on jump pads. the city has a target practice area where you can test your slingshot aim, but otherwise these stages are pretty straightforward.

the main focus are the bosses - which are much harder than anything else in the game. the game is one hit kill, which doesn’t matter so much in the stages when you just respawn where you were. but it makes you do the entire boss battle over. the first one is a little challenging but very doable. the second battle (pictured above) is way more like a bullet hell and has multiple phases. still doable, but very difficult and i eventually called it quits after getting a little tired of repeating it so many times.

overall, i wasn’t blown away but it was reasonably well done. and it had heart and a kind of slightly off-kilter vibe that just reminds me a lot of the tigsource era. maybe a bit more hardcore than i was expecting, or its audience would be expecting - but also maybe that adds to the appeal a little, i dunno. but overall it’s just nice to see people still making games like this more than anything else.

rating: pretty good/10

KIDDO

this is another older demo i’d been holding onto to check out eventually. it’s a point and click adventure, and the sensibility is like some combo of a 90’s slacker comedy like Normality and an Amanita Design game. the visual style is really nice, as you can tell from the screenshot, and the audio design has a very distinct feeling to it. you’re a slob man who has a weird little mask in his quite large apartment (at least in the demo) who is close to eviction and whose dog decided to run away because you were too lazy to feed him.

your character is one of the stupidest people in the universe and seems confused by doing basic tasks. the environment is littered with objects you can look at, but only a limited amount you can interact with - which is a little initially confusing. can be a little hard to know what you can pick up and what you can’t, so you can miss important stuff. i am amused at how you seem constantly just barely away from accidentally killing yourself out of stupidity. the ending to the demo also basically involves you poisoning your character.

the puzzles can be a little challenging to wrap your brain around, though rewarding when you figure them out. one of the puzzles involving moving locks around was way too hard/unforgiving for me, though - and i definitely had to look up a solution. maybe it’s just not my type of puzzle though, i dunno.

but other than figuring out what you need to pick up/how to solve one of the puzzles, i really liked this game. the visual and audio design were great, and i loved just how ridiculously stupid and reckless your little guy was. it was a little more like an edgy comic and less Whimsical like things in this visual style tend to be, which i honestly welcomed. it was also weirdly one of two things i played in that session that were focused on slacker shut-ins. i can relate to this a lot in my current state of Depression and financial precarity.

rating: good!/10

Neverway

this is one of the more high profile demos, because it’s the pixel artist from Celeste and Disasterpeace doing the music. i think i’m on record as not being a particularly huge fan of Celeste, but this is a completely different type of game. (i am a fan of Disasterpeace music though - hope he’s doing well lately).

your character is a depressed shut-in who lives in a city and loses her job and her partner because she decides to go dark and not communicate with other people. certainly not something i could ever relate to, not at all. early on you take the train into the city to grab your stuff, and i really liked the look of it. everything just has a really cold, sterile, cruel feeling to it. there are also life sim elements that come up in the beginning - basic stuff like eating and refilling your stamina. in general this opening section i think was my favorite part of the game - it really captured the world of this incredibly depressed person really well.

eventually on the train back supernatural things start happening and you go to some island that you get to name. there’s some like crafting/farming sim elements, it seems like. but mostly it just has you go through a combat tutorial for most of the rest of the demo that’s reminiscent of something like Hyper Light Drifter. i liked some of the crafting elements here, and the visual design remained cool throughout - but this is where the game started to lose me a little bit. the story went a little into anime nonsense at the end and the combat and crafting could be a little tedious. also the training environment just felt a little cliche in general.

but really, the visual design and the sound design were totally top notch. i’m happy to see Rich Vreeland doing more game music, and he seems to have moved beyond doing Fez-style stuff into things that are more intentionally grating and it sounds really cool. i really liked the visual palette too - it communicates a lot about what this game is going for, and some of the more detailed shots were really pretty looking.

but yeah - overall there were things about this game that were absolutely top tier, and then there were others that were a bit cliche. curious to see where it goes though.

rating: half-transcendent, half-mid/10

SPRAWL Zero

yeah… so i talked about this one already a little but it wasn’t for me. computer issues have been acting up, but i was able to play it for a good hour or so. i did want to play it because everyone was blowing their wad for this game. the action is relatively fast and the weapon switching mechanics worked well enough for what it was. there were one or two incredibly hairy situations that you got put into that it felt really good to get out of. not sure i really loved the use of bullet time - it felt kinda like just a mishmash, but it worked well enough for what it was i guess.

i guess the main thing is just nothing about this game isn’t something that’s been done before, but just in a mishmashed form. the visual design and somewhat generic city environment definitely brings back a certain era kind of early ps3/xbox 360 era but doesn’t particularly transcend it (and it lacks color, as Bachelor already pointed out). the story is like so aggressively stupid and meatheady but not in a way that feels like it lands some kind of ironic or campy angle on it. the combat was fast but did just make me think of how much more i liked the pace of Halo in these sorts of hairy encounter/checkpoint based approach to level design. i never particularly liked the whole Doom 2016 rip and tear approach to combat - it feels kinda shallow and like you’re clicking to win and get these elaborate violent animations. i guess less shallow than Call of Duty games or whatever, so that’s why people think it’s so great.

it also just makes me feel like all a lot of people want is a nostalgic version of things that existed 15-20 years ago, which bums me out. like this is the era of games that i got into indie games because i was alienated by them. i’m not particularly enthused about this era coming back as an object of uncritical nostalgia i guess.

rating: meh/10

My Beautiful Faraway, Please Don’t Be Cruel To Me

this is one that i discovered by random demo browsing that really stuck out, and i feel kind of of two minds about. it’s definitely going for that late PS2 Shadow of the Colossus/Haunting Ground type of look, and it achieves it very well. one of the best looking games of this type that i’ve seen. i would love to see more games with environments like this, but maybe i just appreciate the sort of craftsmanship that went into a lot of these early/mid 2000’s PS2 games this is borrowing from.

it’s basically a narrative walking sim with some Silent Hill/Resident Evil-esque puzzles. the world appears to be somewhat abstract, and there are different lost souls that you talk to. it starts in a church with an organ puzzle that i was too lazy to try and figure out, but was very Silent Hill. but then opens up to a more open-ended sort of haunted village in the hills environment shortly after - tho it seems to stay reasonably linear.

it appears to have multiple endings as well depending on different things you do. there’s a couple arguing, and a drunk lady in the woods you have to help out. the puzzle sensibility isn’t necessarily for me, and i’m not sure how i feel about the slavish devotion to capturing the very specific feeling of games of this era. on the other hand, it does look very cool in a way that other games of this type haven’t achieved to the same level. and i do this style works well for a moody walking sim, even if i’m not terribly into the writing in the game. there’s a lot of potential here, but i’m not really confident that the writing is going to realize it at all.

rating: immaculate vibes, okay game/10


anyway, i played way more games than this. but these impressions take way too long to write, i’ll stop there for now and come back later with more.

20 Likes

i liked zortch 1 a lot, i mean it isnt amazing and the opening level sucks, but after that it’s a lot of unreal 1 style fun

disappointed to see that the sequel is so brown, one of the reasons i liked the first was the colours

2 Likes

serious sam was a mistake

3 Likes

it’s actually crazy how horrendous the pacing is in those first few sam games. it’s nice and all that they made their own engine that could fit a tenth of a nuts.wad amount of enemies on-screen, but the actual level design is garbage. slowly plodding through vast, flat landscapes searching for the next box of enemy spawns. i think painkiller was a much better execution of that kind of arena shooter, but it also suffered from some of the same design issues.

5 Likes

This was kinda how I felt. It’s the combination of successive gut punch downer moments with each of your little boat inhabitants, mixed with just how long it takes to gather resources for all the shit they want from you. I think it took me a few weeks of steady play for me to finish it, and when I hit the point of no return “are you sure you wanna proceed” bit I was like, yeah man fuck it let’s get this over with.

Beautiful game, not exactly a fun one.

3 Likes

That was the whole point. = )

3 Likes

Today in “Games I’ve never played but have watched a significant amount of someone else playing”, my roommate has been playing Princess and Conquest, and this game…it’s a lot.

First of all, it is a porn game, and there are over 300 pixel art scenes of your character (or really a featureless purple guy) fucking all sorts of people and creatures. This is not unusual except in its scale. It’s not the most exciting pornography I’ve seen; it’s not the least exciting pornography I’ve seen. It is mostly Cute, to me.

It is also a Zelda game. Seeing as this was made in RPG Maker, the combat seems…okay. Perfunctory? It looks like it feels bad to play but who am I to say - I also think that most top-down Zelda games feel pretty bad to play in terms of combat. I think I’d prefer it if it was just Ys-style bump combat but I’m in the minority outside of SB for preferring that.

It is also a princess maker game - this is the Princess part of the title. Except instead of there being one princess you carefully raise, there are like..12? And you have to complete quests to even get to meet them, and complete more quests to get to know them, and mechanically this sounds like an RPG right? But they all have various stats that are modified in…ways I don’t fully understand.

Also you can get all of them pregnant, and this affects their stories and what you’re able to do with them. In fact, you can have them put their progeny on the throne and then they’ll come with you on an adventure, OR…not. I’m not sure what the alternative is. There are also other ways to get the princess to come with you. I have not inquired.

Speaking of getting princesses pregnant, there is an item that’s essentially a sperm portal? and you can secretly put it in the princesses’ clothing?? and so when you fuck the other paired one it’ll get teleported to the princess and secretly impregnate them??? ??? ???

My roommate describes the main character as a “sexual menace” and I don’t think that even begins to explain how deranged this all is.

Anyway, this game is also a grand strategy game a la simplified Crusader Kings - the Conquest side. Each princess has a reign, and these reigns can go to war against each other. And to my understanding, these are not specifically story events - these are mechanically decided based on who hates whomst, what their strength is, etc. etc. And the main character can, of course, affect this but is often powerless to prevent or fix it without severe consequences. Managing the diplomacy between these princesses and their reigns is a major part of engaging with the game.

There are story events that will affect this though. For example. the Toy princess asked the main character to deliver 3 gifts to other princesses - living dolls, very cute. Except after delivering all three, they fucking exploded, killing at least one princess and starting a major war. And yes, these princesses can fucking die and the consequences of this are severe. I think it can end a reign altogether, I’m not entirely sure. But I do know reigns can end and you just lose access to that princess forever. In a porn game! about fucking princesses!! it’s such a bold choice!!!

There are so many bizarre things about this game. For example, there’s a ninja princess who asks you to steal a scarf of invisibility for her, but you can actually use the scarf instead of give it back. But when you rest at night, she’ll come and steal it in a cutscene. Unless you have a different cutscene that happens before it, because only one scene can happen per night. This lead to the incredible sentence that my roommate spoke out loud:

“I have to make sure I fuck a princess every night, or else the ninja princess will come and steal my dragon’s invisibility scarf.”

What?? Excuse me???

Anyway the mouse princess is pregnant with triplets and the kobold princess with twins and I’m waiting with baited breath for what this means mechanically. I asked if this game would be interesting without the porn part, and they replied “…Yes. Absolutely.”

OH also all the music, to my ears, would run on NES hardware, or at least is doing a damn good imitation of it.

I’ve never seen anything quite as bizarre as this fucking game and I’m having a hard time deciding what its antecedents are. Are there any games, pornographic or no, that could have inspired this? I’m afraid I’m out of my depth when it comes to games of this nature - feels very CD-ROM PC game you find in a bargain bin and play for 500 hours, which was not my scene.

23 Likes

i have been informed that “there are way more than 12 princesses”

14 Likes

I guess I am still fairly early into SNES FF3 but I am reflecting on this series as a whole, from the games I’ve played over the past decade, which is most of the mainline entries. I can appreciate now that their influence, I think, stems mostly from how they pushed for developing the presentation of their storytelling. It doesn’t surprise me that between the two major mechanical innovations to combat that the series saw in these first six entries, ATB and the job system, it was the ATB system that they seem most eager to accept as a staple element to their design moving forward. I don’t like ATB but it does create tension and the potential for drama within combat. Whereas the job system just made the game more fun overall, offering a greater level of strategic consideration. But I don’t think square saw much value in increasing Final Fantasy’s strategic complexity when that meant diverting attention from their storytelling ambitions.

SNES FF3 is by far the most realized story game of the NES and SNES games, though lots of its tricks were present earlier on. It really does feel like a next gen story game. But damn is it so sleepy and frankly boring to play. I yearn for a more engaging JRPG. A more clever JRPG with greater ambitions than pushing “the medium” as a storytelling tool.

Still, I will finish SNES FF3, and with it my project to complete a survey of the mainline 2D FF games. But after this I will probably have a more mature understanding of what it is I want to get out of deep dives into storied franchises of the classic games canon. After this I bet I will be a bit more discerning.

14 Likes

and i’m playin ff9!

i finished this game once in high school. i remember liking it a lot. i hardly remember much of it now so it’s cool going through it. the pace of everything feels kinda calming and the aesthetics of the game are really incredible. i ran around lindblum for a long time and while it felt like the place was too big, it also felt refreshing to remind myself of what an rpg city was like. run around, be curious, talk to everyone, play tetra master, read a bunch of cute lore signs, etc.

hope i finish this, i’m having a nice time.

also when the festival of the hunt music started i was like “is this from another final fantasy?” and i was thinking it was from an older ff but no of course it’s ffxiv pvp music

14 Likes

I played through the entire Order of the Sinking Star Next Fest demo while it is still up (took between 6 and 7 hours) so I should probably write about it. I’m gonna leave the whole Jon Blow-ness of it to the side and just focus on the game itself for now, we can double back to that around the time they start asking money for it IMO.

As noted before the origin idea for this is taking four different sets of tiny puzzle games, expanding upon them and eventually combining them in various ways. I had only played one of them before (Mirror Isles, i.e. the mirror one where you switch positions with the projected image at the press of a button) and while I am unsure how tile for tile exact the puzzles actually are, they feel very tile for tile exact (checking and apparently the first several are, alongside a few later ones and others that are either rotated or have small changes made to them). It was a small game so it does move beyond them, and in the demo content one can see a few new twists that while only touched upon here have a world of potential.

I was unfamiliar with the other two sets shown (one was not in the demo). The more fleshed out of the two was you generally having to switch between multiple characters which differ in availability across the puzzles and in terms of abilities in terms of block pushing. One pushes normally, one can only pull, one switches places with whatever it makes eye contact with, etc. This one does feel like a much more standard block pushing puzzle experience, but well executed. The other is one giant interlocking puzzles across a whole grid of screens where you pick up gems which can power various boxes that fire a light beam across said grid that give you different abilities while standing within it. You pick away and get more gems to activate more things and figure out how to overlap said beams to reach even more, it feels much more self-contained than the others but again well executed.

In terms of how these mechanics overlap with each other… only one puzzle out of the 105 included actually deals with that and it is a very light touch at that. The decision was made for progress to carry over (despite the content not actually being finished, see the missing voices) so it is almost entirely the first hundred or so puzzles you can reach (one short later path is opened up early). As I assume the combination of mechanics is something focused on beyond the earliest bits I guess there was no good way they found to put it into said demo. It does raise some pacing concerns, mainly this is IMHO why you don’t put over a thousand puzzles into your puzzle game.

This sort of raises the question as to the why of this demo. It shows that the base mechanics are good, but this was known as they were considered good in their original games. It shows that they can build more quality puzzles around said mechanics (and let me state this clearly, the puzzles by and large were of rather good quality) but given the number of high quality puzzle game devs/figures hired to work on the game that really isn’t a huge surprise either. There really was only one big mechanical/puzzle question people had about this and it appears it will not be answered until the full game.

While I will question the logic of more or less spending $30 million dollars to remake/expand several (mostly) puzzlescript games the presentation is generally strong. The overworld has some very nice presentation choices (when you enter a different section the title of it is often placed within said world) and while it doesn’t wow everything is very clean and detailed. In the puzzles themselves if you pay close attention you can see faint scrape marks on the ground where you pushed/drug heavy things, you can tell a good bit of care was spent on the small touches. My only real complaint is that due to switching to a slightly isometric view it is sometimes hard to see if there is a usable space behind the mirrors at times, which is very minor.

That leaves… the voices. In practice they are less obnoxious than they were in the trailer, but I am still concerned. In the overworld there are audio logs you find and can play that generally go on for too long (I think Blow himself has admitted as much) and if you walk while listening to them you can occasionally trigger other audio bits which talk over it. It’ll hopefully be cleaned up a bit, it could use it. In the puzzles themselves there is a good bit of in-character talking (each section of puzzles have their own playable characters with their own separate narratives that are also different from the overworld character) with the story advancing as you complete more and more puzzles. There are some clever bits here where what they are talking about, or at least the tone of it matches the puzzle structure. In the multi-person block pushing one there was a puzzle where one character just kept hounding the other with questions while the puzzle itself required the two of them to basically stay atop one another throughout, that kinda thing.

There are some issues with them though. There are times where dialogue is triggered by the end of the puzzle so you end up standing there waiting for the talking to finish before you can move onto the next puzzle. I’ve seen some people mention they have trouble paying attention to puzzle opening dialogue as they are scoping out the puzzle at the time. This may be more personal but all the narratives are different flavors of fantasy and not exactly my flavor of it. Given I’ve seen it described as a narrative puzzle game I probably tuned out more of that than one would hope.

So… what does that all mean? If one was hoping for it to be a disaster it doesn’t appear likely to be one (financially perhaps), even discounting the guy whose name is on it he’s assembled a strong team behind it and that has likely ensured that it has a high floor. That said if one was looking for evidence of continued genius from Mr. Blow that also is not present in said demo, by design all that stuff was saved for the game proper which is a curious choice. My biggest concern heading in is the same now that I’m done: the pacing and scope might be problematic. Earlier puzzles generally take much less time than the later ones; if that time was instead consistent you’d still be looking at a 60+ hour game here, this could easily spiral to 80-100+ hours depending on how tricky it gets if the “over a thousand puzzles” claim is legit. The voice lines weren’t great but I found them easy enough to deal with. It’ll probably be good, good odds at pretty good, beyond that feels pretty wait and see.

14 Likes

The audio logs were my least favourite part of The Witness. Sad to hear they’re doubling down

2 Likes

Star Fox Zero has a stealth level where you pilot a drone through a sewer with motion controls so that rob the robot can hack green consoles with the touchscreen. It is nice to see every hated level design at a single time. I quit.

14 Likes

I beat Vampire Crawlers, or at least saw the credits roll. Enjoyed it, doesn’t make my eyes/ears/head hurt like Survivors does when you hit the endgame point of things.

3 Likes

I am very much in the minority in liking the audio logs in the witness, particularly after getting to the ones in the secret zone. They always felt like something for my brain to latch onto when there was otherwise no music or anything except ambient sounds. The voices were soothing and the content didn’t really matter. It all felt more like part of being in the world, which itself was very relaxing and contemplative. It also felt like a little undermining of games who tell stories through audio logs, which I’ve realized I don’t much care for. It very deliberately does not tell a story and I’m happy for that.

4 Likes

I forgot about Hell Is Us until this week when I saw it was heavily discounted on both Steam and PlayStation. There are a lot of things I can think to criticize, but they ultimately don’t matter that much because I’m enjoying the experience.

I’ll list some of them anyway:

  • Enemies are kind of generic and samey.
  • I find that many of the puzzles just aren’t worth the effort to solve without looking up solutions in a guide. If using a guide were not an option I think I would have quit early on.
  • They try to address heavy themes but the whole experience is so videogamey that it’s hard to take any of it seriously.
  • The combat is kind of awkward.
  • There are systems I haven’t even bothered learning that I assume matter more at higher difficulties. Okay, maybe this isn’t a true criticism but more an admission of my own laziness.

My list of positives is shorter, but for me they outweigh the negatives:

  • The atmosphere and environments are good.
  • I appreciate the way they created this hidden area of the world with its own history and tried to make it meaningful and morally relevant, even if it doesn’t always work.
  • The minute-to-minute exploration and combat are fun and the overall pace of the game is good, given the right combination of difficulty settings and cheating to solve puzzles.

P.S. This isn’t really a Dark Souls-type game even though it looks like one.

7 Likes

20 bucks? Guybrush smiles upon me

5 Likes