Holy shit, me too! I saw this commercial when I was 6 and it scared me so bad I had trouble sleeping that night. I had to break out the emergency Sesame Street picture books to try and calm myself down. The handmedown ones that pretended to be a newspaper of goings on in Sesame Street.
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turns out I did post the build up way back in 2018
I think this was my return to the forum post
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I can’t get over how the dragon age quest to save the demon possessed child has a kotor 2 style play as one of your party members section that would be kinda cute since you get dialogue as them except THE HELL’S KITCHEN VIOLIN PLAYS EVERY 7 SECONDS IN THE FADE AND IT IS SO FUCKING LOUD
Redcliffe is general is like peak mid 2000s bioware. almost all the choices are illusions, like Alistair gets mad at you if you kill the kid saying it was his mom’s fault so she should have gotten it instead, but if you let the mom sacrifice herself in a ritual so you can save the kid he flips out too. choices and a consequence. Then they commit to a really shitty big battle against Skyrim draugrs (which apparently DAO invented, they look fucking identical) that feels worse than siege of dragonspear, which is on a game engine from 1998, and on top of it you have to try and keep as many people alive as possible. MAXIMUM EXCITEMENT!! Morrigan and Sten started dogging on me for promising to look for the blacksmith’s child in the castle, which we were already going to and will have to search, in exchange for him helping the militia in a matter of life and death. You don’t even get to say anything in response! even though they start moaning about what are we gonna save every puppy in a tree we see now? Why do we even care about this shit?? even though the strategic importance of this town has been well established. its so fucking badly written. just makes them seem like petulant children and the pc always has to look like a bitch. cool. I love having roleplaying done for me, the only rp choices you’re allowed to make in this game are if you think magic is bad or if you’re homophobic. I’m not kidding about that last one.
the most interesting thing in the town is who owns the bar and if you don’t pick the right dialogue with the barmaid before the big battle you inexplicably cannot give her the bar or help her so that’s cool, the options to talk to her about her life just completely disappear for no good reason, even though I fucking own the bar now and should be able to just give it to her. sorry lady I’ll just set it in dragon age keep even though it never comes up again in any of the other games. lol
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I have spent the past hour trying to win a single level of Party House in UFO 50 and I am going to lose my McFreaking mind. I have gotten SOOOO close SOOOO many times and the worst part is that I just keep trying and have no desire to quit.
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thats the party house experience I had. You might need a new gimmick. Or just better luck.
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i’m trying to be patient, but so far Pizza Tower (Switch) is everything i hated about the later Wario Lands combined with everything i hated about Sonic Rush (or would have, had i been desperate enough to actually play it, anyway) combined with everything wrong with ROM hacks as a thing, all wrapped up in an aesthetic as confusing as it is confused.
seriously, what is it with people wanting their videogames to grade their performance? it can’t be a self-esteem thing- hell, i’m not that desperate. does everyone just subconsciously wish they were back in school again? is that what this is about?
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So before the end of the Next Fest I stumbled on something I want to share.
Xenogen is a wonder: someone inspired by the original Metroid to make something other than a Metrovania. Instead they grabbed the basic aesthetic/mood and the idea of a theoretically agile being inside of a walking tank of a suit and decided to build a precision platformer out of it. The difference is that it doesn’t play like any of the precision platformers that already exist, with their focus on air control, dashes and double jumps.
Again you are inside of a walking tank, something that once it starts moving it isn’t gonna stop easily. There is no air control at all (once you jump you continue on your exact trajectory until you land), there is no double jump, the precision comes down to how long you press the jump button and if you want to dash on the ground to build up more speed before doing so. Lot of bottomless pits, if you fall you die and reset at the start of the room. No enemies (that I saw at least), no energy, no weapons, probably no abilities to gain.
It is a wonderful concept and it is cool as heck; I don’t know that it actually works. I was able to get used to the whole “make a quick hop to a closer platformer or to duck under a low ceiling, hold longer for a further one” deal, even managed to get past a truly metroid-esque self-destruct sequence (which is much scarier in this set-up!) but after that was something with having to make lengthy jumps at a great distance while dashing down inclines and I could just not internalize how to make those jumps consistently at all. Add in how massive the room was with no checkpoints and I had to throw in the towel before finishing said demo.
Still it at the least is a very interesting take on the idea of Metroid, maybe it can be tweaked a bit before final release to work a bit better (a bit more checkpoints would probably be enough for me) but even if not and it ends up being a bit too much for most people it seems like something worth at least being aware of its existence of.
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I hate grades in games too leave me alone stop spiking my anxiety stop making me feel like I’m gonna get grounded if I get a B
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I think grading is for score attack enthusiasts who dont want to recall or share a long number.
If Im just trying to play a games once and its giving me Cs that kinda sucks.
Would be preferable to me if games based on runs or repeatable stages gave you ranks based on a bunch of possible actions. But it should be a like best so far or in relation to a tester set par.
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Played 7 Days to End with You until I felt mostly satisfied with my level of understanding. It’s a language inference game like Heaven’s Vault, but much shorter and cozier. It has text boxes where you can type whatever you want to put labels above words, and no 100% reliable way to verify many of them.
Afterwards, it was interesting to check out the wildly divergent languages and notation styles on the public Steam screenshots:
My own notation looked like this:
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Gonna try and be brief with NEXTFEST IMPRESSIONS:
Replaced: Welcome back to the gritty Apocalyptic 1980s with the greatest pixel art you’ve ever seen. We made Limbo with talking and Arkham Aslyum combat.
BomBun: fixed camera 3D Platformer that just does not have the sauce. It almost does, but it needs…more or less.
Rolling Rascal: the people that master Sonic 2006 have made a video game.
Clockwork Ambrosia: I alt-f4ed as soon as I collected a textile and map blueprint in this 2D action game.
Go Go Mister Chickuns: single screen platformer that has the sauce. Get all your wonky physic’d eggs in the nest. I liked it! It didn’t talk or explain anything to me!
Wild Blue Skies: finally someone has made a furry Star Fox 64-like. Ex-Zodiac also exists and is very good. Both can exist, I guess!
Forehead Chip: Impossibly bad name. Welcome back to the dystopian 1980s where you are a cop and have to capture drug dealers and their junkies. You can win almost, almost, infinite good will from me for X-Wing style menus. The game was also technically good until I immediately got an upgrade that negated the fact I only had 3 bullets and needed to keep collecting them. Also you are a cop shooting poor people, wow commentary. Synthwave. How have we been dealing with Robocop/Blade Runner aesthetic for 11 years. Can that please play out.
Panzer Dragoon Zwei Remake: I was really expecting worse based off the internet’s reaction. It is okay. Go play the original.
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Can’t stop thinking about this
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was going to quit Star Fox Adventures but scrolled to a random bit in the guide and…
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this is either a literal torture sequence I don’t remember/that one button-mashing mini-game that is indeed torture…my thumb still hadn’t recovered from the PTSD of the second Canary Mary race in Banjo-Tooie when I got to SFA. Rareware were such bastards lol
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i joked that, internally they wouldn’t let a game ship unless it made a child cry from frustration, but I think every level has something that would make a child cry
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yeah when cania made me watch her play dk64 i just kept saying ‘rare hates children’ ‘rare wants to make children suffer’
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i got stuck at a part where there’s a door, there’s two colored orbs, there’s two fires that change color. So you’re supposed to hit the orbs when the color matches right? Well you’re supposed to shoot through the fire when it changes the right color and hit the orb. I had to watch a playthrough video of it, and even then the person recording the sequence gets stuck and there’s a cut to when they put the game down and look up the instructions.
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I remember getting DK64 when I turned 9, and that was suffering for the whole family :]
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