I wanted to write something about The Lost Cave of the Ozarks but I’m trying to figure out how as… it is a 5+ year old game with 2 Steam reviews and I generally prefer to not mention those type games when they aren’t good rather than say mean things about them but this is such an odd mix of mostly bad ideas that I feel like I need to at least acknowledge it?
It is a puzzle platformer with a papercut look that scans to me as inspired by Braid, I’m a low voter on that aesthetic and the animations bug out all the time (particularly any time a cutscene occurs) but it done fairly well given the budget. It is a puzzle platformer with a somewhat severe stamina system (often visualized by how bright the lantern you are carrying is burning, legit solid idea but wish it was easier to make out). The issue is that it is basically only in there for two chase sequences, the rest of the time it just exists to slow you down for no real reason. The dash button is the same as the pull yourself up a ledge button (which is done a lot) and it drains your stamina even if you just hold the button during the animation. Your guy stops to catch his breath a ton.
One of those chase sequences more or less starts the game as it is early in the brief tutorial. Said tutorial is the most demanding mechanical stretch in the game not even accounting for the whole learning controls/stamina deal.
Breaking up the game, which takes place in a cave your player character fell down some time in the past, are bits where you play as a tour guide walking through said caves in the present time. He walks slowly, talks a ton (often standing still to do so), the mechanical bit is that sometimes he sorta dances a jig which means you can shine your flashlight on something and he’ll talk even more about it. These all move so slowly and go on for so long, the notion of what seems perhaps supernatural back then looks more benign now and which is more accurate is a fair one but they feel like poorly executed several minutes long cutscenes in a couple hours long game about a story that only kinda comes together into anything at the very end.
Oh yeah, the puzzles and level design and bosses are all… well either ignorant of best practices or with severe execution issues. I saw pushable blocks that start in the right location but let you slowly push them across the room for no reason/as a red herring (pushing costs stamina as well). One bit seemed like a maze that made me think “well it is fairly straightforward, perhaps I’ll have to run back and just make sure not to make a wrong turn” but no, it and its various blocks were just there as is. A late boss you have to swing your lantern at to make them recoil back slowly into a trap, but you can do so from two platforms up above them facing the wrong direction and still have them react. I had to look up the solution to the final puzzle, thank goodness for the single person who recorded a LP of it.
I checked afterwards and the guy who made it is mostly an artist by trade, and that tracks. I would describe it as a game made by someone inspired by Braid but without the game design knowledge or ability to realize what they visualized in their mind or recognize if it was sound… but even though it is bad (and it is rather bad) I’m at least glad it was bad on its own terms. They took a swing at something and they failed, but it was an honest attempt and bad ideas are at least still ideas?
Don’t play it, maybe look at a screenshot if you must as those are fine (went to possibly grab one off Steam and the screenshots are in chronological order with the final one literally being the game’s final screen), just had to write something to get it out of my head.
