Die a Weird Death: Mothra Plays The X-Com Files

With Red Dawn and Black Lotus absorbed into our “family of friends”, we’ve been reasonably confident X-Com stands as the biggest fish in the pond. The Council, for some frustrating reason, will neither confirm nor deny this. They’re fully willing to fill us in on cults, cryptids, terrorist cells, and any small group that might threaten the stability of their region, but for anything at our level or bigger, we get crickets.

The Russian bloc council member contracts X-Com to retrieve a fugitive, “David Vincent” before somebody else does. We take it as a promising sign that we’ve become the best option they have this side of the hemisphere.

Dossier on David Vincent

Okay so, dossiers are like, these odd “guest characters” I guess that are in the game, and can be apprehended or rescued. Doesn’t tend to do much, but, sometimes you get stuff. I got a ninja scroll once that helped the martial arts training.

They’re all random characters from movies/shows/games that the mod creators liked.

We take the job. Can’t hurt to get in closer with the highest seat of power in our world.

Men in Black

The mission docket is light on details but identifies the “Men in Black” as the aggressor. Usually that means “G men”, but the Council ARE the G men, so, ┐('~`; )┌

Vincent’s holed up in a dinky little safe house in the Denezhkin Kamen Nature Reserve. Tacotaskforce, Cania, GherkinForce, and Tegiminis put down nearby with the Vulture and key into the panic room.

Vincent frantically stuffs a packet of files into Cania’s hands, making them promise to get the information to the world, no matter what. Cania’s at a loss for what to say.

Tacotaskforce spots lights in the south-side treeline. The gang takes up positions at the windows.

Through the fog, squad of exosuit-clad stormtroopers marches out from the woods and starts licking shots at the house. Laser weapons of some kind that punch through walls like butter.

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MiB Executors

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Executors can be ranked as junior officers, but they report to the highest echelons of the Men in Black - or perhaps their employers. They lead small teams of MiB agents in operations against humanity and also possess rare skills. Their bodies are visibly augmented with cybernetics and drugs.

They’re supported by be-sunglassed G-men with real basic-bitch pistols:

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MiB Agents

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These individuals may seem average at first, but they are trained and equipped to the highest level possible, and beyond. They are also programmed for maximum efficiency, tenacity and ruthlessness. Do not expect them to break in combat.

MiB Agents seem to regularly undergo some sort of memory wipe or blockade that is very hard to break through, so extracting specific information from them is highly problematic.

We drop the suits pretty easily with our new UAC rifles. These things are accurate and pack a punch… definitely been worth the money.

UAC Rifle

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The UAC Rifle fires three bullets in a rapid succession, allowing for a high level of fire control. Like all UAC equipment, it can work in outer space.

They don’t do jack shit against the power armor, though.

The group retreats into the building and waits for the first of the heavy troopers to lumber through. Tegiminis and GherkinForce jump them with shock sticks until they drop. Gherkin grabs the weapon.

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Oh shit yeah.

This thing puts holes through the exo-suits real nice. The gang repeats the monster closet strat until everyone’s decked out with these heavy lasers. The rest is just a matter of time, patience, and aimed shots.

We take absolutely every remaining scrap of these narcs with us on the Vulture, and deliver Vincent to the Council.

Cania keeps the packet stuffed in their shirt. No reason the Council needs to know about that little detail.

The techs at the Shatterdome go about pulling the corpses out of the armor and repurposing them for X-Com use.

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We get a good 6 sets out of the corpses we recovered.

Cania pours over the packet, not sure what on Earth to make of it.

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Good to know my tendency towards secrecy is well represented

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wowwwwwwwww this thread rules

if you have an opening… my body is willing

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New recruit:

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(Currently just have X-Rat slots open sry)

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Would like Felix rat to be in my squad if I’m still around, and that’s reasonable to do.

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A fitting fate.

Been seeing a concerning uptick in UFO activity across the continent. Better, stronger, faster types of craft buzzing over our airspace like they own the place.

These little dinky tin cans are cake; can’t take more than a single archer missile to asplode.

UFO_Dinky

As are these odd little “light fighter” pods. These tend to escort medium-to-large sized craft, harassing interceptors that enter their range. If you take enough hits, they can successfully turn your craft around.

They’re actually manned, turns out, just one sectoid stuffed into humiliating lil’ cuck pod by rowdy jocular mutons one must assume.

We have Wisely in the Mig and Mr_Mechanical in Mutavore, running around the clock to splash ETs. Some engagements are abandoned altogether when the dogfight gets hairy - we’re pretty outmatched with some of these new variants.

Mig_01

While the Mig’s getting fixed up, we pour our research into a slightly better interceptor craft.

With the Red Forest, Dantero Bay, and the Shatterdome all coordinating on the same project, we’re able to fast-track this pretty well. We push past Interceptor and go one better.

Being russians, we of course go with a swept-wing like our boi the SU-47:

Far better than the Mig, faster than the Mutavore. Can’t take the hits too well, but it doesn’t get hit as much, so, s’fine. We offload the latest crop of alien corpses, The Things, ectoplasmii, and good ol’ fashioned briefcases of civil forfeitureded cash on the grey market to outfit our new fighter, dubbed the “R-Type”. UAC gives us a reasonable deal on two “mass driver cannons” and we’re able to work something out with the Council for a second-hand “auxiliary thruster” mod.

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Ain’t bad at all.

Another set of contacts off the coast of Hong Kong.

Wisely takes the R-Type up, carves through the two light escorts like butter.

He lines up the medium-size UFO booking it for western China.

Sentry-class

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This small UFO is tasked with observation and patrol duties. It is armed for war and will provide some challenge to our interceptors.

A few flashes from the craft as it lobs heavy plasma back at the R-Type. One whiffs, one hits.

Wisely closes the gap and opens up on the underbelly. ET drops just outside of Chengdu.

It’s a pretty brutal crash through a heavily-forested area, chunks of the hull and several mangled alien corpses littering the charred path it took skidding to a halt.

With the main assault group still mostly in the medbay healing from that shitshow with the MiB, we’re low on able-bodied men and women to throw into the fire here.

Wisely circles over the crash site, shifts it into VTOL mode, and makes a landing.

Going this one solo.

World War Wisely

The landing zone is hot. Hot as in, “the forest is actively on fire.”

We didn’t really think to outfit the R-Type with much weaponry, so, he’s got no flashlight, minimal armor, no firearm, and only a “power mace” to work with.

This is something we pulled from the wreckage of a downed UFO pretty recently and aren’t close to being able to manufacture. It seems to be an advanced form of X-Com’s load-bearing “Iron Pipe” technology.

Power Mace

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Using Elerium-115 as fuel, this power weapon discharges a powerful electrical pulse to its unfortunate victim. A successful strike will overload the nervous system of the target, effectively incapacitating it. The Power Mace will stun organic beings.

The boys in the lab assure me it is v. painful (to farmers).

Wisely goes into a dead run from the R-Type to the hull of the UFO, barely dodging hot ballz of plasma from the dark. He lights up the stick and waits as I mash ‘next turn’ twelve times.

Soon enough, a 'toid ambles over to inspect what it assumes is a smoldering corpse. Wisely cracks it over the head and roots through its multitude of bizarre alien gizmos.

Oh yes.

Alien Laser Cannon

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A powerful, fast-firing laser weapon, used by the aliens mostly for assaults.

He hugs the wall and moves around the perimeter of the ship. Might be good on the outside.

HOOO that was close.

An auto-shot of plasma melts the walls, setting fire to the ground around Wisely. He pulls back and takes a few deep breaths.

Little fucker…

IT’S GOT A KICK

The E.T. is fully incinerated by this ridiculous space gun. Nothing left but a pile of goo and one of whatever the hell this is:

Alien Multitool

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This device can interact with various alien systems to calibrate or reprogram them. It converts mental input from the user to a complex matrix of fields, affecting the system on all levels - from controlling power flows to editing individual bytes of information. It is powered with a small Elerium battery.

He tosses it in the cockpit of the R-Type, slings the laser cannon over his shoulder, and takes the power mace out of his backpack.

Time to finish this fight like Wisely’s hero John Halo did in Halo III when he defeated Halo once and for all and killed him.

He busts in.

Ship is pitch black. Elerium reactor at the heart is barely running, the aft of the ship has two big ol’ holes from the mass driver rounds.

Wisely lights up the mace.

WELCOME TO EARTH

UFO_09

Hope you don’t mind ridin’ bitch back home.

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Back at the Red Forest, Meauxdal gets to work interrogating the “navigator.”

It has no name, none of them do. It doesn’t so much crack as wither.

Never really doubt what these things tell us is the truth. They can’t or won’t lie, for whatever reason.

Within the week, it’s all but dead. It needs something to live we can’t feed it.

It says very plainly and numbly that there will be consequences.

I pull open the Kiryu-Kai file again.

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NO COMMENTS you guys are killing me here

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i have this thread on WATCHING so I can read these as soon as you post them, if that makes you feel any better. I also read the previous one with the hotline miami music and it was very effective

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while it is clear this mod has Too Much Content, it does solve the problem that I’ve had with all the x-com games I’ve played: that they get to The Good Part too quickly. I always want to set up the EDF like the ghostbusters; couple of dudes in a van chasing down radio signals and build up over every mission into eventually becoming G.I.Joes. I want more context for the growth curve.

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Oh absolutely. It’s criminal how little time you spend with shitty 90’s weaponry and technology in the X-Com series. That narrow window tends to be the most fun stuff.

I’d love any excuse to actually use incendiaries, shaped charges, or smoke grenades in the original, but nah, by the time you get them, you’ve already got laser weapons.

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my comment is i read every update with bated breath

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same, i really enjoy this thread and not just because wisely remains an absolute menace to all extraterrestrial life, as he should be

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Yes your thread is loved and deeply appreciated. I am often left speech(text?)less after reading another saga. Please keep on keeping on!

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I frequently choose reading these posts for twenty minutes over getting another twenty minutes of sleep, and unlike pretty much every other thing I choose over more sleep, this one I don’t regret.

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(Been real busy with work junk… going to try to get another post out this week)

Solo missions continue while the team is healing up.

The crew at the Shatterdome has successfully jury-rigged K.M.'s AI core into the Mig.

Gits_Core

Status_Green

We can now rack up some experience for our lil’ door-buster while we keep this UFO infestation in check.

With the Red Forest sicks bay still spilling out into the halls with the wounded, Boojiboy Mark III (henceforth BoojIII) is handed his release papers, handed an alien laser rifle, and pointed to the Mig. K.M. takes the wheel, The Booj gets cozy in the seat.

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First target out of the gate doesn’t put up as much of a fight as other medium-class UFOs. Pretty weak weaponry, a lot of misses. K.M. scores a clean hit with well-placed bisnovat and it goes down near Nantes.

He oggers in the Mig.

Black Site

BoojIII picks off a few dazed sectoids outside the UFO and moves in.

Doesn’t seem too bad! Just a lil’ guy…

Ah.

Absolutely never seen a ship like this before. God know’s what it’s for.

The Boojster busts in the door. A little back-and-forth skirmish with some kind of insane bug-monster with a metallic corkscrew body.

Waspite_Field

They’re lightly-armed with pistols, but pretty hardy, at least compared to the handful of 'toids still running about.

BoojIII plinks one in the compound eye. A spurt of thick yellow goo paints the bulkhead.

Waspite_Field_Dead

He steps into the weird, pulsing red field, and is gently carried up to the next floor.

Fugging… not a single staircase on this ship. They’re really betting the barn on the power never, ever going down.

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Then again, I guess stairs ain’t for everyone.

The second floor is uncharacteristically open for a UFO. A sectoid holding some kind of multitool startles at the sudden appearance of an intruder and tries to flee. BoojIII plugs it in the back.

He continues to move through the ship, killing whatever he encounters. Very light resistance, a lot of screaming and chittering.

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The west and east wings are packed with samples of plants, animals, machines…

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One of the giant spiders we’ve been running into here and there…

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There is a slowly-pulsating mass of organs in one of them…

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…And there are people, some opened, some not. All look like they did not die pleasantly.

UFO_05a

Oh fuck WE GOT COWS HERE

There are not one but TWO stations devoted exclusively to dissecting cattle. I have to imagine they are just that baffled there’s one of these surreal bipedal oafs for every four people on the planet.

Back home, Meaudal busts out the lobster crackers and digs in.

We run through the samples and the biotech, getting a little more insight into what kind of “medical” technology the aliens are interested in.

Pretty clear by now the intended purpose of this ship:

Lab Ship

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Lab Ships are large vessels, tasked with major research and harvest operations. Much bigger than Harvesters, they are equipped for conducting complex experiments on board. Their crew is numerous and rather well equipped.

Some sort of mobile black site, processing whatever they can scoop up.

We schlep the waspite bodies into the corpse freezer and tag them for the grey market, shaking our heads at how barbaric our foes are to run such a ungodly torture gulag. Truly, monsters, the lot of em.

Within the week, we have heinously rich buyers looking to eat the waspite eyes to gain their alien magicks. We happily sell off the lot and funnel the money into much-needed feed for the mutant rat farm.

The ol’ 9 to 5…

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I am really digging how the emerging narrative here is kind of like if there was a Men In Black procedural TV show created by Paul Verhoeven

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Is this still BoojII or have we moved to higher numbers of Booj?

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gotta be at booji boy 5 or 6 by now right

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This is BoojIII actually and thank you for reminding me because canonically The Booj Series™ uses roman numerals slammed into their callsigns. I’ve edited the post to better reflect this legacy.

(BoojII was devoured whole by a Reaper during an otherwise unremarkable mission a little while back)

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