Cursing your brood with Zelda lore (gamer parent thread)

Oh that rules. I’m adding it to the wishlist

My kid did have a lot of trouble with Lego Voyagers earlier this year and this looks similarly challenging, so I’ll save it for later

We did manage to beat 2-player Seaside Drive from notoriously difficult game collection UFO 50. (Extremely recommended if you don’t mind violence / ghosts) 2D games are just that much easier to apprehend than 3D games for kids

7 Likes

Super Mario 3D world (co-op)

Mario 3d world is great, and it is well suited for Co-op w/ kids: it’s light on platforming challenges, the areas are comfortably large, the adult can just carry the kid anytime, if a kid lags too far behind they get right back to the action in a magical bubble, and they can also immediately come back after losing a life.

The adult is having a good time because they’re playing regular Mario (I’m assuming they’re enjoying this), the kid is having a good time because they’re playing Mario but with no consequences for playing badly.

Now there are three issues with co-op with kids in Mario 3d world :

The game uses lives. A 6 year old kid burns through approx. 1 life per 30 seconds on average. There are not enough coins to make up for this. This is not sustainable.

You Have To immediately use the one weird trick in 1-2 to get to the maximum number of lives in 2 minutes :

Second issue is the timer. Every level has a timer and everybody dies when the timer runs out. This is uh, cruel punishment for a 6 year old kids learning how to Mario. Though after a while my kid became used to the pace and this stopped being an issue.

The third and far biggest issue is the score system. In every level, each player gets individual score by collecting stars, coins, etc, and the player with the biggest score at the end gets a shiny crown to wear in the next level.

The crown is cool. It is ugly and does nothing but everybody wants it. Unfortunately, the adult will get 10x-100x more score than the kid every level, and receive the crown every time. The kid just never gets the crown. What was meant as a fun friendly competition turns into a humiliation ritual at the end of every level, when the adult gets a crown and the kid gets nothing, every single time. Plus there’s an extra fucking score tally and everything.

The game is building suspense like « Who’s going to get the crown this time?? » and it’s always the adult.

I have only found three ways to tackle this issue :

  • « Don’t worry about it! Who wears the crown doesn’t matter at all! And with time, you’ll improve and maybe someday win the crown, once! »
  • « What? We’re playing videogames, yet you’re still complaining? »
  • Debase yourself and carry you kid around so they get all the points and the crown

I have done all 3 options. All 3 options suck. The kid just has to handle the frustration IMO. No way around that

Anyway, we played almost the whole game, beat the final boss. In the postgame, my kid just died too much, like -1 life every 5 seconds, it wasn’t worth it

Rating (parent) : 5/5

Estimated rating (kid) : 4/5

Possible interactions with a kid other than choosing where to go : they’re actually playing the game

Edutainment rating : 2/5. For learning how to handle frustration

Final rating : A+

10 Likes

I would have expected this, but it’s the other way around for my kid. He cannot do/has zero interest in 2D. Also hates getting the crown in SMB 3D World :man_shrugging:.

He’s been aimlessly enjoying Yonder lately. It’s a no-combat exploration game with some questing, crafting, and farming. Higher goal is to clear miasma from parts of the environment. Very pleasant. Has one of the best-looking night skyboxes I’ve seen. Some aspects feel a little half baked: you can’t enter any buildings, and tending to farms seems pretty hands off.

5 Likes