Cartoons (Part 1)

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I think Beowulf is genius personally. Its plasticky fakeness is actually the point.

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How so?

i saw beowulf in the cinema (because for some reason i used to pay money to see movies that my friends chose, despite the friends i had at that time always picking absolute garbage), and the only thing i remember about it is “oi’m 'ere ta kill yor monstah, mary poppins!”

MORE GODDAMN ANIMATED HOT TAKES STEWING IN MY BRAINS

Into the Spider-verse (but in 3D this time) - okay, seeing it again in 3D not only reaffirms the belief that it’s the best comic book movie of the year and maybe the best animated film of the year, but also they managed to nail that sleek, layered diorama look I’ve been pleading for in 3D movies effortlessly

That Aggretsuko Christmas Special - this feels less like a standalone special than a delayed epilogue to the first season or an early prologue to the second but also watching Retsuko fall into the social media vortex is hilarious

Ralph Breaks the Internet - hey friends, do you like brands? then you would love a movie where an ebay payment reminder is the ticking clock through most of the plot and Vanellope visits Disney’s web portal (though, honestly, the scene with the Princesses is one of the funniest things I’e seen all year, mostly because the writers and directors recognize that visual references to 60s Batman are my weakness). also the plot is kind of all over the place and not really focused? it’s good but definitely weaker than the original and also BRANDS. mostly I’m disappointed that a movie about the internet and also featuring Sonic the Hedgehog has no fan art jokes.

you should see it before Disney gets sued into oblivion because of the part where Ralph does Fortnite dances for 3 seconds

Transformers The Movie - okay, I’ve actually seen this a few times before and also this was a couple of months ago but it was fun seeing this in a theater with a crowd because we’re all terrible nerds and cheered when Spike said The Word. otherwise this is terrible toy commercial with a disjointed plot that barely works and is a much better extended music video movie in the vein of Moonwalker than a sprawling space opera

have I talked about how damn good the soundtrack is

Hotel Transylvania 3 - okay I’m late on this one too because I saw it on a whim in theaters over the summer having not seen either of the first two and I don’t know if I could see either of them now knowing that Genndy wrote and storyboarded this one on top of directing once again because this movie fucking pops with some serious kineticism owing to someone who fucking gets animation, regardless of how its done. it’s readily telling that the film knows when to have smooth motion, making every frame melt into the other to promote an ominous atmosphere and then go back to strong, snappy key poses and frames and look effortlessly like it could have been made 60 or 70 years earlier

Genndy is a mad genius and I hope Sony goes back and resurrects that Popeye movie

Smallfoot - I don’t know why I saw this but I did. it was okay besides the part where it’s a musical. also technically a Sony Pictures Animation joint like Hotel and Spiderman, except for the part where Warner Bros. paid them to do it (I am excessively weirded out by the idea of WB having to outsource theatrical animation but it’s 2018). I mean, it’s not, WB people directed and boarded it but SPA did the grunt work and that counts for something, right

NouCome (fuck you I’m not typing out the whole title of this) - this show is fucking garbage ass offensive shit nonsense and I love it because I am a trash person and it makes me laugh

there’s probably more stuff I’m forgetting and I’m sure it’ll spring forth but thinking any more on cartoons will hurt myself

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Beowulf is a story told by somebody?? about a line of Danish kings who-- oh but Beowulf isn’t Danish, he just pops up and is like “yo I’m a hero and I’m here to solve your problem.”

In other words it’s a story about a man who it’s not about told as hearsay. The movie completely changes the plot and why not? It adds a bunch of sympathy for the monsters which isn’t really the original, spends way more time around Beowulf’s time as king including a big subplot involving his wife and concubine which isn’t even hinted at in the original, and has an extended “how can we hilariously hide Beowulf’s dick” sequence. It also takes advantage of the fact that it’s fully CGI to do impossible cinematography that is pretty interesting.

It’s all very gloomy and doomed, about how we can’t escape consequences for our past. It feels like Beowulf.

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you’re dead to me

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I can’t seem to find the general questions thread, so I’m going to put this here:

Is Sailor Moon on DVD still a good gift idea for young girls (aged 5 - 7) these days? I have two nieces, the elder of the two really loves her Japanese classes but I kind of doubt she will recognise anime as being a Japanese thing.

I am also not sure whether a 90s anime would have enough constant excitement and visual interest to keep them engaged, what with all the wizzbang CGI they are used to these days.

The Beowulf movie is hilarious and worth watching at least once just for that.

I have no idea if the original Beowulf is hilarious, I sure do hope so.

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Is Sailor Moon on DVD still a good gift idea

No.

The Beowulf Respecter has logged on

You can get a bluray dvd combo pack nowadays

the Movie Adaptation That Is Trash (But Not In The Good Way) And Only Does The Most Obvious Shit (Because Gaiman Wrote It) Disliker has logged on

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I had no idea who wrote it. Truly your literary grudges know no boundary or form

Look, if it’s not obvious I’m not into it

pretty sure you should be less concerned with Sailor Moon as a thing that can garner attention and more with any content issues that might arise. the movies are pretty safe but the show itself could be hit and miss depending on the parents and what the kids can handle

Aren’t most of the DVD releases based on the edited / sanitised for US audiences version?

Maybe I will just be a lazy uncle and give them cash

the original US broadcast edit(s) is long since buried and the current releases are all unedited along with a brand new dub

again, the movies should be pretty safe

I mean, you could be a cool uncle and track down the out-of-print edited releases but those are either going to be impossible to find or hilariously expensive because ???

Give them the uncut gay Sailor Moon (or whatever)

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i’m so mad this is a public thread but pretend i made a ribald reply

Sorry about that :confused:

I think I am less concerned about how gay it is and more concerned about whether they will open the present, look at it for a second and then toss it onto the massive pile of toys never to be seen again (like most of the other stuff I have given them)