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Select Button http://selectbutton.net/ en Sword of Vermillion Does Not Make Sense http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14593 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14593 Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:49 am spinach http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14593 Okay, so this thing, this vidcon, an early Genesis title, it came out of Sega AM2 and the Internet says Yu Suzuki is the designer. This vidcon, this thing, it does not fit with anything Suzuki has done before or since. It's a straight-up RPG sharing traits with Phantasy Star I, only its setting is medeival fantasy and the battle system is realtime. I suppose it shares more with western RPGs of the day. I've never played very much of it - it's not a friendly game, it's mostly bland, and it lacks the charm of its contemporaries - so I might've just not gotten to the part where that AM2 magic really kicks in. It does do some interesting things, though. The music, though mostly not my bag, does some incredible things with the Genesis sound chip, especially considering how early it was ('89). It's a very brown game, but at times it is quite technically impressive - especially the first-person segments. Some of the bosses are pretty cool for early Genesis. The thing that doesn't make sense is, aside from the technical muscle, this game has no evidence of being AM2 work. If someone could help me shed some light on that, it'll be much appreciated. And now, a video from the Music of Videogames series on youtube, demonstrating Hiroshi Kawaguchi's somewhat odd score: It's a gameplay video, but the soundtrack has been replaced with a sampling of the game's entire musical score. At 6:10 you'll get a good look at the game's first-person mode, with a handy overworld map in the corner. Within twenty seconds of that, you'll see the clumsy battle system and the first dungeon. Boss battles are fought from a side-on view rather than the top-down of regular battles, and you're a bit more articulated, if memory serves. This isn't a great game, so if you're curious about it, do keep that in mind. But you might have better luck than I at making sense of where it fits.
It does do some interesting things, though. The music, though mostly not my bag, does some incredible things with the Genesis sound chip, especially considering how early it was ('89). It's a very brown game, but at times it is quite technically impressive - especially the first-person segments. Some of the bosses are pretty cool for early Genesis.

The thing that doesn't make sense is, aside from the technical muscle, this game has no evidence of being AM2 work. If someone could help me shed some light on that, it'll be much appreciated.

And now, a video from the Music of Videogames series on youtube, demonstrating Hiroshi Kawaguchi's somewhat odd score:

It's a gameplay video, but the soundtrack has been replaced with a sampling of the game's entire musical score. At 6:10 you'll get a good look at the game's first-person mode, with a handy overworld map in the corner. Within twenty seconds of that, you'll see the clumsy battle system and the first dungeon.

Boss battles are fought from a side-on view rather than the top-down of regular battles, and you're a bit more articulated, if memory serves.

This isn't a great game, so if you're curious about it, do keep that in mind. But you might have better luck than I at making sense of where it fits. ]]> quoting family friendly gaming thread http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14455 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14455 Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:02 pm Dark Age Iron Savior http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14455 "There are some moral and ethical issues with MMBN5. Lan lies to his mother in order to do what he feels is right. The souls of the different Navis commune with one another to create a more powerful being. Lan and Megaman are quick to use violence, and revenge in order to get the way they feel is right. It is a shame that Capcom went away from good lessons in the first three MMBN games, in order to draw the series down. No occult though." "The digimon are all digital so why evolution is used instead of upgrades makes no sense to the WMG. There is a lot of helping others and stopping evil in Digimon World Dusk. Many of the Family Friendly Gaming readers are going to find a problem with the theory of evolution being proselytized. Another issue is the usage of monsters to fight for the player. The WMG was surprised to see exactly how hideous many of the monsters are in this game. Friendship with things that look dark, and use dark powers bothers this reviewer on so many levels. - Working Man Gamer" "Protecting babies from the dangers of the world is a wonderful lesson to teach. I do wish the game would have come down hard on baby Wario’s greed. Yoshi’s Island DS also teaches going to extraordinary measures to save someone in danger. The violence is cartoonish, but the eating of enemies and turning them into eggs has always been a bit unsettling to me. - Paul" "The prices used in Theme Park are not realistic. At least I hope fifty-five dollars for a hamburger is not realistic. One of the assistant’s is dressed in a way to entice to lust. Thankfully she has few, and poor details. I really like how Theme Park allows the player to create, and build. This concept of create instead of destroy is one I really like to see in video games. Ultimately Theme Park is a video game that is a little above average, but targeted for a small audience. One of EA’s better sim games, but they still need to do some more work. - Paul" "This game can be taken a couple of different ways. God created men as the head of the household, and some will be bothered by a female character rescuing male characters. Others will be happy that girls (and women) have a respectable character to look up to in video games. Princess Peach jumps on the different cartoon characters, or swats them away with her umbrella. This umbrella used to be a boy, but was cursed. This reviewer did not feel threatened in his manhood to play a character dressed in a pink dress, but is aware that there are those it would bother. If some of the mentioned things bothered you, then by all means pass. Ultimately it is this reviewers opinion that this game is more suited for women, than it is for boys, or men. - Paul" "The really cool thing about Superman is he is there to save people in need. In fact a lot of similarities can be made between Superman and Jesus Christ. Unfortunately in Superman Returns the movie writers took Superman down some really dark paths. The WMG really looked forward to this game, but the reality is a major disappointment. Thankfully Electronic Arts kept the violence to a minimum. Especially considering how boring violence is in video games to the WMG, and us at Family Friendly Gaming. - Working Man Gamer" "It is nice that Scooby Doo disproves people pretending to be ghosts. There is real spiritual warfare that goes on in our world, and demonic forces that are allowed to cause problems. Scooby Doo’s methods do not work in our world, so please remember this game is cartoon fantasy only. - Paul" "The problem for Puyo Pop Fever is the story line can not be ignored. There are too many anti-Biblical attitudes being taught us inside our entertainments. The entertainment industry is trying slowly mold our minds in the conformity of the standards of the world. To some the cartoonish style witches, cartoonish horror monsters, and occultic themes are no big deal. To this reviewer it is a big deal. God has given us explicit instructions on keeping ourselves pure. If we are just like the world, then the world has no need to listen to us about Jesus Christ. It is a major disappointment to me that a game gets an ‘E’ rating from the ESRB that contains so much content that many will find as offensive. Teaching little children about witchcraft is paramount to indoctrination. - Paul" "The religion of evolution is present in this game, but plays a minor role compared to other Pokémon video games. We know how troubling that teaching is to thousands of our readers, and are very careful with games like this one. The game can be played, and beaten without that even coming up (editor: seems to have been toned down). There is cartoon violence of these little critters. The main theme of helping out others is very nice to see. - RPG Master" "The main lesson in this game is to get them before they get you. Do not expect to hear any of the characters embracing the teaching of turning the other cheek. There is a gem in Naruto Ninja Destiny as a character vows to work hard, and protect his friends. - Working Man Gamer" " It is good that the three children want to do something about evil. Sadly, the lesson they teach other kids is you can do it yourself without parents or God. Demons are very real, and the Holy Bible teaches the proper way to deal with them. A water gun is not something that will work. In fact in the real world, trying something like that will only get yous hurt in a bad way. But the WMG can’t be too hard on THQ, for they took the subject matter from the Hollywood movie, and made a game based on it. Still the WMG does not recommend this video game. - Working Man Gamer" "The storyline is pretty nonexistent in Metroid Prime Pinball. Wanton destruction seems to be the main goal of this game. Kill as many enemies as possible, and score as many points as possible. Nintendo needs to chalk up this game as a mistake, and not make any more sequels. - Sam" "Almost every single problem in the role playing game market today can be found in Lost Magic. The occult is to heavy in this game that it suffocates Christian gamers. Where are the RPG’s that reinforce the teachings of Jesus Christ? My fears about the Nintendo DS being used to indoctrinate into the dark arts has been fully realized. Avoid this game like the plague. - RPG Master" "The WMG is pleased to report that Custom Robo Arena has a full traditional family unit in it that eat breakfast and dinner with each other every single night. The player gets to help others, and the police. There is a character out for revenge, but it looks more like justice to the WMG. This game does have a lot of shooting in it, so please be aware of that. The WMG would like to see some sequels to this franchise. It was the WMG’s pleasure to be able to play and review this game. Nintendo did a lot of great things for the family with the release of this game. - Working Man Gamer" "This is the kind of game that more developers should be making. It is one of the more family friendly titles out there. This reviewer and his wife have been playing in the same town, and sharing the house decorations. This game promotes family time nicely. This is a game that can be recommended to a pastor. The main problem with this game is the inclusion of a fortune teller. The only other issue this reviewer has is the lack of Christian holidays, and Christian items in this game. A wonderful addition would be a church with a pastor in the town. There are items in the museum that teach the disproven theory of evolution so beware of that. The main potential problem with this kind of a game is addiction. If addiction becomes a problem, please seek help from a fellow believer and/or pastor. Animal Crossing Wild World is a great addition to the Nintendo DS library. This game comes the closest of any secular game to receiving the Family Friendly Gaming seal of approval. The political correctness, and not properly regionalizing the game for a Christian nation is what keeps this reviewer for stamping that seal of approval. Even without the Family Friendly Gaming seal of approval this is a good game. - Paul" ... that's enough for now. seriously, though, is this a parody site or just accidental internet art? Lan and Megaman are quick to use violence, and revenge in order to get the way they feel is right. It is a shame that Capcom went away from good lessons in the first three MMBN games, in order to draw the series down. No occult though."

"The digimon are all digital so why evolution is used instead of upgrades makes no sense to the WMG. There is a lot of helping others and stopping evil in Digimon World Dusk. Many of the Family Friendly Gaming readers are going to find a problem with the theory of evolution being proselytized. Another issue is the usage of monsters to fight for the player. The WMG was surprised to see exactly how hideous many of the monsters are in this game. Friendship with things that look dark, and use dark powers bothers this reviewer on so many levels.
- Working Man Gamer"

"Protecting babies from the dangers of the world is a wonderful lesson to teach. I do wish the game would have come down hard on baby Wario’s greed. Yoshi’s Island DS also teaches going to extraordinary measures to save someone in danger. The violence is cartoonish, but the eating of enemies and turning them into eggs has always been a bit unsettling to me.
- Paul"

"The prices used in Theme Park are not realistic. At least I hope fifty-five dollars for a hamburger is not realistic. One of the assistant’s is dressed in a way to entice to lust. Thankfully she has few, and poor details. I really like how Theme Park allows the player to create, and build. This concept of create instead of destroy is one I really like to see in video games. Ultimately Theme Park is a video game that is a little above average, but targeted for a small audience. One of EA’s better sim games, but they still need to do some more work.
- Paul"

"This game can be taken a couple of different ways. God created men as the head of the household, and some will be bothered by a female character rescuing male characters. Others will be happy that girls (and women) have a respectable character to look up to in video games. Princess Peach jumps on the different cartoon characters, or swats them away with her umbrella. This umbrella used to be a boy, but was cursed. This reviewer did not feel threatened in his manhood to play a character dressed in a pink dress, but is aware that there are those it would bother. If some of the mentioned things bothered you, then by all means pass. Ultimately it is this reviewers opinion that this game is more suited for women, than it is for boys, or men.
- Paul"

"The really cool thing about Superman is he is there to save people in need. In fact a lot of similarities can be made between Superman and Jesus Christ. Unfortunately in Superman Returns the movie writers took Superman down some really dark paths. The WMG really looked forward to this game, but the reality is a major disappointment. Thankfully Electronic Arts kept the violence to a minimum. Especially considering how boring violence is in video games to the WMG, and us at Family Friendly Gaming.
- Working Man Gamer"

"It is nice that Scooby Doo disproves people pretending to be ghosts. There is real spiritual warfare that goes on in our world, and demonic forces that are allowed to cause problems. Scooby Doo’s methods do not work in our world, so please remember this game is cartoon fantasy only.
- Paul"

"The problem for Puyo Pop Fever is the story line can not be ignored. There are too many anti-Biblical attitudes being taught us inside our entertainments. The entertainment industry is trying slowly mold our minds in the conformity of the standards of the world. To some the cartoonish style witches, cartoonish horror monsters, and occultic themes are no big deal. To this reviewer it is a big deal. God has given us explicit instructions on keeping ourselves pure. If we are just like the world, then the world has no need to listen to us about Jesus Christ. It is a major disappointment to me that a game gets an ‘E’ rating from the ESRB that contains so much content that many will find as offensive. Teaching little children about witchcraft is paramount to indoctrination.
- Paul"

"The religion of evolution is present in this game, but plays a minor role compared to other Pokémon video games. We know how troubling that teaching is to thousands of our readers, and are very careful with games like this one. The game can be played, and beaten without that even coming up (editor: seems to have been toned down). There is cartoon violence of these little critters. The main theme of helping out others is very nice to see. - RPG Master"

"The main lesson in this game is to get them before they get you. Do not expect to hear any of the characters embracing the teaching of turning the other cheek. There is a gem in Naruto Ninja Destiny as a character vows to work hard, and protect his friends.
- Working Man Gamer"

" It is good that the three children want to do something about evil. Sadly, the lesson they teach other kids is you can do it yourself without parents or God. Demons are very real, and the Holy Bible teaches the proper way to deal with them. A water gun is not something that will work. In fact in the real world, trying something like that will only get yous hurt in a bad way. But the WMG can’t be too hard on THQ, for they took the subject matter from the Hollywood movie, and made a game based on it. Still the WMG does not recommend this video game.
- Working Man Gamer"

"The storyline is pretty nonexistent in Metroid Prime Pinball. Wanton destruction seems to be the main goal of this game. Kill as many enemies as possible, and score as many points as possible. Nintendo needs to chalk up this game as a mistake, and not make any more sequels.
- Sam"

"Almost every single problem in the role playing game market today can be found in Lost Magic. The occult is to heavy in this game that it suffocates Christian gamers. Where are the RPG’s that reinforce the teachings of Jesus Christ? My fears about the Nintendo DS being used to indoctrinate into the dark arts has been fully realized. Avoid this game like the plague.
- RPG Master"

"The WMG is pleased to report that Custom Robo Arena has a full traditional family unit in it that eat breakfast and dinner with each other every single night. The player gets to help others, and the police. There is a character out for revenge, but it looks more like justice to the WMG. This game does have a lot of shooting in it, so please be aware of that. The WMG would like to see some sequels to this franchise. It was the WMG’s pleasure to be able to play and review this game. Nintendo did a lot of great things for the family with the release of this game.
- Working Man Gamer"

"This is the kind of game that more developers should be making. It is one of the more family friendly titles out there. This reviewer and his wife have been playing in the same town, and sharing the house decorations. This game promotes family time nicely. This is a game that can be recommended to a pastor. The main problem with this game is the inclusion of a fortune teller. The only other issue this reviewer has is the lack of Christian holidays, and Christian items in this game. A wonderful addition would be a church with a pastor in the town. There are items in the museum that teach the disproven theory of evolution so beware of that. The main potential problem with this kind of a game is addiction. If addiction becomes a problem, please seek help from a fellow believer and/or pastor.

Animal Crossing Wild World is a great addition to the Nintendo DS library. This game comes the closest of any secular game to receiving the Family Friendly Gaming seal of approval. The political correctness, and not properly regionalizing the game for a Christian nation is what keeps this reviewer for stamping that seal of approval. Even without the Family Friendly Gaming seal of approval this is a good game. - Paul"

...

that's enough for now.

seriously, though, is this a parody site or just accidental internet art? ]]> Review http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14449 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14449 Mon Jun 23, 2008 1:00 pm The Troops http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14449 It's finally here. Years after the initial mindblowing E3 trailer and delay after delay, the game we've all been waiting for has finally arrived. Millions have been wondering whether it lives up to the hype. Well, those fears can finally be put to rest. The truth is, the game exceeds every expectation, and is everything you could've wanted from a next-generation sequel to one of the longest running, most beloved franchises in all of gaming: all the missions, all the gameplay, all the story, and especially, all the answers fans have been clamoring for over the years. Granted, if you've never been a fan of the series, this installment isn't going to do much to change your mind. But diehards of this genre are going to find one of the most finely-crafted, perfectly-polished games of this generation. Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few years, you already know the story: a spin on a familiar tale that every gamer holds close to his heart. A world in peril. A damsel in distress. A hero in wait. This time, though, the series' famed protagonist will be able to enlist the help of some trusty allies. This much-publicized mechanic evolves the core gameplay that the series has been known for, and enhances the overall experience without abandoning what made the previous installments great. The allies you choose can even affect the story sequences in significant ways, including some we can't spoil here! Shortly after the game begins, though, the story falls by the wayside, leaving players to bask in the open-world sandbox gameplay of their dreams. The developer has created one of the most richly-detailed, lavishly-constructed, wholly realistic worlds in recent memory. If you can see something, you can get to it. If it looks like it can be destroyed, it can be. Running off its hyped proprietary game engine, the game delivers some of the crispest and most beautiful graphics we've seen on a console, though you'll need an HDTV to really see the difference; it's sure to make fanboys of its competitor jealous! Even more impressive is that the frame rate stays rock-solid throughout, with the exception of just a handful of areas we counted that were jampacked with enemies and explosions. When you're done with the single-player campaign, which clocks in at a somewhat-disappointing 10-to-12 hours, you can replay the game on a harder difficulty and with some unlockable costumes, or you can mix it up in online multiplayer matches -- a first for the venerable series. The game offers the usual game modes a la Deathmatch and Capture the Flag, albeit reimagined to fit the series' unique universe, though we must lament the use of friend codes, lack of voice chat, and monthly fee required to play. So far the developer has made no indication of downloadable content, but what's included in the core package exudes quality. The game's audio is a highlight. You'll burst into tears when you hear some of the series' classic tunes performed by a real orchestra. It complements the sound of the action quite well, with all the blistering car engines, gun-fire, and coin-collecting delivered in pristine Dolby Digital 5.1. The game's cast also returns to reprise their respective roles. Admittedly, there are a few rough performances, but the overall voicework is unmistakably solid. So how does one sum up one of the finest gaming experiences of all time? From the breathtaking opening cinematic to the heartpounding final boss, this game will be talked about on forums for years to come. You're not going to want to let this one out of your collection. So what are you still reading this review for? Go out and buy it right now!
Unless you've been living under a rock for the past few years, you already know the story: a spin on a familiar tale that every gamer holds close to his heart. A world in peril. A damsel in distress. A hero in wait. This time, though, the series' famed protagonist will be able to enlist the help of some trusty allies. This much-publicized mechanic evolves the core gameplay that the series has been known for, and enhances the overall experience without abandoning what made the previous installments great. The allies you choose can even affect the story sequences in significant ways, including some we can't spoil here!

Shortly after the game begins, though, the story falls by the wayside, leaving players to bask in the open-world sandbox gameplay of their dreams. The developer has created one of the most richly-detailed, lavishly-constructed, wholly realistic worlds in recent memory. If you can see something, you can get to it. If it looks like it can be destroyed, it can be. Running off its hyped proprietary game engine, the game delivers some of the crispest and most beautiful graphics we've seen on a console, though you'll need an HDTV to really see the difference; it's sure to make fanboys of its competitor jealous! Even more impressive is that the frame rate stays rock-solid throughout, with the exception of just a handful of areas we counted that were jampacked with enemies and explosions.

When you're done with the single-player campaign, which clocks in at a somewhat-disappointing 10-to-12 hours, you can replay the game on a harder difficulty and with some unlockable costumes, or you can mix it up in online multiplayer matches -- a first for the venerable series. The game offers the usual game modes a la Deathmatch and Capture the Flag, albeit reimagined to fit the series' unique universe, though we must lament the use of friend codes, lack of voice chat, and monthly fee required to play. So far the developer has made no indication of downloadable content, but what's included in the core package exudes quality.

The game's audio is a highlight. You'll burst into tears when you hear some of the series' classic tunes performed by a real orchestra. It complements the sound of the action quite well, with all the blistering car engines, gun-fire, and coin-collecting delivered in pristine Dolby Digital 5.1. The game's cast also returns to reprise their respective roles. Admittedly, there are a few rough performances, but the overall voicework is unmistakably solid.

So how does one sum up one of the finest gaming experiences of all time? From the breathtaking opening cinematic to the heartpounding final boss, this game will be talked about on forums for years to come. You're not going to want to let this one out of your collection. So what are you still reading this review for? Go out and buy it right now! ]]> Some Commodore 64 Nostalgia http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14269 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14269 Fri Jun 13, 2008 4:18 pm wourme http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14269 I don't know how many Commodore 64 enthusiasts frequent these forums, but I don't think there's been any sort of dedicated thread yet. (Not that there necessarily needs to be, but what's the Internet for if it's not for useless discussions?) First, two interesting facts: Jack Tramiel, the man who founded Commodore International, was a Polish survivor of the Auschwitz concentration camp. The name Commodore was Tramiel's third choice. He had wanted to use General, and then Admiral, but both were already taken. I admit some bias toward the Commodore 64, as it's what I grew up with and I still keep my old machine around. (It probably still works.) But I remember seeing Apple computers at school and PCs in various places and wondering why in the world people would buy these other computers, which seemed like complete garbage compared to my C64. I don't know the timeline, exactly, but I do know that years after I got my second-hand C64, people were still buying these other computers with 4-color graphics and only the most rudimentary sound. Maybe they were superior in the realm of word processing or something, I don't know. Here are a few random games that I spent a lot of time with: Bruce Lee As old as it is, I think this game is still better than most fighting games and most platformers out there on any platform. It's also proof that the use of a licensed property doesn't have to result in disaster. Remember when every game had points, whether or not it made sense? (The first Mega Man game is another good example.) Airwolf I don't mean to focus on games based on other media, but this is just the next game that comes to mind. I never really watched the show, but I found the game pretty amazing. It was extremely difficult--I came close, but I don't think I ever quite finished it. Or maybe I did. I can't remember. You can see the whole game here: Realm of Impossibility This is a pretty interesting 2-player cooperative game. You drop crosses and cast spells to slow pursuing monsters while exploring many mythological mazes, some of which are optical illusions. I always liked the way the player-controlled guys wave at you before you descend into a new dungeon. Pharaoh's Curse As frustrating as this game was for me, I always found myself loading it up again. I liked to imagine entering a hole in the ground and finding all kinds of strange colorful places. Only without all the the danger, I suppose. As irritating as the bird was, I always felt guilty shooting it and hearing it cry as it slowly fell. To be continued, maybe.
First, two interesting facts:

Jack Tramiel, the man who founded Commodore International, was a Polish survivor of the Auschwitz concentration camp.
The name Commodore was Tramiel's third choice. He had wanted to use General, and then Admiral, but both were already taken.

I admit some bias toward the Commodore 64, as it's what I grew up with and I still keep my old machine around. (It probably still works.) But I remember seeing Apple computers at school and PCs in various places and wondering why in the world people would buy these other computers, which seemed like complete garbage compared to my C64. I don't know the timeline, exactly, but I do know that years after I got my second-hand C64, people were still buying these other computers with 4-color graphics and only the most rudimentary sound. Maybe they were superior in the realm of word processing or something, I don't know.

Here are a few random games that I spent a lot of time with:

Bruce Lee

As old as it is, I think this game is still better than most fighting games and most platformers out there on any platform. It's also proof that the use of a licensed property doesn't have to result in disaster.

Remember when every game had points, whether or not it made sense? (The first Mega Man game is another good example.)

Airwolf

I don't mean to focus on games based on other media, but this is just the next game that comes to mind. I never really watched the show, but I found the game pretty amazing. It was extremely difficult--I came close, but I don't think I ever quite finished it. Or maybe I did. I can't remember.

You can see the whole game here:

Realm of Impossibility

This is a pretty interesting 2-player cooperative game. You drop crosses and cast spells to slow pursuing monsters while exploring many mythological mazes, some of which are optical illusions. I always liked the way the player-controlled guys wave at you before you descend into a new dungeon.

Pharaoh's Curse

As frustrating as this game was for me, I always found myself loading it up again. I liked to imagine entering a hole in the ground and finding all kinds of strange colorful places. Only without all the the danger, I suppose.

As irritating as the bird was, I always felt guilty shooting it and hearing it cry as it slowly fell.

To be continued, maybe. ]]> SLALOM BY RARE http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14347 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14347 Wed Jun 18, 2008 10:17 pm Cycle http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14347 SLALOM BY RARE Slalom is a skiing video game made by Rare Ltd. for the NES. It was released first in the United States in August, 1987; a European release followed on October 15, 1987. This game bears the distinction of being Rare's very first console video game (though they had created a variety of previous games for home computers such as the ZX Spectrum). Rare would go on to achieve widespread fame for the creation of the Donkey Kong Country series of games. SLALOM BY RARE Gameplay In Slalom you need to ski down different trails and beat the clock to move on to the next of the 24 trails. Other skiers, trees, snowmen, sledders, and moguls will get in your way and slow you down if you crash into them. Slalom flags are located throughout the trails, and skiing on the wrong side of these will cause your player to snowplow momentarily and lose speed, so to get the best times you need to make sure none of the flags are missed. SLALOM BY RARE Courses There are three different mountains to choose in Slalom: Snowy Hill, Steep Peak, and Mt. Nasty. Each mountain contains several courses that you must ski down while skiing through the flags. SLALOM BY RARE SLALOM BY RARE SLALOM BY RARE SLALOM BY RARE SLALOM BY RARE SLALOM BY RARE

SLALOM BY RARE

Slalom is a skiing video game made by Rare Ltd. for the NES. It was released first in the United States in August, 1987; a European release followed on October 15, 1987. This game bears the distinction of being Rare's very first console video game (though they had created a variety of previous games for home computers such as the ZX Spectrum). Rare would go on to achieve widespread fame for the creation of the Donkey Kong Country series of games.

SLALOM BY RARE

Gameplay
In Slalom you need to ski down different trails and beat the clock to move on to the next of the 24 trails. Other skiers, trees, snowmen, sledders, and moguls will get in your way and slow you down if you crash into them. Slalom flags are located throughout the trails, and skiing on the wrong side of these will cause your player to snowplow momentarily and lose speed, so to get the best times you need to make sure none of the flags are missed.

SLALOM BY RARE

Courses
There are three different mountains to choose in Slalom: Snowy Hill, Steep Peak, and Mt. Nasty. Each mountain contains several courses that you must ski down while skiing through the flags.

SLALOM BY RARE
SLALOM BY RARE
SLALOM BY RARE

SLALOM BY RARE
SLALOM BY RARE
SLALOM BY RARE

]]> SBGC #1: Phantasy Star II http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14275 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14275 Sat Jun 14, 2008 8:10 am bloody heartland http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14275 ABOUT THE GAME Phantasy Star II is a Japanese Role Playing Game (or "JRPG"!) for the Sega Mega Drive/Sega Genesis programmed in 1989. It's the second game in the trilogy "arc" titles that run through the Phantasy Star series; III is more or less a side story of dubious canonicity (and lest we forget, canon is important). The game takes place 1000 years after Phantasy Star I: the plot is kind of recapped, but if you want to find out more about Phantasy Star I, I suggest wikipedia as a source for spoilers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantasy_Star LET'S PLAY You'll need Kega Fusion if you want to emulate. I'm going to be playing a retranslation ROM, because Sega of America did an appaling job on the game. KEGA FUSION: http://www.eidolons-inn.net/tiki-index.php?page=Kega RETRANSLATION: http://dorando.emuverse.com/html/phantasy-star-2.html Post here if you're ready to start. I'm going to grind a bit now because it's a grindy game. When we have enough folks ready, we begin. ABOUT THE GAME

Phantasy Star II is a Japanese Role Playing Game (or "JRPG"!) for the Sega Mega Drive/Sega Genesis programmed in 1989. It's the second game in the trilogy "arc" titles that run through the Phantasy Star series; III is more or less a side story of dubious canonicity (and lest we forget, canon is important). The game takes place 1000 years after Phantasy Star I: the plot is kind of recapped, but if you want to find out more about Phantasy Star I, I suggest wikipedia as a source for spoilers:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantasy_Star

LET'S PLAY

You'll need Kega Fusion if you want to emulate. I'm going to be playing a retranslation ROM, because Sega of America did an appaling job on the game.

KEGA FUSION: http://www.eidolons-inn.net/tiki-index.php?page=Kega
RETRANSLATION: http://dorando.emuverse.com/html/phantasy-star-2.html

Post here if you're ready to start. I'm going to grind a bit now because it's a grindy game. When we have enough folks ready, we begin. ]]> Supaa Mario Garakishii Discussion http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14105 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14105 Thu Jun 05, 2008 1:44 am Tokyo Rude http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=14105 The title of this thread. RobotRocker wrote: I got and started Mario Galaxy today. Its really, really linear. I mean, thats not particuarly a bad thing as there is a hell of a lot of imagination put in each level, but 64 and Sunshine's world let you muck about in them and exploring before going towards your objective. With Galaxy, its like your being lead by the game to each star with a slight crossover in elements from each Galaxy. I have 25 stars, 3 observatories and I am up to the 3rd boss level in about 3-4 hours. Where it took me 5 days to hit 30 stars and the first Bowser fight in Mario 64. I will say production is fantastic though. The graphics really show what the Wii is capable of, the music is the best Nintendo has ever done and it is pretty much "Dawww! :3" the video game. If anything, its like a really interactive Childrens book that everyone can enjoy but whoever was giving it 10/10 scores really need their heads checked. Its good, but its not that good. Edit: Also, how in the bloody fucking history of man can Nintendo screw up their own perfect camera system that they invented 12 years ago, twice. Its never where you want it and its given me a few unfair deaths already. glossolalia wrote: i was elated to find that it was more linear than the other 3d marios. the exploration in mario 64 was great for the time, when simply moving around a 3d world was something of a marvel, but some parts haven't dated that well. galaxy is probably the first 3d platformer that is actually about platforming and yet also takes full advantage of its 3dness instead of being a crash bandicoot cop-out (mostly.) it doesn't have the "woah" moments of, say, finding the wing cap and metal cap stages, but it doesn't have the frustration of wandering around endlessly trying to decipher some cryptic phrase. it's a perfectly engineered sugar rush, best played a few stars at atime. and this way, the few worlds where you do have a chance to wander around feel like breathers, whereas in sunshine they all blended together into this horribly bland tropical snoozefest. i don't understand why people had such a problem with the camera. it did make things harder a few times, but i honestly never died because of it. sunshine's camera was hard to take because it was doing the same things as 64's camera but worse, but given the extreme novelty of galaxy's environments i think they did the best job they could. it's a better game than mario 64 in every way except the hub world. edit: one element that i was sad to see they took out of the demo was using the cursor to affect the environment in ways completely separate from mario. i'd like to see the sequel focus on that, and give it some narrative justification. I don't own a Wii. So my experience with this game has mostly been watching Tim play. Outside of the I think never revealed FFD, the Toy World is one of the worst things I've ever seen in a video game that has been claimed as good. The level design makes it extremely difficult to predict how gravity will work for you, causing you to plummet quite often to your death. The music is a Korean Metal Chopstick jabbing me in the ear. The objectives are not fun. They are repetitive, the only thing you can do SO DO IT shlock. There's no way you can defend the Toy World as a piece of good video game, but I'll ask you Wii-owners if there is an example of super awesome fun in the game? Can you give it to me? The other parts of the game I saw were at best, "Almost entertaining." What I've seen of this game, and the dribbling at the mouth joy it elicits from everyone makes me think all of you are fucking crazy. Please post your own renditions of the thread title. The title of this thread.

RobotRocker wrote:

I got and started Mario Galaxy today. Its really, really linear. I mean, thats not particuarly a bad thing as there is a hell of a lot of imagination put in each level, but 64 and Sunshine's world let you muck about in them and exploring before going towards your objective. With Galaxy, its like your being lead by the game to each star with a slight crossover in elements from each Galaxy. I have 25 stars, 3 observatories and I am up to the 3rd boss level in about 3-4 hours. Where it took me 5 days to hit 30 stars and the first Bowser fight in Mario 64.

I will say production is fantastic though. The graphics really show what the Wii is capable of, the music is the best Nintendo has ever done and it is pretty much "Dawww! :3" the video game. If anything, its like a really interactive Childrens book that everyone can enjoy but whoever was giving it 10/10 scores really need their heads checked. Its good, but its not that good.

Edit: Also, how in the bloody fucking history of man can Nintendo screw up their own perfect camera system that they invented 12 years ago, twice. Its never where you want it and its given me a few unfair deaths already.

glossolalia wrote:

i was elated to find that it was more linear than the other 3d marios. the exploration in mario 64 was great for the time, when simply moving around a 3d world was something of a marvel, but some parts haven't dated that well. galaxy is probably the first 3d platformer that is actually about platforming and yet also takes full advantage of its 3dness instead of being a crash bandicoot cop-out (mostly.) it doesn't have the "woah" moments of, say, finding the wing cap and metal cap stages, but it doesn't have the frustration of wandering around endlessly trying to decipher some cryptic phrase. it's a perfectly engineered sugar rush, best played a few stars at atime.

and this way, the few worlds where you do have a chance to wander around feel like breathers, whereas in sunshine they all blended together into this horribly bland tropical snoozefest.

i don't understand why people had such a problem with the camera. it did make things harder a few times, but i honestly never died because of it. sunshine's camera was hard to take because it was doing the same things as 64's camera but worse, but given the extreme novelty of galaxy's environments i think they did the best job they could.

it's a better game than mario 64 in every way except the hub world.

edit: one element that i was sad to see they took out of the demo was using the cursor to affect the environment in ways completely separate from mario. i'd like to see the sequel focus on that, and give it some narrative justification.

I don't own a Wii. So my experience with this game has mostly been watching Tim play. Outside of the I think never revealed FFD, the Toy World is one of the worst things I've ever seen in a video game that has been claimed as good. The level design makes it extremely difficult to predict how gravity will work for you, causing you to plummet quite often to your death. The music is a Korean Metal Chopstick jabbing me in the ear. The objectives are not fun. They are repetitive, the only thing you can do SO DO IT shlock.

There's no way you can defend the Toy World as a piece of good video game, but I'll ask you Wii-owners if there is an example of super awesome fun in the game? Can you give it to me? The other parts of the game I saw were at best, "Almost entertaining." What I've seen of this game, and the dribbling at the mouth joy it elicits from everyone makes me think all of you are fucking crazy.

Please post your own renditions of the thread title. ]]> GTA Online Annecdotes http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13968 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13968 Tue May 27, 2008 9:16 pm bloody heartland http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13968 Just now a mob boss tried to swim for it. He was dithering around Francis International, far out to sea, trying to make a slow, painful run to the boat. I was seperated from the rest of the cop team, whow were dithering around like they were from fucking Keystone. I did what any man could. I stole an Infernus, grabbed the combat sniper closest to hand, and burnt rubber. By the time I pulled up on the tarmac of the runway, he was a speck on the horizon, even at full zoom. Took two clips to bring him down, but bring him down I did. I was hero of the beach. Earlier, on the opposite side of the law. It was the variant where four crooks, any four crooks, need to get to the boat. Roaring down... I think hove beach, convoy, with two cars of cops wailing after us. I saw the rectangle on my monitor that indicated ROCKET LAUNCHER GOES HERE and bailed out of the back seat, crunching face first into a parked car at speed. Over the headset, the driver called me a retard. I explained I was going for the launcher. He retracted the slur. By the time I was set up to fire, the cops were almost upon us. I fired as the first car approached, at a 90 degree angle. I doubt they saw what hit them. The rocket hit squarely between the two cars, igniting both. I was immediately gunned down by eight angry men with sub-machineguns who disgorged from the doomed vehicles, but my guys made it to the dock unmolested. Sometimes you have to take one for the team.
I did what any man could. I stole an Infernus, grabbed the combat sniper closest to hand, and burnt rubber.

By the time I pulled up on the tarmac of the runway, he was a speck on the horizon, even at full zoom. Took two clips to bring him down, but bring him down I did. I was hero of the beach.

Earlier, on the opposite side of the law. It was the variant where four crooks, any four crooks, need to get to the boat. Roaring down... I think hove beach, convoy, with two cars of cops wailing after us. I saw the rectangle on my monitor that indicated ROCKET LAUNCHER GOES HERE and bailed out of the back seat, crunching face first into a parked car at speed. Over the headset, the driver called me a retard. I explained I was going for the launcher. He retracted the slur.

By the time I was set up to fire, the cops were almost upon us. I fired as the first car approached, at a 90 degree angle. I doubt they saw what hit them.

The rocket hit squarely between the two cars, igniting both. I was immediately gunned down by eight angry men with sub-machineguns who disgorged from the doomed vehicles, but my guys made it to the dock unmolested. Sometimes you have to take one for the team. ]]> Symmetrikill: A Critique of the Right Analog Stick http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13535 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13535 Sun May 04, 2008 6:26 pm The Troops http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13535 You'll have to forgive me if this is an unfashionably late entry on a subject that's been pulverized into memepulp by the Kotakusphere, but hey. Two months ago, I was fired from my job as the city council's cameraman for (in a state of momentary unconscious reflex) zooming in upon the cleavage of a board member on live television, and now become physically ill any time I attempt to move either a first- or third-person camera in a videogame. Out of morbid fear, in the past sixty days I have only played Virtual Console games and Lost Odyssey. It was two days ago that I bore witness to something of an inverted superplay video: a five year old trying to play Halo 3, and having one molten hell of a problem just looking and walking and shooting. It was so murderously clumsy and frustrating that you could probably show it to Gitmo inmates and get some real results. I tried to help him, verbally, but I didn't know where to begin. Every fucking gizmo on the controller comes in sets of twos and fours. It's not enough just to say, "Hit ____." Do I mean left __ or right ___? Blue? Green? Yellow? Let me look down. Oh, I died. After about five minutes of this torture, the level's tribal drums never even given an opportunity to break their loop, I decided then and there: The right analog stick is the worst thing to happen to videogames in the last ten years. It's true. Let me map the timeline of first- and third-person shooter controls on consoles over the course of a decade. 1997: Goldeneye is released. It is designed as a combination of Doom plus Virtua Cop. It uses an elegant single-stick design that allows even a grandmother to move and turn shoot with just one hand. As these virginal minutes wear on, you can suggest holding the shoulder button (there's only one!) to aim at specific body parts. There's a big blue button that changes your guns, and a big green one that reloads and opens doors. That's it! There's also some C-strafing and other stuff that's totally optional, but hell, you can actually explain to someone the mechanics of Goldeneye in under eight paragraphs, which is downright fucking miraculous. 1998: The Dreamcast is released, and brings with it the last elegant controller made until 2006. You can freelook in Quake III with the sole analog stick, and move on its diamond of buttons. You can shoot with one trigger and jump with another. It is here that we begin the use of analog stick as a poor man's human interface device. A clumsy, drunken surrogate mouse. But the asymmetry of looking and moving still makes it intuitive, plus, there are so few buttons on the controller that your thumbs and index fingers occupy them all at any given moment. 2000: Treasure releases Sin & Punishment, a game which finally validates that first diagram on the packaging of the N64 controller, the one where the left thumb wields that long-untouched D-pad, and the right one waggles the stick. Movement is appropriately digital, limited to strafing and jumping (forward motion is on autopilot), while the stick controls the cursor, and the trigger shoots bullets. It's hand-in-glove. You never have to move any of your thumbs away from where they belong. Everything's right there. 2001: Halo comes along. The Xbox is the first controller with both two analog sticks and two triggers, and you know what that means. Finally, we're kinda sorta replicating the PC, even though we're not quite doing it. There are a million auxiliary functions that demand you take your thumbs off where they belong, and these have been assigned to the big tasty face buttons that beg for loftier roles. So you can jump, but that means having to stop aiming for a split-second. Same for the melee, or reloading, or switching guns, or turning your flashlight on and off, or switching grenades. It's well-organized chaos, but it's still chaos. Even driving a car reinvents what has been known since Super Mario Kart. Most of the time, your fingers form a strange Square of Tendonitis, and if you take away the controller, it looks like you have muscular dystrophy. 2002: Metroid Prime comes out, and forums go aflame because it actually uses a control scheme that makes sense on the GameCube controller, instead of aping Halo's dual analog. The tiny D-pad and C-stick contain the auxilary functions -- switching visors and weapons (four of each) -- and 99% of the time, your digits are at a natural symmetrical rest upon the stick and its giant buttons. When you have to aim, you do so using the same big, white, natural stick that you use to move. Games like Rez come out, and people decry its elegance because they want to move and look independently, etc. 2004: Halo 2 comes out, and gloms even more shit onto itself. You can now dual-weild weapons, and fire with their respective triggers, etc. It is about this time that dual-analog becomes the de facto control standard, and R1 becomes the official attack button of a generation. Even third-person platformers now have guns that are fired with R1, and actually trying to jump from platform to platform in these games is more complicated than ever, requiring you to juggle your thumb between the safe, soft face buttons and the arthritic simulation of pushing a pea around a plate that is right-analog camera control. 2005: Resident Evil 4 comes out, uses the big, friendly A button to fire its gun. The craterfaced Tomonobu Itagaki fans anti-A sentiment by talking about what a travesty it is that a police officer can't aim and move at the same time. August 2007: Metroid Prime 3 comes out and solves a decade's worth of shooter control cruft, but nobody notices, because Halo 3 is less than a month away from release. September 2007: Halo 3 is released, and now has not one but two bumper buttons (RB and LB) that are used to pick up guns, and two separate reload buttons. Tomonobu Itagaki's Ninja Gaiden II is shown for the first time, and RB is officially used as the confirm button in menu dialog boxes and to interact with objects such as save statues. At this precise moment occurs to me how fucking stupid it is that we need two letters to describe a single button. October 2007: The Orange Box is released for PC and Xbox 360, and in every screenshot and video of the game, HUDs are littered with Xbox 360 buttons. The box includes Half-Life 2: Episode Two, whose mechanics on the PC allows you to sprint and jump and crouch and slide into nooks, all without moving your fingers from where they usually reside; it also features an authentic and gleeful driving segment, in which the 1:1 hand-to-neck instantaneity of the mouse simulates all the nuance of driving (looking over at the passenger for a glance; turning your head to reverse). It feels so right, but most people play it on the Xbox, where they do nothing but complain about how stilted it feels. Portal is also included in the box, which would be recommendable to every person on earth, but its accessibility is ruined by the fact that the Xbox version requires first-timers to learn the equivalent of the Steel Battalion controller before they can perform with any dexterity. 2008: Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4 come out, and continue to implement the foolish digit dance on the surface of your DualShock. MGS4 now has over the shoulder aiming and a first-person mode, to satisfy every possible Game Claw stance, and it also finally adopts The Most Retarded User Interface Quirk of the Millennium, which is that the No Button means Yes and the Yes Button means No (the standard on all PlayStation software). So there you have it. This is what it's come to. I'm drawing a line in the sand here. You can't like the elegance of the Wii and continue to accept this bullshit. At its most complicated (Nunchuck+Remote), the Wii is only as complex as the N64 controller, which, say what you will about it, but it's like fucking Pac-Man compared to the hundred-pronged BDSM devices we have now. I physically cannot play games with these controllers anymore, pushing a little inverted crosshair back and forth over a terrorist's head with an itsy-bitsy plastic lollipop. What the fuck kind of representation of aiming is this supposed to be, anyway? This is how you control a Mars rover. This is not how you fire a gun. You'll have to forgive me if this is an unfashionably late entry on a subject that's been pulverized into memepulp by the Kotakusphere, but hey.

Two months ago, I was fired from my job as the city council's cameraman for (in a state of momentary unconscious reflex) zooming in upon the cleavage of a board member on live television, and now become physically ill any time I attempt to move either a first- or third-person camera in a videogame. Out of morbid fear, in the past sixty days I have only played Virtual Console games and Lost Odyssey.

It was two days ago that I bore witness to something of an inverted superplay video: a five year old trying to play Halo 3, and having one molten hell of a problem just looking and walking and shooting. It was so murderously clumsy and frustrating that you could probably show it to Gitmo inmates and get some real results. I tried to help him, verbally, but I didn't know where to begin. Every fucking gizmo on the controller comes in sets of twos and fours. It's not enough just to say, "Hit ____." Do I mean left __ or right ___? Blue? Green? Yellow? Let me look down. Oh, I died. After about five minutes of this torture, the level's tribal drums never even given an opportunity to break their loop, I decided then and there:

The right analog stick is the worst thing to happen to videogames in the last ten years.

It's true.

Let me map the timeline of first- and third-person shooter controls on consoles over the course of a decade.

1997: Goldeneye is released. It is designed as a combination of Doom plus Virtua Cop. It uses an elegant single-stick design that allows even a grandmother to move and turn shoot with just one hand. As these virginal minutes wear on, you can suggest holding the shoulder button (there's only one!) to aim at specific body parts. There's a big blue button that changes your guns, and a big green one that reloads and opens doors. That's it! There's also some C-strafing and other stuff that's totally optional, but hell, you can actually explain to someone the mechanics of Goldeneye in under eight paragraphs, which is downright fucking miraculous.

1998: The Dreamcast is released, and brings with it the last elegant controller made until 2006. You can freelook in Quake III with the sole analog stick, and move on its diamond of buttons. You can shoot with one trigger and jump with another. It is here that we begin the use of analog stick as a poor man's human interface device. A clumsy, drunken surrogate mouse. But the asymmetry of looking and moving still makes it intuitive, plus, there are so few buttons on the controller that your thumbs and index fingers occupy them all at any given moment.

2000: Treasure releases Sin & Punishment, a game which finally validates that first diagram on the packaging of the N64 controller, the one where the left thumb wields that long-untouched D-pad, and the right one waggles the stick. Movement is appropriately digital, limited to strafing and jumping (forward motion is on autopilot), while the stick controls the cursor, and the trigger shoots bullets. It's hand-in-glove. You never have to move any of your thumbs away from where they belong. Everything's right there.

2001: Halo comes along. The Xbox is the first controller with both two analog sticks and two triggers, and you know what that means. Finally, we're kinda sorta replicating the PC, even though we're not quite doing it. There are a million auxiliary functions that demand you take your thumbs off where they belong, and these have been assigned to the big tasty face buttons that beg for loftier roles. So you can jump, but that means having to stop aiming for a split-second. Same for the melee, or reloading, or switching guns, or turning your flashlight on and off, or switching grenades. It's well-organized chaos, but it's still chaos. Even driving a car reinvents what has been known since Super Mario Kart. Most of the time, your fingers form a strange Square of Tendonitis, and if you take away the controller, it looks like you have muscular dystrophy.

2002: Metroid Prime comes out, and forums go aflame because it actually uses a control scheme that makes sense on the GameCube controller, instead of aping Halo's dual analog. The tiny D-pad and C-stick contain the auxilary functions -- switching visors and weapons (four of each) -- and 99% of the time, your digits are at a natural symmetrical rest upon the stick and its giant buttons. When you have to aim, you do so using the same big, white, natural stick that you use to move. Games like Rez come out, and people decry its elegance because they want to move and look independently, etc.

2004: Halo 2 comes out, and gloms even more shit onto itself. You can now dual-weild weapons, and fire with their respective triggers, etc. It is about this time that dual-analog becomes the de facto control standard, and R1 becomes the official attack button of a generation. Even third-person platformers now have guns that are fired with R1, and actually trying to jump from platform to platform in these games is more complicated than ever, requiring you to juggle your thumb between the safe, soft face buttons and the arthritic simulation of pushing a pea around a plate that is right-analog camera control.

2005: Resident Evil 4 comes out, uses the big, friendly A button to fire its gun. The craterfaced Tomonobu Itagaki fans anti-A sentiment by talking about what a travesty it is that a police officer can't aim and move at the same time.

August 2007: Metroid Prime 3 comes out and solves a decade's worth of shooter control cruft, but nobody notices, because Halo 3 is less than a month away from release.

September 2007: Halo 3 is released, and now has not one but two bumper buttons (RB and LB) that are used to pick up guns, and two separate reload buttons. Tomonobu Itagaki's Ninja Gaiden II is shown for the first time, and RB is officially used as the confirm button in menu dialog boxes and to interact with objects such as save statues. At this precise moment occurs to me how fucking stupid it is that we need two letters to describe a single button.

October 2007: The Orange Box is released for PC and Xbox 360, and in every screenshot and video of the game, HUDs are littered with Xbox 360 buttons. The box includes Half-Life 2: Episode Two, whose mechanics on the PC allows you to sprint and jump and crouch and slide into nooks, all without moving your fingers from where they usually reside; it also features an authentic and gleeful driving segment, in which the 1:1 hand-to-neck instantaneity of the mouse simulates all the nuance of driving (looking over at the passenger for a glance; turning your head to reverse). It feels so right, but most people play it on the Xbox, where they do nothing but complain about how stilted it feels. Portal is also included in the box, which would be recommendable to every person on earth, but its accessibility is ruined by the fact that the Xbox version requires first-timers to learn the equivalent of the Steel Battalion controller before they can perform with any dexterity.

2008: Grand Theft Auto IV and Metal Gear Solid 4 come out, and continue to implement the foolish digit dance on the surface of your DualShock. MGS4 now has over the shoulder aiming and a first-person mode, to satisfy every possible Game Claw stance, and it also finally adopts The Most Retarded User Interface Quirk of the Millennium, which is that the No Button means Yes and the Yes Button means No (the standard on all PlayStation software).

So there you have it. This is what it's come to.

I'm drawing a line in the sand here. You can't like the elegance of the Wii and continue to accept this bullshit. At its most complicated (Nunchuck+Remote), the Wii is only as complex as the N64 controller, which, say what you will about it, but it's like fucking Pac-Man compared to the hundred-pronged BDSM devices we have now.

I physically cannot play games with these controllers anymore, pushing a little inverted crosshair back and forth over a terrorist's head with an itsy-bitsy plastic lollipop. What the fuck kind of representation of aiming is this supposed to be, anyway? This is how you control a Mars rover. This is not how you fire a gun. ]]> Metal Gear Solid Mobile: Trial Editon Review http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13225 http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13225 Fri Apr 18, 2008 7:38 am Tokyo Rude http://forums.selectbutton.net/viewtopic.php?t=13225 Sneaking Mission action now available on Japanese Cellphones. My new cellphone came with a demo for Metal Gear Solid: Mobile. My last cellphone came with the full game of Ridge Racer, so I have to say this was a pretty good upgrade. As is trademark with metal gear it starts with a wall of text. Using my basic Japanese skills and knowledge of Metal Gear I decoded that Snake needs to grab a keycard and "Press the action button". What ends up happening is you walk up to a MGS2 style computer terminal, have it download to 75%, open your codec, talk to someone who might be a girl but I'm not sure, and then get on an elevator. A cutscene rolls, and you'll find yourself back at the title screen, this time directly asking if you want to buy the full game. This is Snake, Otacon do you read me? For reasons known only to Otacon, I'm wasn't supposed to kill the jobs. Konami's mobile divisions great game design then only gave me a gun to tranquilize them or punch them in the face (No head snapping sadly.) The game features MGS2 portraits and about MGS one level square rooms. The only real sound effects are the trademark codec noises. The cutscene at the end of the demo has a very silent movie feel. Two guards approach as Snake's elevator doors open. Snake takes care of the first guard. The second one moves into view of the other's body as the screen fades to black. The game then asks you to buy it. That was probably the best, part of the trial, and more than likely the entire game. Maybe you enjoy giants walls of Japanese text on your cellphone that isn't from someone you know. The game was a decent enough distraction. I figured some of you wanted to know how the game was. It's a cellphone game. Hacking your PSP and playing MGS1 on that is an infinitely better portable idea. Or I hear there's a pretty good GBC port available. I don't really like it myself. What you didn't think I'd be a woman?" "いや、　こんな美人だとは思わなかった。。。" The fact that I was reading it in Japanese and hearing it in my head in English was either a sign of how good the translation team was or how phoned in the game was. Not going there.

Sneaking Mission action now available on Japanese Cellphones. My new cellphone came with a demo for Metal Gear Solid: Mobile. My last cellphone came with the full game of Ridge Racer, so I have to say this was a pretty good upgrade. As is trademark with metal gear it starts with a wall of text. Using my basic Japanese skills and knowledge of Metal Gear I decoded that Snake needs to grab a keycard and "Press the action button". What ends up happening is you walk up to a MGS2 style computer terminal, have it download to 75%, open your codec, talk to someone who might be a girl but I'm not sure, and then get on an elevator. A cutscene rolls, and you'll find yourself back at the title screen, this time directly asking if you want to buy the full game.

This is Snake, Otacon do you read me?

For reasons known only to Otacon, I'm wasn't supposed to kill the jobs. Konami's mobile divisions great game design then only gave me a gun to tranquilize them or punch them in the face (No head snapping sadly.) The game features MGS2 portraits and about MGS one level square rooms. The only real sound effects are the trademark codec noises. The cutscene at the end of the demo has a very silent movie feel. Two guards approach as Snake's elevator doors open. Snake takes care of the first guard. The second one moves into view of the other's body as the screen fades to black. The game then asks you to buy it. That was probably the best, part of the trial, and more than likely the entire game.

Maybe you enjoy giants walls of Japanese text on your cellphone that isn't from someone you know. The game was a decent enough distraction. I figured some of you wanted to know how the game was. It's a cellphone game. Hacking your PSP and playing MGS1 on that is an infinitely better portable idea. Or I hear there's a pretty good GBC port available. I don't really like it myself.

What you didn't think I'd be a woman?"
"いや、　こんな美人だとは思わなかった。。。"

The fact that I was reading it in Japanese and hearing it in my head in English was either a sign of how good the translation team was or how phoned in the game was.

Not going there. ]]>